Facts To Amuse

The table fork was once seen as blasphemous and uncouth. I vote we return to knives and fingers. Family gatherings will either be calmer or more calamitous. Either way, we’ll have some great TikTok videos of the melees that ensue.

Bagpipes did not originate in Scotland, although they sure as hell sound like they should have.

4 of 10 American adults believe that man and dinosaurs lived during the same time period. So don’t be surprised that they believe other crazy things, too.

One you won’t like: it is actually safer TO WAKE sleepwalkers than let them continue to sleepwalk. This is another one that people argue about but the science is solid. P.S. NEVER wake up a manager. No one needs that kind of negativity awakened.

Birds will not abandon their young if you touch them or rescue them. It’s a myth that is so ingrained that I’m reluctant to include it. You can touch KFC wings all you want, too, even if you grab them from your neighbor.

Lincoln is the only president who was also a licensed bartender. He was also an accomplished wrestler. That obviously didn’t help him in Ford theater.

Several noted cowboys never wore cowboy hats, opting for bowler hats. Historical accuracy in film isn’t that important, especially when you consider that John Wayne’s real first name was Marion.

Your corneas don’t get oxygen from blood. They get it from the air.

Women have more tastebuds than men – and they are twice as likely to be supertasters and capable of discerning a wider variety of flavors.

In a group of 70 people, there is a 99.99% chance that two of them have the same birthday. Some people will read this and immediately start arguing; there is a word to describe the negation of a fact because of the seeming improbability of it. Obviously, I don’t remember what it is or I would have mentioned it. That’s called old age.

It’s crazy to believe that some apples are over a year old by the time you buy them in the supermarket.

Italy didn’t have tomato sauce until the 16th century because tomatoes are native to the Americas.

Twister was considered to be a little bit scandalous when it first came out in the 60s. This seems reasonable because it’s hard to watch good-looking people play Twister without feeling a little bit of hellfire on one’s conscience.

Cheetahs cannot roar, which is why they would otherwise make great wives.

Entomologists who study cockroaches often develop allergies to both ground coffee and chocolate.

Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

You can thank Shakespeare for the name Jessica, which he came up with writing The Merchant of Venice.

Lint that collects in the bottom of your pockets is called gnurr. For real.

A “butt load” is actually 126 gallons. I tell people this and they don’t believe it. It’s true.

The shape for a Pringle is technically Hyperbolic Paraboloid. Try using that word in a eulogy.

It took the dude who invented the Rubik’s Cube one month to solve it. This amuses me greatly.