I’m so proud of President Trump. When he heard the inner voice calling him, he didn’t just lean into it, he gave himself head trauma and dived in. Not content with being a bad president, he chose instead to be the worst. That takes guts, at least 76 extra pounds of it. When your goal is to become synonymous with half the negative words in a thesaurus, you must be willing to surround yourself with like-minded people. Our president tirelessly turned over every rock to find the kind of people he wanted. You can’t surpass the dubious achievements of Mr. Mustache unless you’re willing to go the extra mile to beat up the homeless guy on the corner. I wish people would stop complaining about Trump. Even though he dodged military service, he’s adopted the old army slogan: Be All You Can Be. If you’re born an ass, it’s your obligation to be the best worst ass possible. As I hear the news each day, I nod with pride, knowing that he is proof that literally anyone can become president. No matter what your criminal record, whether you’ve abused people, or used an entire political apparatus to make yourself and your friends wealthy, you can aspire to be president.

Either way, you still have to go to work, and still pretend that we’re not being governed by the least qualified and most hateful president in our history. We didn’t choose bad. We chose the worst. And that’s the best testament to our broken democracy I can think of. He wants to return our country to the ideals of the Constitution as originally written. Stop complaining that you will have no rights or that you’re counted as a fraction of a person. It’s what the people who stole this country wanted. Trump proves everyday that he’s the man for the job.

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PS That is my wood panel hybrid picture of Zach Galifianakis/Jesus. It reminds me that no matter how hard we work to improve things, there’s always going to be an idiot intent on perverting our goals. And a lot of people who should know better standing behind him while he does it.
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