All posts by X Teri

Blessed Be The Fruit

Blessed Be The Fruit

People are discussing the complexity of the human capacity for collective evil. Whether one section of the population likes to acknowledge it or not, Germany’s example constantly pops up.

How can so many people stand by and watch the country descend into madness?

The best way to visualize this capacity is to watch the movie The Stanford Experiment. If you’re even slightly interested in the psychology of collective misbehavior, this is the easiest shortcut to benchmark how things go astray so deeply, even with intelligent and otherwise kind people.

The same effect applies to police, the military, or even people making decisions in business.

Anyone who’s never experienced the environment of a production line might not understand it. Each employee is present to earn a living and mostly do a good job. Those who own the production line want to profit while providing a living for those who work there. An interesting thing often happens, especially in poultry and similar industries.

The need for profit puts those in charge of the environment, the efficiency, and the speed of the production line often blurs the line of humanity by increasing the demands on those working it. It becomes hard to perform the job safely over time. People suffer the indignity of sometimes being able to exit the line long enough to take care of their basic bodily needs. For some, it becomes easier to dehumanize those who perform the jobs in order to be profitable and efficient.

The above can’t be explained to someone who hasn’t experienced it.

The same effect applies throughout our society. We justify less than a living wage, even though we know these jobs are necessary and that our collective decision to fail to pay sufficiently to live even a basic life is causing misery. All of this is based on economic concerns rather than the primary focus of human happiness and dignity. It is a them problem rather than an us problem.

We don’t provide universal health insurance, even though doing so would cost less than our current system. But this does not stop us from passively watching as millions of people suffer from a lack of health care or go bankrupt.

We put on our hats of authority and often forget the results of callousness. It’s our job, we think. Society apparently wants it to be that way, or we would have intervened to change it. We make decisions without consideration for how they impact people, or we are put in a position to be powerless to change things.

We marginalize certain groups. Over time, this gives us a silent yet undeniable tendency to view others as lesser. This justifies our collective behavior that often results in denigration or harm to the people in those groups.

My upbringing gave me an unholy understanding of the possibility of violence inside people. Even the pious in my family found ways to justify turning a blind eye toward what can only be called evil. Family who could observe a child being hurt and find ways in their minds, especially based on the societal norms around them, to fail to act to protect them, were they evil? Or were they just the product of their environment? Several of them held dear their holy books – and did not react well when I grew up and became confrontational about the disparity between their alleged message of love and kindness. That message had justified their deliberate choice to do nothing.

People in history are no different from us, even if we want to think they were. This gives us a pass and carte blanche to continue to behave inhumanely, even if we are technically just doing our job or fulfilling our role as citizens.

Love, X

Dear Us

*Yes, I know that “goodbye” is misspelled.

I’m not Chicken Little, nor am I crying wolf. The wolf that some of you chose has eaten the chicken and now sits in our living room.

You’re wasting time focusing on daily firings, closings, and executive orders. One of his latest orders indicating that he and the attorney general are the sole arbiters of the law and its application needs no further examination to see how dangerous he is to the concept of democracy and governance.

He and his people have said the goal out loud – and I don’t understand why you’re not acknowledging it.

The federal government is being systematically dismantled.

What will take its place?

Several labels are applicable. Each with Trump in charge, absent accountability, court review, or congressional oversight. This sort of governance is never benign, nor is it accountable to or concerned with the will of its populace. 

Your right to religious freedom will be upheld only if it aligns with the predominant one – and only if it’s convenient. They’ve repeatedly told us that the government must be deleted and replaced with political religion. (Their description – not mine.) 

Civil rights? Gone. Workplace rights:? Vanished. Freedom of Speech? Eliminated. 

You don’t have to guess whether I’m right. Our closest allies are saying it unilaterally. I consume a mountain of foreign news. Every country which  stood with us is ringing the bell of alarm. 

All the people driving these changes are saying it out loud. 

It can happen here. And it is. 

