From my upcoming autobiography, “Onions & Cigarettes.”

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My new book, “Stem First: How To Lose Weight by Eating Gross Stuff” is about to be published in paperback.

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My new book, “Stem First: How To Lose Weight by Eating Gross Stuff” is about to be published in paperback.

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“The tables have turned,” he shouted triumphantly.

“But the chairs remain upright,” I retorted.

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I wish that the sequel to “Mad Max” would have been titled “Mad Max: Beyond Palindrome,” because then I could watch the movie from the end or beginning and it would end the same.

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Cupid shot me with a rubber arrow. I shot him with a rubber bullet. Love is a dangerous game.

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Cupid shot me with a rubber arrow. I shot him with a rubber bullet. Love is a dangerous game.

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“Time flies, and usually in the middle seat.” -x

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