“You are a villain in someone else’s story.“
I’ve written about this before.
It is an uncomfortable truth.
The realization hurts worse when you understand that you had to be made into one for the other person to get to a narrative he or she can live with. I think we are all guilty of this in some form.
It’s a rare thing for people to look at one another, nod in acknowledgment, and go on with their lives. We are wired to evaluate, judge, and appraise.
None of us like to imagine we acted badly. Sometimes, we have. And sometimes, not that often, we are outmatched by a superior intellect or a harder heart, both of which contribute to the likelihood that you’re going to be the rapacious villain when the words “The End” appear.
It will burn your heart and sense of fairness to be at the epicenter of such attention. Flailing won’t help – and neither will rebuke.
Sometimes, we’ve been assigned motives that don’t reflect what is in our head or heart. People need those motives to protect themselves from introspection or scrutiny.
It’s okay that it’s that way.
It is possible to act with the purest form of love and still stumble so badly that someone labels you as the villain.
It’s hard to change that label because so often there is no observable trail, no defense to be made, and no fair reckoning of facts or forces.
Yes, even in love, especially so; if vulnerability is invoked, it amplifies the rawness and center of people.
Consequences often overshadow intentions.
There are times when there is no real lesson, no moment of clarity or closure.
Only of acceptance.
Anthony Marra said it well: “You remain the hero of your own story even when you become the villain of someone else’s.”
Yesterday, I reached my moment of clarity and gave myself closure. In so doing, I ruptured some unseen line of acceptance. And I realized that the villain was me.
And I accept that, even though the label fails to align with the truth of my life. But such statements are given to an audience of no one. Fighting your labels is seldom rewarded.
I want everyone to be fulfilled and happy and to have people in their lives who love and appreciate them.
I say none of these words as villainous. But perception and personal filters assign motive for anyone reading this.
I had nothing but love in my heart.
I hope we all find our way back to it.
All of us.