“The world won’t treat you better just because you’re a good person.” 

It’s a nice reminder. The corollary to this is also true:

“Just because you’re a bad person doesn’t mean you will ever suffer the consequences for it.”

Even if you do everything right, you might still fail.

And if you do a buffet of stupid things, the odds grow increasingly against you.

Then there’s fate, luck, or whatever you might label it. Despite it all, I’m lucky. 

On the anniversary day of my emergency surgery, I changed my desktop monitor wallpaper to the first picture I snapped once I realized I was not in purgatory. (Admittedly, my presence in the hospital bed might qualify. Both for me and the people supposed to be caring for me.)  I’m not sure how many times over the intervening days I’ve stopped and looked at the picture. 

Oddly, it mostly stopped me from saying, “Time is short,” with such frequency. It definitely has not abated the mental recitation. It had to have been in my subconscious the other day when I sprinted past a safety point for my body. It didn’t occur to me that perhaps my explanation for why I had several 200+ floor days on my Fitbit should be attributed to it. 

I spent too much time thinking about September 28th, 1991 as well. And about the two terrible head traumas I had as a child. I’m not including the punches from hands that should not have inflicted such anger. Those hands grew silent, as happens to all of us.

What’s my point? I don’t have one. There may well not be one, and I’m okay with that. 

Love, X

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