I went to Popeye’s and asked for a couple of chicken legs. They still got the order wrong.

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I received a heart-warming letter from one of the neighbors. “Cease and Desist” is a great way to let me know someone is thinking about me.

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I found the best store ever. I can’t go back, though, because I noticed
they have a strict ‘no returns’ policy on the door.

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A friend of mine posted the phrase as a potentially new way to say “Goodbye!” in a cool way. I added her picture to give it some punch.

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I paid my restaurant check with a counterfeit bill. It seemed appropriate, as I’m pretty sure they didn’t serve me real food.

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Currently trying to convince a friend of mine, one with “Moore” as a surname , to change his first name to “Dinty.” No word yet on how successful I’ve been.

After posting this picture to social media, despite having a robust method to avoid them, Dinty Moore ads began littering my social media feed.

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The irony of seeing a “Don’t text and drive” decal in the back window of a pickup truck pulled over for DWI warmed my heart.
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(In the driver’s defense, as a Ford owner, I have to testify that owning one drives one to drink – or want to.)

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I bought a phone plan with unlimited minutes under the assumption I could live forever.

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