Lose Weight By Reading This in Chinese

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I’ve been asked more than once why I didn’t do more “Handmaid’s Tale” pictures. The answer is that I have done more and they are in all the corners of the internet.

For those unlucky citizens who haven’t watched this masterpiece TV show on Hulu, perhaps the depth of the joke is lost to you.

This particular picture ties several elements together – and answers the burning question, “Can you describe in a simple picture what it feels like some days to watch as DJ Trump, aka 45, speaks in public?”

Otherwise, you can look at this picture and see just how far this weight loss thing has taken me in the last couple of months.

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Social Engineering Idea #7. If a police officer is about to give you a ticket, he should give you a choice between paying the ticket or letting him go live on social media and then smacking you in the face with a cream pie. Some people would speed just to get caught, that’s true, but at least we’d have a great story to share. (Cake shops could do free sponsorships, too.)

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We should have known things were a mess when the military band changed the song to “Hell To The Chief.”

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Trump’s remarks last night were a reminder to us all why meth is such a real problem in society.

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Note to self: cooking prowess possibly over-rated if both wife and cat hurl during the same night.

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Garth Brooks has certainly changed his look and sound. His new CD of cover songs surprised me, especially his new version of, “Two Of a Kind, Twerkin’ On a Full House.”

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After winning last night, Bret Bielema went home and wrote in his personal diary: “Can you believe they are still paying me $11,000 a DAY for this?”

The Florida A&M coach makes around $200,000, about 16 times less than Bielema.

Someone put the ‘high’ in higher education, that’s for sure.

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To the pilot & 7 other jumpers, please accept my apology. When I was invited I thought he said “Parashooting.”

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“I wasn’t mumbling – I was speaking in cursive.”

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You know you’ve made a bad decision when your imaginary life narrator says “This is going to be good!” in a resigned tone of voice.

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“I’ve eaten so many vegetables lately that when I asked the DJ to play an artist, I accidentally told him, Elvis Parsley.”

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4 thoughts on “Lose Weight By Reading This in Chinese”

  1. The pressure is on. I ordered your book on Amazon. If it doesn’t make me thinner, happier, or smarter, I’m going to be the same person. 🙂

    Like

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