I do not think a long-lost memory would have returned to me today had I not been showering in the dark. Alexa played the the song I almost always listen to – “Tiny Dancer,” and then went to the next song: “Purple Rain.” 

For those of you who don’t know that there is a term for repetitive sensory input, it’s called stimming. One of the odd consequences of receiving the same sensory information repetitively is that sometimes the act of repetition results in an almost blank state of mind. It can work like meditation or cognitive distraction, much like the tendency toward having shower thoughts.

People sometimes ask me why I shower in the dark. At times, it amplifies the disconnect that brings disassociated shower thoughts. 

As the song played, I felt like a light flashed in my head. The long lost memory came to me. My brain traveled 39 years into the past. At first, all I could recall is that a high school band friend had dragged me somewhere to watch “Purple Rain” the movie at someone’s house. I couldn’t remember which bandmate it was. He knew my circumstances and that I did not get out much. It seems like I can remember the names of four or five people who also watched the movie. For some odd reason, Winfield Watson is the most vivid name and face among those who were there. 

I hadn’t thought of that movie night in years. Had someone asked me about it, I’m convinced I would have told them they were mistaken. 

The moment in the shower left me feeling like I was on the verge of a flood of newly-accessed memories. It took me a long time to realize how many gaps I had in my childhood memories. I understand why that it’s the case. Having this one took me by surprise and it lingers. 

X

.