A little political humor for Senator Tom Cotton…


Even the postal service knows me too well. Any piece of mail marked “First Class Fail” comes directly to my house.








Culinary tip: I love you all but no one in this universe can both prepare and photograph guacamole elegantly enough to avoid a Pampers flashback.


It took me 40+ years to identify the voice in my head: it’s a drunk mime, being stung by bees.


I love it when the birds sing too, except when they are doing bad karaoke.


Did you know that I-45 in Texas is the shortest primary interstate? Let’s hope it applies to President 45, too.


While silence may indeed be the best reply to a fool, as a wise person once quipped, it is certainly not the most satisfying of all available options. – X


“To get the best most honest experience when meeting new people: smile, make eye contact, extend your arm and hand slightly – and then slap yourself. Now you are ready to delve into the frightening world of other people.” From my new book, “Yes, Seriously.”



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