This is a list of funny nonsense. (You will see that I am at least 1/2 right on this.)
First, the picture on this post is captioned:
The X Culinary Articulation Theorem: Any restaurant which uses a difficult-to-pronounce word in its name will in general cost at least 33% more than it would cost you to eat at your favorite place.
I tell someone my name.
“How do you spell that?”
“It depends: what state are you from?”
“Why would it matter what state I’m from?”
“You’d be surprised.”
Trump: Cruel and Unusual, The Musical.
Encrypted: burial for IT people.
Since Northwest Arkansas is really just one big metro area, we should start calling it N.W.A.M.:
Northwest Arkansas Metro. (Exceptions: we don’t want Johnson or Bethel Heights.)
Gun zealots make me want to drink. Religious zealots make me need to drink.
“Life is so short it can’t even get on most carnival rides.”
Internet Rule #44: Never engage in tit-for-tat with someone whose profile picture can’t be distinguished from a mugshot.
Frittatta: a word used when someone wants to charge $2 more for an omelet.
Headline I’d love to see: “NASA Confirms the Existence of Dumbasses.”
Cracker Contingent: The usual group of hillbillies who always have an opinion about subjects that are out of their reach.