There will be no safeguards, protections, or system to stop him.

The only solution is to do as much as possible to remove Trump from office by any legal means available. Sometime in the future, a warning post like this will be deemed treasonous, even though my intent is to preserve our democracy, as flawed as it may be. 

Anything short of legally removing him from office is a waste of time and effort. Even his removal will inevitably result in a rift that might still break our union. Continuing on this current path certainly will. 

I held out judgment. Not long ago, it crystallized. 

Courts can’t stop him. Congress won’t. 

The Presidency isn’t about one man. 

It’s about our collective system of laws. They mean nothing with someone like Trump in charge. 

Those who support him will read this and think I’ve lost my mind. That’s expected. They mostly ingest the superficial explanation for what’s happening. The rest do like most of us and ignore politics. 

I am not reading between the lines. His people have said the quiet part out loud, and the incremental dissolution of our federal government as we know it can only be explained through the alignment of their stated goals and the daily reality of what is happening.

When our democracy fails, I will fall silent, as people must do once safeguards and the checks and balances of presidential power have fallen. 

I’ll be the obedient and angry citizen of whatever comes next. 

It’s almost over.

X

Lost

It is the office itself that yields the honor and respect, rather than the person temporarily assuming its duties.

The expectation of someone behaving in a presidential manner is one that’s been shattered. For some, this is a welcome change. For others, it’s a chaotic and devastating reality.

We have demonstratively proven that anyone can become president. 

Growing up most of us were superficially exposed to the civil war. Almost all we learned was of dates and places and broad themes. We did not then viscerally understand how a nation could become so irreparably shattered. 

We go about our lives because that’s what we can do. 

Regardless of your political affiliation, those of us paying attention now unfortunately feel it in our bones. Whether you’re excited about the upheaval recently brought to Washington or you’re onvinced that our government is in jeopardy, I don’t think people will generally deny that this is something much different.

We are united on paper much in the same way that Jefferson’s hollow words about all men being equal applied only to white wealthy men. 

The intelligent people I trust are saying the same thing. Countries who were once allies are unilaterally warning one another and the world. People have shouted that the sky is falling and cried wolf before. It feels different this time because it is. 

This isn’t Clinton refusing to resign even though he should have. Or Bush demonstrating incompetence. 

I will be surprised if the end of February has not brought us to cataclysm. 

People need stability, as does the economy, and society in general. 

The struggle through the generations to create a reality in which all people, regardless of belief, religion, skin color, or their sexual identity could coexist in peace now resembles a dystopian fantasy. 

Power and progress are both unstable. The problem with authority and authoritarianism is that they both fall into chaos. 

Chaos is inevitable. Entropy governs the universe. 

Those who currently seek to redefine America will learn the lesson. 

X

Pranks

“Every book is a mystery novel if you tear out the last 15 pages before reading it.”

My dad loved doing this to people. Imagine reading 245 pages only to discover that the last chapter is gone. Mom wanted to murder him more than once. Uncle Buck laughed about it after the fact. Mr. Dunivan, dad’s boss and cousin by marriage? He was the perfect victim for Dad. I don’t remember all the details, but Dad put a dirty magazine right on the dashboard of Mr. Dunivan’s car more than once. Or on his office desk. Mr. Dunivan’s mom initially had a conniption fit about it, but after discovering that Dad pulled the prank, she laughed like she was dying. Due to that prank, I realized you could LEAVE any magazine or book you wanted in a doctor’s office, friend’s house, etc. This realization made for some inexpensive fun for me as I got older.

Years ago, I used to keep my mom supplied with books, music, and movies. Even though I did it by accident, the final few minutes of the film Seven were missing from the end of one of the VCR tapes I’d sent her. Initially, she was convinced I did it on purpose – and pissed. Given its “head in the box” gut-wrenching ending, it was quite the coincidence that Seven was the particular movie in question. I re-taped it and sent it to her. It was a joy to mess with her sometimes. Putting the craziest random movies on tapes, inserting a death metal song into a collection of class country songs, or adding screams at maximum volume when she least expected it.

