Signed, The Dork

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I now understand what Steven Wright meant when he said, “I’m addicted to placebos.”

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True / Dumb Words:”Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.”

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“It can’t be so simple.””What if it is?” – Six Feet Under

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As I turned from the frontage road near the interstate and careened through the roundabout, I saw two small dogs scampering across the road on the expansive asphalt. I then realized it was two very small foxes, scampering. The lead fox had a varmint of some kind clutched between its jaws. As they hit the middle of the parking lot, the lead fox slammed the varmint to the ground. Since there was zero traffic, I stopped and watched as the two foxes danced around their breakfast. I’m not sure why there are so many foxes this year. Their sporadic appearance always brightens my morning. -March 31st

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I’ve had a run of bad luck my whole life. Even my Mom evicted me after nine months.

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I need some new podcasts to not listen to.

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It’s not working! The therapist recommended I go somewhere relaxing and meditative; perhaps go watch the tide for awhile. I’m feeling nothing here. \●/

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My therapist told me to do something memorable to start the day. I guess my “Cymbal Crash In The Morning” idea needs a bit of work. Almost no one reacted joyously. But Jim did throw his coffee cup 34 feet.

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Life can be majestic; I woke up, my face covered in slobber. My beard was so soaked that I started to look around for the German Shepherd that must have been in the room last night, licking my face.

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These last 34 minutes were the best 15-minute break I’ve ever had!*

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