Your Monday options: will you be Malachi or Isaac today? Regardless of where you work, I suspect you might think you too are in a dangerous cult, led by madmen.
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Do you call them “buffet pants” or “comfy pants?” Or “fat pants?”
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“Forever Box” is my new favorite word for coffin.
And people say I can’t learn anything from the internet.
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Last night at supper, I inevitably did my artwork with index cards, markers, and the tools around me. Thus was born “Shredded Cheddar President.”
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Box fan from home.
Check.
Full set of pillows from home.
Check.
Two individual comforters from home.
Check.
I pity everyone else in the hotel.
Savages!
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According to my manager, I should not refer to my workplace as “The Badlands.”
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*Content warning: I love mocking positivity memes and clichés. My version expresses a greater truth, one rarely voiced by our great poets, yet still affecting us all.
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Last week, my friend Josh invited me to his church. “It’s right up your alley, X. We do things differently.”
At 10:05, I entered a bit late. Josh was already seated up front. I nervously walked past all the congregants. An unusual, high-pitched sound filled the air. I was too distracted by my lateness to figure out what was afoot.
I sat next to Josh on the second row. “Sorry I’m late,” I whispered.
I soon figured out what the noise was when I entered.
The pastor looked across the pews and said, “If everyone will get out their Humnals, we’ll hum #456.”
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“The more violent the sport, the sexier that those on the sidelines dress. Which means politicians should be wearing negligees.” – X
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P.S. Parenthetically Speaking 