Category Archives: Uncategorized

Catch Up

It’s fascinating that an experience can be pale and yet the memory of it prevail. Time flavors all and not always to our benefit.

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Vacations, fabulous meals, and exotic experiences are truly splendid. However, 95% of your life is contained in the other. The surest way to be unhappy is to attempt to derive most of your happiness from the exceptional 5%. -x

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Grammar vs. BotanyI visited Eastern Madison County last month. Walking across one of the protected tracts of forest, I noted a huge grove of conifers. 90%+ of them grew almost horizontally, parallel to the ground. I turned to the guide. “What kind of coniferous trees grow horizontally like that?” I asked him. “Those? Those are supines.”

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What a weird end to my workday! Exiting work and entering the parking garage, I jumped into my car and noticed a huge crack in my windshield. I rolled down my window, leaned out, and told Darian to get the hell off my hood.

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Rule of Specificity: I’m not a real stickler for words; however, there are times it’s important to be specific. For example, if someone working on something for you calls on the radio or texts you, “I need a number 2 ASAP,” don’t be surprised when things go south quickly, and doubly so if the person requesting the item is near a window.

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“There’s always time for what fills your heart. And if not, what’s the point of this mad world?” – X

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If you describe a third person to someone by saying, “…he looks exactly like a disgruntled Russian collections agent,” and the other person knows immediately who you’re talking about, that’s a win.

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Because I deviated from my routine. I exited the car, hands full of masks, trash, chalk, and yes, my car key. Walking out of the parking garage, I absentmindedly threw all of it into the trash container, which of course was mostly full. Small car key included. Luckily it registered that I had done something forgetful and stupid. (This is not usually the case with me.)I pulled the entire bag out of the can and meticulously went through it, as coworkers drove by, wondering why I was foraging in the trash. Of course I could not find my key. And so, I pulled out the entire bag of trash and brought it inside work. I dumped the bag out and carefully sorted through what can only be described as extremely bad food choices for my coworkers. Time and heat had not improved the remains. Somehow, my small car key had managed to get inside a particularly nasty bag of leftover Taco Bell. Not that I’m a breakfast person, but I found myself mentally scratching off Taco Bell from my list of places to eat – possibly ever.

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Pithy quote for Monday…You’re going to run out of time. Die with memories. Not dreams. A fulfilled life in monochrome surpasses a fantasy in Kodachrome.

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Not my joke, but I love it: I got so fat that people couldn’t even lift me up in prayer.

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I am starting to take these new PPE requirements personally. I can’t quite put my finger on it.

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I have been going to counseling since March. I’m better, thanks. The bad news is that my counselor is now convinced she’s a picnic table.

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At 54, I never thought life would involve so much chalk dust. Also, why can a child carry a bucket of chalk and no one blinks an eye, but an adult with one stick of it looks like a terrorist. 🙂

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I guess I misunderstood what pride month is. Six lions in the breakroom caused a bit of a problem.

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Because he was in a bad mood, he hung a “Please Disturb” sign on the door.

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I think I will be fired for using suggestive language at work. I suggested that my boss take a practice high dive off the nearest cliff.

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I like a good burn when it’s creative:”X, why are you dressed like that?”Me: “Duh. We’re shooting a music video later this morning.” “Well, I can only assume you have the role of ‘A$$hole #1, given that you’ve got the part down solidly already.”I laughed.

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I misunderstood. I’m pretty sure it’s okay to hurl a ball at someone and scream, “Dodgeball!” Even at work, and even if you hit them on the nose.These are the rules of Dodgeball.

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There are two undercurrents of truth in life. One guides us on the surface of the superficial. The other, swirling and contradictory, gives us meaning. Rare among us are those where the two currents are indistinguishable. -x

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Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. But you can bet your ass he had a terrible summer.

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One of the powerful secrets I learned through counseling… this one habit will change your life substantially, and probably forever: don’t be an asshole.

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One of the most astonishing things in life is this: if you really clench your jaw, you hear and feel a rumbling. There’s a physiological reason for this. The surprising thing is how few people know it happens, much in the same way that we forget that we actually ‘see’ our nose 100% of the time.

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Surely, somewhere, there MUST be a werewolf who suffers from male pattern baldness, right?

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I accompanied my friend Susan, who was ordered by the District Court to go to Kleptomaniac Group Therapy. We were going to have coffee, but all the cups were taken.

