Not What’s Expected


I made the above to amuse myself, as always…


I’m on the rantbox again! Look, guys, if your friends or family say things like, “There is a car that runs on water or that gets 100 miles per gallon, they just can’t make money off of it,” they need to be swiftly conked on the face with any available skillet or hammer. Twice. “They” don’t have a hidden cure for cancer, there is no car that runs on water, and you should forego watching sports or “The Bachelor” to read a book. You’re supposed to be an adult. When you say things like this, we can’t kill you and hide the body – but we want to.



Trigger alert: do not read this post if you are susceptible to S.U.B. Syndrome, have imaginary friends, or take medication for blood clots. Several friends beseeched me to write a post that would serve as a guide to living a better, more robust life. After inspecting my journals of wisdom, quips, and information, I ran across the group of Norwegian philosophers known as Ylvis and found fresh renewal of what it means to be alive and to pursue a life of deeper meaning. I’ve noted many words of knowledge from these scholars in my personal journals.

Opening the book in order to place it flat on the table, I found my way to page 89, to read an excerpt from Ylvis’ essay “Stonehenge.” These following words provide all the meaning I need to get through this day:

“What’s the purpose of Stonehenge? A giant granite birthday cake, or a prison far too easy to escape?”

It’s not what you expected, is it? Well, that’s how wisdom works. If you are expecting to read something totally familiar and devoid of surprise, you aren’t learning. And if you expect normal commentary on my page, you’ve eaten too many mushrooms.




The more insistent and unapologetic the voice, the greater your motive for doubt.




Not for the agnostics, who look on in equal casual disregard, but for those who walk without feet touching the ground.






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