…Time for a short survey question…

I love a great insult, even when it’s thrown in my face. I’ll steal it, no matter how much it burns. People think I’m joking when I say, “Just be creative. Boring insults are the worst!”

Because I had it used on me, I can attest to how much it initially caught me off guard but resulted in a nod of admiration. I’ve used it selectively a few times in the last few years, and always with excellent results. (If by ‘excellent,’ you mean “made the other guy furious.”)

Here it is, although it is a bit NSFW:

“I’m doing a survey of men who’ve never pleasured a woman sexually. Everyone told me that you’d be the perfect candidate to answer some questions about this.”


*


When my brother and I talked casually again for a few months, I used this one him in the game of “You Can’t Make Me Laugh.” He laughed. I told him that if he got bored, he could get a lab coat and clipboard and stand by the automatic doors of any supermarket and randomly ask men entering the store this question. The mental image of it never fails to amuse.

P.S. You can modify it as needed for a particular occasion. I don’t recommend it if you’re in a karate studio or at anger management class.

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