This story proves I don’t always get the last word, but I do often get the last laugh. 

After work I went to the nearest inconvenience store to buy a lottery ticket.

(If you ask why I bother buying lottery tickets, it’s because they won’t give them to me at no charge. Duh.) 

Anyway, I’m careful when I pull in to that particular store. Fellow visitors to this particular store sometimes display a disregard forcommon traffic laws. Such as driving blindfolded, for example. 

I had to hit the brakes and come to a complete stop in order to avoid a car that tried to exceed the speed limit going in reverse as they backed out of the space adjacent to the building.

Someone behind me braked hard enough to cause a squeal. The driver hit the horn to announce the size of their genitals.

I pulled into the spot the reversing speed demon just left. The car that had almost hit me from behind raced up to park on my right. 

I exited my little blue car and walked around the front. The man driving the car said something I didn’t understand. 

“What?” Sometimes I’m really eloquent. 

Asking him to repeat himself must have been a burden because he shook his head. 

I expected something derogatory. And he probably meant it that way. He glanced along my car. “You’re so gay you can’t even drive STRAIGHT.”

While I’ve seen the phrase on social media, it fit the situation perfectly. Naturally I burst out laughing, which confused the guy. 

His insult tickled me. 

PS If I ever see him behind me again, of course I’ll do the logical thing and crash through the side of the building to avoid inconveniencing him.