Because I got up even earlier than should be possible, I walked the dead man hill route and cut south. When I made it to North Street, the number of young people out around 1:30 was ridiculous. 

By the time I looped back around and walked a short stretch of Leverett, three different cars had driven by with young men screaming from the windows in an attempt to startle me. It happens a lot. I wish I could tell all these young guys who have obviously been drinking that riding around with the back passenger window open while wearing a backward baseball cap is tantamount to catnip for police. 

After I turned on Leverett again, a little white Hondaesque car drove by me slowly. Can you guess? Yet another inebriated young guy leaned out the window and screamed. “Wooooo!”

Even though I was expecting it, I jumped and laughed. The young guy leaned further out the window and waved, laughing. 

The car turned on the very next left onto Hazel Street. It’s very close to Leverett. For no reason at all, I walked around the same corner.  The Hondaesque car had stopped at the intersection of Hazel and Storer. The brake lights were lit, so I knew somebody was in the car. 

I’m pretty sure one of the occupants was either stopping to confirm his membership in the chess club or securing more alcohol. I’ll let you decide which is more likely.

It was at that moment that I realized that Bobby Dean was calling. I walked quickly across the grass and against the trees just in case one of the car’s occupants might see me. When I was about ten feet away, I darted over to the passenger side. Keep in mind it’s about 2:00 a.m.

At the top of my lungs (two feet from the car), I screamed: “WHAT’S UP C*******ERS!” 

(You have to use the terminology that young university men are prone to use, not to mention a nod to my dad.)

It turns out that two of the occupants had exited the vehicle when they arrived. Both passengers in the back seat screamed like elementary school girls. 

It was as if they moved in slow motion as they overreacted. It didn’t occur to me to run off. 

Both of the young guys fortunately thought it was hilarious. 

“Be safe and watch out for the Watermelon Man,” I said before walking away, still grinning like an idiot. 

PS The Watermelon Man is a fable invented by my dad, Bobby Dean. He’s always out at night and you never see him coming until he wants you to. 

.*The picture is of beautiful new buildings recently constructed on the corner of Sycamore and Leverett. I had what should have been beautiful shots of the university skyline, but both turned out to be Mr. McGoo shots.