When MP3s became popular, it was easier than ever to prank people with wild, unexpected audio files in the middle of their gifted CDs. One of my victims rolled into the Silver Dollar City parking lot, blaring one of my mix CDs. I had inserted the Cheech Marin dialogue from “From Dusk ’til Dawn.” (The one where he is selling something I can’t mention here.)

I sometimes reminisce about pranks that I witnessed. I hated so much about my Dad, but I loved the fact that he could audaciously pull off some of the most outrageous pranks, ones that you couldn’t be certain might result in a heart attack, mandatory anger management enrollment, or (hopefully) small explosions.

One way I know I’m not my usual self is that I lose interest in spontaneous shenanigans. It’s a tell-tale sign for me.

The prank is on us, though.

You got up this morning, assuming you’d pass through the day to its completion.

To know the ending of these cold hours in front of us.

It’s not true, though.

Some of us have our final pages ripped out. We just don’t know it yet.

Love, X
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PS The picture is one of my parents after they remarried. Dad died nine months after they remarried. Shockingly, Mom was not the cause of his demise.
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To Be An Ass

If you need proof that sometimes I’m an ass..

I waited patiently at the counter of the inconvenience store. Not only is it perennially short staffed, but it was shortly after the expected shift change. I waited two to three minutes for the clerk to do her thing.

A woman came in behind me. I could hear her stamping her foot and muttering under her breath. “Geez, take your time buddy.” That’s not all she said. But you get the idea.

I turned politely and said,”I apologize for the wait. It’s shift change.” I smiled and nodded. The look on her face could best be described as a hybrid between spoiled milk and what a fart would look like if it took human form.

She rolled her eyes and ignored me.

To my delight, it took the clerk another two minutes to finish. The clerk exchanged a commiserating glance with me at the other customer’s behavior. The staccato click of the woman’s feet tapping the floor sounded like a drummer who took too much ephedrine.

I’m fairly quick on the draw. But giving me even a minute to plot my verbal revenge?

When I was done, I thanked the clerk and told her it was no imposition at all for her to have taken a bit to get her day started.

The woman behind me flung her items on the counter as if she had been attacked by wild bees.

“Hey, Karen, I hope you have the day you deserve,” I told her as she briefly made eye contact.

I heard the gears grind in her head as she attempted to understand exactly how I had had insulted her.

The clerk burst out laughing before she could stop herself.

Because I was already in an altered mood, I bowed slightly and made my exit.

I hope Karen does have the day she deserves.

X
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Valid

40% of the world’s global military spending is from the United States. I’ll let these musical legends recap. It’s from a sit-down decades ago.

I’m as liberal as they come. Using every other modern nations metrics, it’s financially obvious that our level of military spending is not reasonable. I of course reject unilaterally the accusation that questioning the disproportionate spending for military efforts is unpatriotic.

For all the gnashing of teeth and pain that the current administration is causing regular people, it’s obvious you focus on the 40% of the budget and not the 1%.

Of what purpose is a defense against the world if the people within the country aren’t the priority

X
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Holy Snarl

It is strange for me to write about the reactionary shock some believers experience in the face of this emergent and vitriolic version of belief. I wrote this song from the perspective of someone I trust to have a grasp of what religion is supposed to do to their lives. The song wails into the octaves instead of screaming, followed by a descent into acceptance, as they are surrounded by people who’ve twisted the message into something unrecognizable.

