I’m going to celebrate an unusual life event…

I’ve been in this apartment for over a month.

Sadly, my first roll of toilet paper expired yesterday morning.
RIP, Roy.

I snapped a picture of the deceased roll yesterday.

In a cosmic coincidence, an Amazon driver just dropped off a relevant surprise gift from someone about ten minutes ago: a toilet timer!

I’m laughing.

I was going to coin a toilet paper joke, but they are all tearable.