Listing To The Middle

20191026_163640.jpg

Make fun of my stack of index cards I always carry? Look at this totally legit “Coupon” I’m gonna use at Guido’s Pizza.

The young cashier got a huge kick out of the coupone when I handed it to her at the register. She went to the back to prank the kitchen staff. She proudly kept it.

.

.

20191026_151100

“No, it’s none of your business why I want a dozen of these.”
.
.

I submitted my concealed carry gun permit application. Because it didn’t have my category, I scribbled in “Glue Gun.”

.

.

Iguess holding up a $3 bottle of Oakleaf wine at Walmart market and shouting, “I’ve got supper!” is somehow not a good idea?

.

.

There are times when I catch myself forgetting how nice it is to be able to communicate in another language. English is a bastard of a language and I pity anyone trying to feel comfortable with it as a second language.

.

.

If it is one thing I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t count on, it is an abacus.

.

.

Bad news: my neighbor’s new pet Rhesus monkey died during an explosion.

Good news: now there’s enough Rhesus Pieces to give out to the kids on Halloween.

.

.

 

Today is a day when I truly need Shoresy to accompany me as I encounter the rash of degens in my path.

P.S. If you don’t know who Shoresy is, you have my sympathy, loser.

.

.

white

Another deconstructed social media post…

.

.

thought-catalog-kkysaOcVE94-unsplash.jpg

A bit of foolishness, a bit of satire…

If you suffer from GSS, please accept my non-apology.

.

.

“Thumbless people have no middle finger” is both true and deeper than the words themselves belie.

.

.

76603163_10158941194979115_3579966317660209152_o

The market is getting too specialized. Now they’re identifying foods by the hour of consumption.

.

.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s