“Angry Snarl”

though they can’t spell the word sanctimonious

you smell it from a mile away

uninformed but seemingly never silent

they poison our world with certainty

you can’t reason with people like this

their ears are closed with heavenly glue

they have just one book to ban all the others

and it never means the same thing twice

they never hesitate to offer a judgmental opinion

as if we haven’t watched them go astray

they speak of god with angry lips

where mercy lies in a forgotten ditch

(chorus)

you can’t reason with people like this

yet you persist in measured reason

knowing it’s all in vain

they have the only answer to give

and that’s their only refrain

they speak of god with angry lips

wondering why we don’t feel safe

an afterlife of condemnation

is no way to live

Love, X

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Social Security

PSA

The Social Security income threshold is about $176,000. In simpler terms, no income above this amount is subject to Social Security taxes. Anyone fretting about the future of available funds should take note of the billions of dollars we could raise by removing the cap entirely. That there is a threshold cap is one of those things that most people paying into Social Security don’t know about. For most of the people I know, this means you’re paying 6.2% of your total income, compared to those who make a staggering amount more. You’re paying 6.2% of every dollar you earn while the wealthier contributors are not. And of course since I recognize that no system is without complexity, there are issues inherent in raising the threshold. {Such as dropping the additional burden on the employer.} I have this weird feeling that if the average person had this explained to them one on one, their attitudes about the lack of equity regarding Social Security pay-ins would be quite different.

X

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Dearly Beloved

This song is about Prince. It’s also about the importance of having people in your life who love or respect you enough to stand up and tell you to knock it off.

Love, X
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Dearly Beloved

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life

Even the prince of music faltered
It started with pain from performance
And ended as it must, even for a music god

He had countless friends and managers
All were sideliners to his downfall

Why didn’t they stop him people might ask
Maybe they did in a private space

But you have to ask yourself
How often has a friend stopped you
Would you listen if they did?

We fool ourselves into superiority
That won’t happen to us
We are made from exotic dust

This is what it sounds like when doves don’t cry

But if he couldn’t do it
You better find your purple banana

He was a man of 1 million melodies
but never wrote his swan song

You or someone around you right now
Fails to appreciate the danger

He had it wrong about the Grim Reaper
The reaper fails to respect who you are

Why don’t we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like when doves don’t cry
It is silence when an objection is needed

If you know what I’m singing about up here,
come on and raise your hand

Don’t let down your guard
even if you sing like a dirty angel

This is what it sounds like when doves don’t cry

If Or Why (Original Songs)

I don’t expect people to take the time to listen or absorb the message. Whether other people think so or not, some of the lyrics are insightful. The female voice version seemed to have an unpleasant tone, even though it resonated with me, and I worked diligently until I achieved that sound.

I don’t create things with the exclusive motive of it being liked. If I had that fear, I would do what most people would and fail to summon magical words from the air.

I have three versions of this song.

Here are the lyrics:

the January sun shone on your hair
your shirt clung to you like a glove
I held my breath for a fleeting moment
as I watched you walk toward me

I knew your mind was elsewhere
I waited for our eyes to meet
A smile, a glance, flickering enthusiasm
The reciprocal charm of being waited for

I couldn’t do what came to mind
I couldn’t say the things in my heart
I swallowed down the hungry tingle
and instead urgently looked away

When you feel like you’ve been hungry
The difficulty lies in thinking straight
You don’t buy a house just for the kitchen
But try living there without one

The gradual wither of my affection
Leaves me a little shredded and uncertain
I can’t find the words to explain the color blue
When you don’t see the things that I see as true

Beauty truly lies in the eye of the beholder
its value diminishes when someone grows colder
Confidence and esteem have their place
Yet it’s a tango, a duet, and a mutual dance

One person’s truth is another’s lie
It’s easy to forget that it takes two
Both being nurtured, seen, and felt

One person’s truth is another’s lie
And I can’t find the words to tell you why
I crave a life filled with overflowing
Freely shared and effortlessly showing

Dancing alone just isn’t the same
It moves your feet yet traps the pain

if art is food for the soul
of what use are eyes if not to see
of what use are arms
if not to hold and behold

One person’s truth is another’s lie

No one should be left wondering if or why

….

The original version…

The second version, more of a rock feel…

An alternate rock version…

Love, X
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