256 Monday

Clark Kent’s mom: SuperMa’am.

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I spent one birthday in my late-20s in the UK, with 3 of my best feline friends. 2 of them spoke French, so it was an awkward meal.

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thelma-and-louise

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I made the above picture to demonstrate what a Trump presidency will do to her in just one day.

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  Record heat. Extreme cold. Fiery explosion. Wildfire in residential neighborhood. Massive flood. Bribery scandal involving bible college. Next? Locusts. A week in Springdale.

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barbie-in-the-desert

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In a surprise move, the Trump team announced that Obama was going to have to pay to repair the Oval Office. Quote: “The Oval Office wasn’t round when he took office. We want that thing square again before he leaves.”

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The neighborhood where I live was hit by a grass fire that traveled and jumped along a long circuitous path of a surprising number of houses. The siding melted off many of them and the effect is other-worldly, especially with so many yards burned away to resemble a velvety black carpet.. It looks like my mouth feels when I accidentally eat a microwaved burrito and then try to cool my mouth off by drinking boiling coffee. The fire at Ozark Regional Transit woke us up early this a.m. too, even though at the time we couldn’t figure out what had startled us awake. I joked when I woke up that it was probably just a burglar dragging a chair across the kitchen floor. PS: I would have given anything to know when the fire hit my neighborhood, as I would then have photographic proof that my house was probably built on a defunct cemetery or ancient burial ground.

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streep-fighter

I made this one: StreepFighter. You can applaud or puke, depending on whether you enjoy mockery or sincerity, in either order. (Meryl Streep)

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Warning: political quips here, ones I didn’t give away to the real comedians…
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Trump is writing a new book about all his fabulous ideas. All the chapters are Chapter 11.
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News flash: Trump asked Congress to pay for the cost of adding “Baby On Board” decals to all presidential vehicles after January 20th.
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They found an old bag in the Trump Tower and had to get everyone out on Friday. Update- it was just Mike Pence taking a nap.
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Subtle joke: The Secret Service couldn’t figure out why Trump kept bumping his head on the doorway into his office. They measured his height and discovered he had grown 4 inches. He finally admitted he had been taking viagra.

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In a 1989 book about him, it was revealed how Trump has so much free time: he never goes to the bathroom – it just comes directly out of his mouth.
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Trump asked to do new version of toilet paper commercial with Mr. Whipple: “Please don’t squeeze the charlatan.”

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prism

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