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I didn’t make this; I modified it, but I love the plot twist of the sentiment. I say the first part often – but love the alternate sentiment, too. It’s like an Angry Hallmark card. (Patent Pending)

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I got a Covid booster shot yesterday. My arm feels like I had a punching contest with Joe Buss. (For those who don’t know him, imagine the Incredible Hulk except with a bad haircut.) Flu shots start Monday. I think I need to schedule an acupuncture appointment for Tuesday or possibly a 12″x12″ tattoo. I’d hate to forget the pleasure of needles.

P.S. Using dumbbells evidently gives me the reminder I need.

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I burned my feet making breakfast…
in the toester.

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When you need someone to do something really bad, wouldn’t you go to Rent-A-Sinner?

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Trying to decide if the surgeon would like to be pranked and scared by me jumping out from behind the door. If I do it, he might opt to remove my staples with a paper stapler remover.

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I got the Arkansas Guide To Nature: Senior Edition today in the mail. Recommendation: “Look out the window and don’t be stupid. Nature’s not for you.”

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Ridiculous But Logical HumorA single friend of mine told me he was having difficulty meeting single women. I explained to him that my law of simplicity offered a very clear and easy resolution to his problem. All he needs to do is to find an attractive woman who is walking with her significant other. And run said significant other over with his vehicle. The lady in question by definition is therefore immediately single. I’m not sure how elegant my solution is but it is absurdly logical.

You’re welcome, X

PS this is the kind of humor you get after you hope and pray that I survive emergency surgery. Just sayin’.

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This is for Maeghan, who should see an example of what words can convey and the model of what a good life can look like…

She paused to watch her children laughing. They are scattered around the kitchen table, each of them excitedly attempting to interject a bit of wit or insult to their siblings. Knowing they are together in a house she bought with her husband fills her with love and pride. She and Luis will soon celebrate their anniversary on Sept. 21st. Luis gives her passion, humor, and a face that should have been in a Boy Band.

She thinks about the four F’s: family, finances, faith, and fulfillment. After so many years of scratching from humble beginnings, she tries to remind herself of the gratitude that motivates her each day.

For the first time in her adult life, she can define all four by simply looking at the table full of children.

Education, house, career – all those things are essential. And each of them brings challenges. With the help of family who loves her and friends who laughingly support her, she incrementally finds a way to realize her goals. Like so many, her goals morphed and changed as she did.

Because her new career not only helps feed her children and her dreams, she realizes that helping people find homes in which to enjoy their lives might probably be the best job to have in the world.

She sat a minute longer, lingering with a faint smile on her face. When her journey started, she had no conception of fulfillment; this embodies it. Though she stood up from the couch with her head filled with to-dos for work, she realized that it wasn’t work at all. Few people have a life that they could happily call their own. It takes hard work and missteps, both in equal measure, to get where she is.

Most importantly, she now knows that everything that fills her to brim with love and kindness isn’t a ‘thing’ at all. She hopes that every house she sells will be home to a family like hers.

Amor + Work = Success

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Today, at 2:40 p.m., a drunk driver slammed into the Razorback Malco theater. It was a box office smash.

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