You Can’t Candle The Truth

My friend and co-conspirator Jessica bought me an apartment-warming candle as a gift. Technically, if you lit and forgot about it, it would definitely warm the entire building, one way or another.

There’s a lot of subtext here:
Do I smell and need a fancy candle?
Do I have a lot of friends who’d do meth?
At someone else’s house?
If so, would they interpret the rule to mean anywhere but the bathroom?
Does this apartment send the message that meth might be considered an option here?
Is that Walter White’s doppelganger living in #15?

The candle does NOT smell like meth.
I’ve smelled meth, both cooking and consumed.
No, I’ve never done meth. Or math.
The jar indicates “50 hour burn,” which is exactly what __________________.
(I left the joke blank because it is amusing, snarky, and suggestive.)
Cassis is not a berry, as many would suppose; it’s toejam.

Quote: “You can’t candle the truth!”

PS: This post isn’t 100% accurate.

Thanks for the surprise!

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