Category Archives: Gift

Lemon Moment, Personal

Surprises

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It’s not about the things. Who doesn’t love things, whether they are practical or capricious? A friend who shares my birthday surprised me with a capricious bug catcher. It’s colorful and whimsical. Next to it is a nice rain jacket. I joke that I will wear it while I’m standing in the river so that I don’t get wet. A handmade personalized card. I have one from my sister but in typical me fashion, I set it aside so that I wouldn’t lose it. Now that I wanted to have it in the picture, I can’t for the life of me remember where I put it! I got a set of beautiful mugs for future trips and tree hanging. The Encyclopedia Brown book is from last Christmas. I loved those books when I was young. I much prefer surprising people for both their birthdays and random days than I do receiving gifts. But that in no way lessens how much I appreciate the tangible and touchable just as much as I appreciate the words and the exchanged humor that accompanies such landmark days. I know what y’all are thinking. The bug catcher is too small to catch my manager, so he is safe.
Love, X
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Lemon Moment, Personal

3:33

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Though it was almost 50°, the wind howled in the predawn morning. I stood motionless in the woods, back pressed against a tree. Waiting for deer. None came. But quiet thoughts did. The moon above me was rendered glossy by the clouds racing overhead. The world was dark but the wind buffeted everything. 3:33 a.m. is a distinct world.
X
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Airbnb, Lemon Moment, Personal

Me

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I went out into the woods early here in the hollers of Bella Vista. Though I was watchful, I didn’t see the deer until they ran and crashed away. The thick mass of leaves made surreptitious approach impossible. I saw one large buck. I was 15 feet from them. As I stood hanging another cup in the trees, I could hear a buck snorting. Above, hawks were already swooping and prowling the early overcast morning. Carolina chickadees, a solitary woodpecker, robins, fish crows, and other birds around me sang and pecked, ignoring the cold. It was both a lemon moments and stolen one.

Just me in the trees, surrounded.

It was a beautiful moment. I thought of one of my favorite quotes, “You can’t take a picture of this, it’s already gone.”
I felt a pang of aloneness, just as I had yesterday when I went down and snapped a picture of last visit’s cup.

I whispered, “Tomorrow.” There isn’t one. Only now.

Love, X
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Lemon Moment, Personal

A Better Someone

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He didn’t ask for anything.

I said, “I apologize for any awkwardness. Would you like this?” It doesn’t matter what it was. You can use your imagination. 

He looked at me and smiled. “Thank you!”

We talked for a couple of minutes. As I walked away, he asked me to hold on a second. 

He fished something out of his pocket and held it out. I took it from him. It was a dollar coin, shiny and new.

“I’m not going to say I’m not going to take it because you want me to have it. What’s the story? I know there is one.” I asked him.

He hesitated. 

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. But I love good stories.”

He said, “I always carry three of these new coins. One for the past, one for the future, and one for the now. Even though they’re the same, I like to imagine I’m giving away the coin that is the past. Sometimes I have to spend them.” 

“Damn,” I said, surprised. “That is interesting.” And I meant it.

“If someone needs it, give it to them.” I was walking away when he said that. It made me temporarily mute, so I just nodded. 

PS Earlier in the morning, I had a similar moment with another man. Though he did not have much, he always took the time to take the little extra he had and walk it to one of the small parking lot food pantries in Fayetteville. If I were looking for the definition of a kind, charitable heart, it would be him.

The brooch is one I wore today. I loved telling people, “It’s a brooch to celebrate my new promotion to Dance Commander.” The responses varied, but all made the day a little more interesting.

Love, X

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Lemon Moment, Opinion, Personal

Scroll

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Subtle things I’ve learned…

“Age is just a number, X.”

“You are right. But so is 100. You earned each of your years by the minute, the day, the month, the year. You can walk a hundred extra steps. You can eat 100 less calories. And you can do 100 push-ups. You don’t have to do it all at once. Make or take a minute for small choices. You can choose a smile instead of a complaint. You can give a hug to remember what humanity is all about. Age is just a number. And it relentlessly piles up behind you, an infinite number of increments. Just like you’re choosing to read this instead of scrolling past. Don’t scroll your life or it will be gone forever.”

