What Day Is It?

I created a new flavor of gum, one made from the things one might encounter on a stroll on an average street: pavemint

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“He died of a broken heart,” shouted both the cardiologist and the poet. But only one of them sent a bill.

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A picture I made, from “Los Tiempos Van Cambiando…” one of the best songs imaginable. “Los Tiempos Van Cambiando” Franky Perez

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pave your yard.jpg

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NO, I didn’t bring my Yeti to the beach. They prefer to live on the slopes of snowy mountains. And they don’t like publicity, either. Modern marketing has ruined this creature’s ability to live a quiet life.

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Mediterranean Diet: If you can’t spell it, you shouldn’t claim it works.

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I knew I might have picked the wrong job when the boss said: “We are not satisfied with just a double standard here. We insist on a triple standard.”

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It’s hard to think normally when you see Blue Man Group live and then watch the newest Bo Burnham on Netflix.

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The only phrase worse than “I’m wearing my <Vote For Pedro> boxers,” is “I’m not wearing them.”

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Most despised post to date: “That awkward moment when you see that a friend is against socialism when it is for ‘free’ college, but loves making you pay for 13 years of public education for their kids.”

PS: I personally never complain about taxes or refer to myself as a ‘taxpayer.’

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“It’s finger-licking good.” Really? I don’t know anyone who licks his own fingers like that. Besides, if you want to impress me, I’d like to see “It’s toe-licking good.” Anyone who licks their toes to get the juicy leftovers is truly proving the deliciousness of the food in question – and their flexibility.

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