The older man was standing outside the inconvenience store. He animatedly gestured to another man I see frequently. I’ll call the first man Steve and the man I recognized Paul.

I didn’t catch the first part of the conversation. As I exited the store, Steve said, “I just don’t understand how they’re blaming the folks below the border for the drug crisis.”

“Well they’re not controlling the border. Anyone can come in here.” Paul stated the obvious.

Steve nodded. “Okay, okay, okay, okay,” he said in a staccato rapid-fire reply. “Assume every one of these people comes in with a kilo of fentanyl, heroin, or meth.”

Paul looked at Steve like he was crazy. “I don’t think that’s true.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah but for the purpose of my argument let’s just say everyone comes in with a kilo.”

“Okay dude,” Paul replied. 

“It’s like popcorn flavored with urine.” Steve smiled, knowing that Paul was going to either think he was crazy or ask a follow-up question. 

“No one wants popcorn with pee on it!” 

Steve smiled. “Exactly.”

“Exactly what,” Paul asked.

“Imagine that I’ve made the ugliest car in the world and manufacture 2 million of them. They’re going to rust because nobody wants to buy them.”

Paul was still confused. I listened in fascination because I could tell that Steve had told this anecdote before. Probably many times. 

“The problem ain’t who is getting in the country. The problem is the people who actively want and use the drugs that you say are coming over the border. I’ve not seen anyone be forced to buy an ugly car or to use hard drugs. They go looking for it.”

Paul realized that Steve had a point.

Steve kept talking. “The problem is never the supply. It’s that people want it. Heck, way over 10,000 people a year die from alcohol accidents driving. And 20 times that die from drinking alcohol every year.”

“What does that have to do with popcorn and urine?” Paul asked the question like he really needed to know the answer. 

“Nothing. It’s just a way to phrase the question in such a weird way that it makes you reset your brain a little bit to listen.”

Paul laughed. 

Steve added, “And while we look to where the people are pointing the finger at the border, we are kind of forgetting that the drugs that are really hurting people are made by the drug companies. The ones making alcohol and cigarettes are right up there with them.”

“It didn’t used to stop you,” Paul told him. 

“Exactly. Drugs are everywhere. We can go next door and get them from several different people. They wouldn’t be selling them if people weren’t lining up to buy them.”

It’s not that Steve said anything particularly novel. It was the urine-flavored popcorn that stuck in my head. I sometimes engage in this type of nonsensical reference when I’m talking to people. In case you didn’t notice. Now I have a ridiculous name for the habit.

X

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