Catch Up!

I’ve been working on my new album. I have to finish it before Adele drops hers. Live focus groups, however, have been giving me mixed critiques!

My latest painted rock. Would it be funny to conspicuously place this at the local convenience store gas pumps?

“Trivial Pursuit” would be an ideal and sarcastic name for my autobiography. And each chapter should start with a question; by the end of the book, you could calculate your correct guesses. .

Fayetteville is getting a little out of hand with these personalized signs. I noticed this one on my early morning walk today.
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My counselor said, “If you don’t like having a mortgage, then you have an Apartment Complex.”

In this modern world, the best enemies are the Amish, because they’ll never see you talking smack about them on the internet.

My application for entry into the Seminary was rejected. One of the questions asked was, “Give an example of how the Church might save a lot of money.” I answered, “If you’d bless the water filter, you could make a lot more holy water with each blessing.”

My neighbor told me he couldn’t figure out why people stopped honking at him while he drove. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d placed a “Student Driver” sticker on his bumper.

Note: the spelling error is intentional on the above picture!

Microsoft now offers bedding. I went online to the Microsoft Store and bought myself a set of nice Excel spreadsheets for $20.

Therapy With Humor

When I arrived at the counselor’s office, I texted her in Spanish: “I’ve arrived. I hope the clown suit doesn’t bother you.” (She’s learned a decent amount of Spanish) I don’t think she would have been surprised if I had a clown suit on.

I drew a picture of my money.

I won’t inundate your feed with too many pictures of my cat Güino. However, people ask, “What’s with his name?” When he came home from the Springdale Animal Shelter in 2008, he was VERY young. When I visited him at the shelter, all he did was make this strange cry. It sounded like a penguin! Since I love Spanish, I shortened the word “pingüino” to “Güino.” It’s also fun to use a name with an umlaut in it. It’s pronounced “Gwee-no.” .

My counselor said, “If you don’t like having a mortgage, then you have an Apartment Complex.”