X

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Animals, Lemon Moment, Personal

High

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What goes up must come down. I laughed when I thought of that. Because the way down lacked any attractiveness compared to the sense of adventure when I started up the tree and pile of brush. I dare not say how high I went. My age allegedly begs for restraint. There is a shimmering word in our language that attempts to describe the realization that you might not know it could be your last time. I reached the pile of brush and the trees jamming up from it because I had seen a hawk flying low upon the creek bed. At the end of its run, it elegantly rose up through the canopy and disappeared. It was my guess that it had a perch somewhere nearby and above. I followed the narrowing and disappearing dirt path until it was no longer. I pushed through the brambles and vines to reach the most likely tree that would serve as a candidate for ascension. Though I sometimes regret being barefoot, I also miss the connection with the dirt, rocks and water when I choose to protect my faith. I was barefoot today.  I leaned against the tree trunk and waited. Watching the birds and squirrels. A shadow went above me and I could hear the woosh of wings. And the bird of prey sat across from me, adjusting its wings and feathers while keeping an eye on me. I slowly reached for my phone in my front left pocket. Just as much to avoid dropping my phone or hurling myself from the exposed safety of the tree trunk. The moment was enough but I felt compelled to take a picture. For just a moment, the bird and I were at the same level. I was a little bit jealous that it would be able to jump, spread his wings, and skim along the cold water of the creek below. It would be two seconds of glorious freefall. As we all know, it’s not the fall that hurts. It’s the ending. Some people question others for their elaborate planning and effort for short bursts of pleasure. To that I would say, the best one-off moment so far this week was making an effort to see SpaceX blaze across the sky above me early one morning. Or to point out that you spend hours to shop and cook for the tastes sensation of eating that sometimes only lasts a few minutes. Or you rush for the singular goal of pleasure, when it is the journey and process that makes the sensation what it is. I managed to get out of the tree and brush. The hawk probably laughed at me, wondering why I took the long way to get out of the tree. I left him there, scanning the creek. When I looked back along the creek and realized how far I had climbed, I reminded myself that I have a picture. And that one day the digital picture would still be here, long after the memory attached to me would be gone. 

Love, X

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Lemon Moment, Personal, Technology

Beauty In The Sky

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I was so thankful I was outside when the SpaceX Dragon streaked across several states a little before 4:40 a.m. I’m glad I didn’t head to the top of the parking deck here. It takes a lot to surprise me. The speed of the spacecraft as it streaked across the United States caught me completely off guard. Though my picture does not capture how beautiful it was, the spacecraft fluctuated with a huge variety of colors and left a surprisingly wide trail behind it as it blazed across above me. When it first became visible to me near the Northwest horizon, I simply could not believe the speed in which it approached. It was like a fiery prism running across the sky.
X
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Humor, Lemon Moment

Retail Shenanigans

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I have an addiction to leaving fun signs at retail registers. I did more than one today. But in this case, before I even got away, I overheard one person ask the other, “Ooh! For some reason, I think a free pickle with coffee sounds really good! Don’t you?” I walked away quickly. There are a lot of times when it’s way more fun to use my imagination to develop the possible scenarios that resulted from my shenanigans.
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Fayetteville, Lemon Moment, Mental Health, Personal

Stillness

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After doing what I had to do in order to do what I want to do, aka work, and doing a blizzard of chores… I could not resist the call of the creek. I followed one of the little tributaries until I was certain I would break my neck doing so. Even though it’s 80 plus, the water is a bit chilly and my feet started feeling as cold as a senator’s heart. I could not quite make it to a tree with at least two dozen huge crows in it. It sounded like a management meeting wherein everyone was arguing about what color the cover sheet should be for the new TPS reports. Light breeze, the sound of the water cascading, and would-be managers cawing crazily in the overhead canopies of the trees. Maybe because it’s been a while since I’ve walked down the middle of the stream beds… It’s hard to simultaneously bear a grudge against the workday while experiencing such a familiar feeling. I tried hard to find something to gripe about. But the water cascading kept telling me to be quiet and be still. If you’re not prone to overthinking, you might not understand the imposed stillness.
X
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Animals, Behavior, Fayetteville, Lemon Moment, Personal, Psychology

Regret

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Yesterday morning, I watched an older lady painfully collect her bags from the EZ Mart counter. When I left, I rolled down my window and offered her a ride. I could see the look of distrust in her eyes. She said thank you and immediately turned away. She struggled with the bags as she walked.

Today as I left the worst convenience store in the history of mankind, another older lady seemed to be talking to me from a distance as I drove away. Because my car has ancient roller windows (even though it’s a 21 model), I leaned toward the passenger side and rolled down my window. She asked me if I could give her a ride. Honestly, assuming she wanted a ride to a nearby location, I had time. It’s rare for me to hesitate. But something about her seemed off. I told her I could not. She smiled and said thank you. And then she added that she loved my purple glasses. Something about her saying something nice and adding a smile after she realized I wasn’t going to give her a ride banged a gong in my head. I’ve given plenty of rides to questionable people if I’m alone because the risk is only to me. Or them, if you know me well enough.

Love, X

PS The picture is unrelated to my story. I took it Saturday. My cat was rolling around under the tree debris as if it were catnip. He’s on lockdown again after yesterday’s shenanigans.
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