I went to the grocery store after work. Yes, despite the glamour of my storytelling, I sometimes visit one. I do like some aspects of Walmart+ and delivery but there are times when going inside yields interesting interactions. I had my fill of Walmart yesterday, after having to go there for cheesecakes. Whole Foods dropped the ball in that department. Cheesecake is no laughing matter, as the Great Cheesecake Skirmish of 2016 proves.
Today, I shopped and then realized I left my wallet in the car. That led me to entertain the Salvation Army greeter twice before entering the store.
Before I got there, though, I was turning right. The car in front of me zipped away incredibly fast. I looked – no traffic turning toward me. As I turned, a truck came around through the yellow light going really fast. As expected, a horn blared at me, loud and long, like a mother-in-law complaining about the gravy. I turned into the grocery store parking lot. The truck was turning there, too, but was detained by oncoming traffic. As I exited my car, I noted that the truck was pulling into a nearby spot.
Before I thought about it too much, I approached the older man and said, “Hello, sorry about not seeing you coming from the other direction. If you’d hit me, I’d have done at least $4 damage to your truck with my little car.”
I pointed toward my car as I spoke.
He laughed. “I was a little enthusiastic with the horn! Sorry about that.”
“No need to be sorry. You could do it in Morse code next time, though, to confuse everyone who wasn’t in the Navy or has a ham operator license.” I grinned.
He laughed again. That was two laughs in ten seconds.
“Do you like that car?” He said. “It seems small.”
“Yes, I do like it, and especially the $150 payments. And it is so small that I have to get out just to change my mind.”
That brought out the third laugh from him. “I needed a laugh! This morning was the worst.”
Because I had to go for laugh number four: “The worst? The worst is realizing that it’s your wife’s birthday at 9:02 p.m.”
He did laugh. “Have a good day,” he said as he walked toward the store.
“Honk if you need me,” I quipped as a parting shot. He grinned and shook his head.
To the rest of you, honk if you need me. You’ll know it’s me when you see the weirdest sky blue Spark with a front license plate that reads “Divine” on it.
If you do honk, could you do it in Morse code? Thanks!
P.S. I added the chicken for extra protein.