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Working in healthcare, I decided I would start cleaning myself with an autoclave instead of showering. I didn’t know my voice could go that high.

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My little car has a lot of new technology. Evidently I’m a worse driver than I imagined. My navigation app told me to pull over so it could get out.

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My latest round in the ongoing insult war: “You’re just a mirror away from self-awareness.”

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If a bat started coronavirus, imagine the consequences if someone eats a dingbat.

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“Love Is a Burning Thing.” Please consult your urologist.

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Y’all probably won’t understand how amusing it is to take a can of soda, put it in a paper bag, and sit somewhere in plain sight drinking from it. How long does it take for someone nosey to tell me I can’t drink in public?

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“It is true he was busy moving mountains; unfortunately, he failed to realize that he is his own summit.” – x

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I wonder how y’all do it, the normal people, that delicate and uncertain dance between the sunburst and the thunder. But then I remind myself to look into people’s eyes and behind the layer that we put on, thinking it shields us. I’m not sure this is a status update, but because I’m human, I can’t imagine that other people don’t wonder this sort of thing.

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In honor of today’s dubious Demolition Derby in Springdale, I plan on driving through all my neighbor’s yards at 8 a.m. According to the new rules, I get 12 points for each bird feeder I run over.

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If I say, “I am SO sore from last night’s twerking class,” the proper response isn’t laughter; rather, you should ask, “Oh? As teacher or student?”

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It’s a sign: I invested in myself and now I have buyer’s remorse.

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Because Time Is Short II

“Because time is short” is a phrase that came to me in a song in a dream, one so dense and imaginative that I woke up still hearing the lyrics almost humming in my throat.


I’ve found myself to be using it as a preface in many conversations, especially when I find myself cutting across the normal social conventions that we politely adhere to instead of just stating our truth.

Now that I’ve found that I’m not quite as sane as I previously believed, it helps me to telegraph that I’m not just speaking tritely. Our days are stuffed with enough of that already.


A couple of times, it might have alarmed the other person, as if taken that way, it adds an ominous tone to the message.


Because time is always short; if not for me, then for thee.
*One of my favorite quotes, from “No Country For Old Men”“All the time you spend trying to get back what’s been took from you there’s more going out the door. After a while, you just try and get a tourniquet on it.”

It’s Just Me Here

A picture of me and my brother when I was much younger. And ran all the time.

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The last movie I wrote about was “Nomadland.” I was surprised and glad to see that it won Best Picture at the Oscars, and more so that Frances McDormand won for Best Actress. The number of views for my opinion about the movie climbed since February and then spiked. I’m not a big Oscars fan but sometimes, it seems like they get it right. “Nomadland” left an echo in my heart.

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Saturday night, for reasons unclear to me, I finally had a good night’s sleep. It’s been a long time. Getting back to something normal is one of the main goals of counseling for me. It would otherwise be impossible to be healthy or happy if I can’t sleep. I’ve never been one to need eight hours a night but the cataclysm of my life in the last few months broke my innate ability to stay asleep long enough to feel rested.

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I’m seeing butterflies already. It blows my mind that last week, we had a short snowstorm here on 4/20. The cold snap killed a couple of plants. That’s okay. It is a reminder to not assume that winter’s grasp is out of reach.

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After work, I sat at my desk and watched the cat, watching birds. He would intermittently chirp and comment on the live action outside the window.

Hearing a ruckus outside, I saw that a bluejay was irritated by a squirrel’s presence. The bird was dive-bombing the squirrel, who fell into the birdbath and then attempted a quick exit. It was a Looney Tunes moment.

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Sometimes, the cat will lie on the floor basking in the sun, slowly pawing at the dozens of little rainbows cascaded from the window above.

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Saturday morning, though I was dull and tired from a lack of sleep, I found the answer to a mystery. For reasons unknown, long filament fibers of the sheathing behind the vinyl siding sometimes magically appeared along the ground. Hearing a strange noise, I thought a squirrel might be clambering over the edges. I peeked out. To my surprise, a robin was yanking and pulling the filament several feet from the house. I startled it and it flew off. A few minutes later, it returned. The robins have been using the filament for nesting. I went outside and cut all the long pieces into smaller ones and placed them over the fence for them to easily retrieve. And I’ll do a better job of leaving them material in the future.

