Listen, if you come into my apartment, you’re going to need to pay attention. I have so many little goofy things and pranks laying about.

This morning, as the landlord and I carried my new water heater up the steps, he came inside and was pleased that I’d contained the leaking water heater.

As he left, he looked at my doorknob and smiled. He didn’t say anything, but he shook his head.

On the inside of the doorknob, I’d left a pair of panties hanging there, like a perverted Xmas remnant. Don’t worry, Susan never even knew they were missing. Who is Susan? I have no idea, either.

I hope she’s not cold, though, whoever she is!

And these moments are what make life so damned fun.

Love, X
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“It’s better to give than receive.” I’m not sure my downstairs neighbor agrees. It turns out that my water heater was giving the floor a constant drip of water, saturating the ceiling below until it gave way. That was a small part of my Xmas day, constantly emptying the little container that would fit between my water heater and the board in front of it. PS I am SO grateful that I waited for an upstairs apartment.