Nothing to See Here

a loan

This bad joke has earned me at least 2 1/2 laughs and groans over the years…

 

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As dumb as Trump sounds, Tom Cotton does 14 layups of hateful idiocy in the time it takes Trump to wash his tiny hands and dribble the ball down court.

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“There’s no place to eat,” the moron said with great conviction, oblivious to the intrinsically skewed worldview contained in his complaint. (My publicist also told me I needed to focus more on posts that will cause readers to make that ‘WTH’ face as they read them.)

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If I knew DeAngelo Williams, I’d have an award made, except mine would be funny. I’d walk up and hand it to him and say…. “Here’s your award for participating, DeAngelo.” And drop the mic. And run like hell because he’s a big guy and also because people don’t like their foibles to be pointed out to them.

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Just to confuse folks, I went into my local Lowe’s and asked where to find ‘bird showers.’ The guy looked at me strangely and said, “Don’t you mean bird baths?” I took a moment and told him, “My birds don’t like to sit down while they are getting clean.” And then marched off. The nerve of some people!

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smokes on the water (2)

Smokes on the Water

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I was SO hoping that when I clicked the link about the valedictorian from a Louisiana high school being banned for facial hair that it would be a female student! I’m conflicted about the real story. I don’t know whether to be on the side of the student, Andrew Jones, or the doofuses who thought this would be a good idea. Facial hair, like other monumentally important social issues, obviously warrants this kind of excessive response. We can’t have high school graduates with facial hair. Before you know it, they will be like the teachers and school board members with facial hair, and then other adults will be attending the graduations with facial hair. Andrew had facial hair for 4 years. Tangipahoa Parish is a place we need to remind us of how thinking too hard leads to some crazy ideas.

The school principal wouldn’t comment, but it seemed as if he nevertheless talked out of his ass to everyone else off camera.

 

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