Dr. Oz. Does anyone else think he is the 2^nd creepiest guy in the world? I keep looking online on Interpol to see if I can match his picture to known offenders around the world. I feel like that French detective in “Hannibal.”

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I’m going to start posing with my cans of tuna and bbq potato chips in the parking lot. Give these deer hunters a run for their money. PS: Don’t go in the store in full camo and face meshnet. They think you are there for something else entirely. Even if you are ‘hunting’ chips.

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Not all advice is good – and no truth applies to all people: Someone who didn’t know me said “Do what your mom would do.” After the high-speed chase and meeting all those police officers, they gave me a set of steel bracelets and insisted on putting me up for the night. They even asked for my autograph and asked me a bunch of questions, like they were interested in me. Thanks, mom.

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No more Natural Food Stores. Henceforth, only Super-Natural Food Stores for me.

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Really, you can start a martial arts studio anywhere. Just rent a room, then start punching and kicking people while talking in a smooth, even macho voice. Judo is just fancy slapping and some legwork. With a monthly fee. And goofy pants.