Make fun of my stack of index cards I always carry? Look at this totally legit “Coupon” I’m gonna use at Guido’s Pizza.

The young cashier got a huge kick out of the coupone when I handed it to her at the register. She went to the back to prank the kitchen staff. She proudly kept it.

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“No, it’s none of your business why I want a dozen of these.”
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I submitted my concealed carry gun permit application. Because it didn’t have my category, I scribbled in “Glue Gun.”

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Iguess holding up a $3 bottle of Oakleaf wine at Walmart market and shouting, “I’ve got supper!” is somehow not a good idea?

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There are times when I catch myself forgetting how nice it is to be able to communicate in another language. English is a bastard of a language and I pity anyone trying to feel comfortable with it as a second language.

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If it is one thing I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t count on, it is an abacus.

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Today is a day when I truly need Shoresy to accompany me as I encounter the rash of degens in my path.

P.S. If you don’t know who Shoresy is, you have my sympathy, loser.

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Another deconstructed social media post…

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A bit of foolishness, a bit of satire…

If you suffer from GSS, please accept my non-apology.

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“Thumbless people have no middle finger” is both true and deeper than the words themselves belie.

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The market is getting too specialized. Now they’re identifying foods by the hour of consumption.

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