A List For Listerine

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I stopped to ask him what he was doing or perhaps to help. He was struggling to get a heavy mechanical device onto the ground. “What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Well, the light on the dashboard said ‘Place Transmission In Park.'”

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Technology can be offensive. My bank uses facial recognition software in real-time using ultra-HD cameras. As I opened the vestibule door to enter the bank, a computerized voice said, “Sir. No animals are permitted in this facility.”

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Scene from Jurassic Park

“I feel like a snack” versus “I feel like having a snack.”
Also, I’m never taking one of Dawn’s “shortcuts” again.

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My doctor is old school but the leeches were a bit much.

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I attended a rally and got excited when the speaker pointed at me. “You can make change!” he shouted. And then the rolls of quarters, pennies, and nickels hit me. I wasn’t ready for change.

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I stopped to ask him what he was doing or perhaps to help. He was struggling to get a heavy mechanical device onto the ground. “What are you doing?” I asked him.

“Well, the light on the dashboard said ‘Place Transmission In Park.'”

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Not to be lost in the shuffle, every second is an occasion unto itself.

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The door greeter/attendant came toward me with a cart. He pushed it my direction.

I quickly said, “Can you help me get in it?”

Before he even really listened, he said, “Yes sir.”

As soon as he said it, he turned a little red.

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Saturday, I hit the gas instead of the brakes – and drove through the front window of a vintage record store. The Guinness Book of World Records called and told me that I now have the record for most broken records.

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As Connie soon learned, skydiving is one of those hobbies in which one should n-e-v-e-r choose the super-savings package.

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Wishing to know the meaning of “forever,” I went and waited for my wife in the car.

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“Play games & have fun here at work,” management instructed. That came to an end today, though, when I noticed a pair of idiots in the meeting and yelled “YAHTZEE” to everyone.

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(Made with a friend’s high school prom picture, just for good measure.)

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Re-purposing safety posters – and using coworkers pictures to do it.

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Is this a “I want to speak to a manager” haircut?

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