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Though the full moon is due tonight, I went out at 3:30 this morning and watched the solar lights, many of which were still blazing. This one is a picture of the moon at the top. The butterfly lights are attached to a long copper pole set into the sunflower bed.

The above lantern is one I bought from Family Dollar for $5. I spray painted it a bright fuchsia color.

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The alley entrance/exit for Mr. Taco Loco on Emma is a lot less glamorous than the front entrance. But it was worth exiting due to the ongoing mural project on the side of the building on the corner of Main and Emma. It’s worth looking at.

The picture below is taken in front of the wall that is becoming one of Downtown Springdale’s many beautiful murals:

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If you want to see a startling and striking mural, drive by the corner of Allen Street and Holcomb in Springdale. It’s a work in progress. I didn’t take any pictures. You can’t miss it. If only the entire world were painting so vibrantly and with such creativity!

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Not noteworthy, but I bought a nice thermal carafe coffee pot from Walmart. Long story short, it had been put back on the shelf used. There was still water in the carafe in the box.

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I’d heard the song before, but didn’t even connect it to the fact that thousands of TikTok videos sampled it for content (Masked Wolf – Astronaut In The Ocean) )

It’s not the typical song I might like. But I do. When I discovered what it meant to the artist, I liked it even more. You can read his take on it in the comments on YouTube.

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One for those who love Spanish music, another one I discovered only because I’m incrementally reconnecting to the bilingual who thrives inside me (Sabastian Yatra – Como Mirarte):

A bonus Spanish song you’ll recognize (Te Amaré por Mil Años · Coro Iglesia Luz Divina):

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I forgot how useful the website Wordhippo is, especially in regard to the interface. https://www.wordhippo.com/

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At work today, someone who underwent bariatric surgery last year stopped me and asked all the questions you’d expect. He lost a lot of weight. He’s doing well but experiencing a climb in his weight. His life is much more complex than mine, though. We shared a barrage of highs and lows. He was intrigued by my hyper-simplistic approach, especially since I have no structure or exercise system.

A Touch Of Color And Beauty

Because I’ve been experimenting with prisms, solar lights, and other things, I found these infinity firework bulbs. Simply put, they are beautiful. If you like vivid colors that catch the eye, these LED lights might be worth a look. This one fits a standard bulb socket.

If you search for ‘firework bulbs’ on Amazon, you’ll get a good idea of the variety available. You can also find a huge variety of unobtrusive lamp bases, or make one yourself using a kit.

Language Belongs To All Of Us

“If we have to guess or spell words phonetically in order to be able to say them properly, why don’t we just change the spelling to be phonetic in the first place?”

I’m a better-than-average speller, but I despise the way our language makes people uncomfortable when using it. Most peoole use only 800 or so distinct words in a day. And most communication is verbal. One of my biggest pleasures is trashing the expectations of those who disagree. We all abuse the language in our own way. It belongs to all of us, to use and misuse as we wish.

Earlier, I witnessed a needless haranguing over language. I intervened jokingly. The self-appointed expert asked me something to exert dominance. I replied in Spanish. “I wasn’t talking in Spanish and I don’t understand it.” I laughed. “No, but he does, so who is the asshole now?”

I intended to write more, but I slipped and fell off my soapbox.

A Day’s Bite

It’s almost time for Springdale’s Demolition Derby. I know I comment or joke about it each year. This year, I emailed all the government officials and asked why we couldn’t simply use ALL of Springdale and its roads to have the derby, instead of confining it to Parsons Stadium. I’m not sure many of us would even notice the difference.

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Here, the entire room is awash in rainbows from a single prism, hundreds of them. On the floor, in long swaths across the walls, and everywhere. I can’t tell if the universe is taunting me or reminding me. The above picture is a small section of the floor by my desk.

At the store, I encountered someone who was taken aback by how much of me was missing. It probably seemed more intense, given that I shaved too much the other day. He told me that his wife was still unwell, which saddened me a bit. His son kept us entertained by his constant demands for attention and insistence on scoring an animal from the bin with the impossible claw machine. I didn’t have any cash; otherwise, I would have supplied him with one hundred chances to beat the machine.

Doing the self-assessments online yielded some surprises. I’m not sure why I would be surprised. To be so actualized in some respects, and afloat in others!

The picture below was on the front page of Reddit today.