ABC loved the screenplay I wrote as a pilot TV episode. In the opening scene, we find Dracula’s 7th cousin Jeb discovering he’s lost his sense of smell. In the next scene, there is an awkward exchange as Jeb pounces on a steaming bowl of tomato soup, mistaking it for a bowl of blood. From there, he breaks a fang on the neck of a mannequin at Macy’s. You’re welcome, America.