Personal words and a truth to be understood.
Category Archives: Dating
Shortest Definition of Boundaries
So many people complicate it.
Or insist that it’s a control issue.
When done maturely, both people decide what’s right and important for each of them. Each has free will and choice.
Love, X
The Missing
I’ve reminded many people about this because it infects many relationships. Pay attention to what your person says they want or need. They’ll repeat it – until one day, they go silent. That silence equals danger.
Love, X
Rough Hands (Guest Post)
Rough hands
Scrubbed clean
Spots of blood
Bare to be seen
Nervous smile.
Rosy cheeks.
Hand in mine
On leather seats.
Red hot heart
Pumping high
I thought I
Might call him mine
Blue blue eyes
Smiling sad
This is so good
I’ve got it bad.
I see flags-
Crimson red-
But his touch
Goes to my head.
I pray – I do
This is true.
Sparks and light
Please come through.
I don’t know
What to do
If he’s done-
Already through.
I’ve got too
many souls
Been close to
Too many holes.
And I’m still
Alone in the dark.
I’m still
Alone in the dark.
Those rough hands
Lit a spark.
So roll credits,
This fades to dark.
Absolute Truth
Love, X
Reversal of Logic
This one was a shared story and it was more interesting and detailed than what I included in the TikTok below.
Somewhere
If you think about the fact that somewhere right now, there’s someone who is starving for what you can give, it can be both unnerving and comforting. Finding that person in the haystack is the obstacle. As difficult as it is, I know the only way to find that person is to wear your heart and thoughts on your sleeve. But that’s not what we do. We play it safe right down the middle, mostly believing that’s the best way. At that point, many of us are stuck in that role. As contradictory as it sounds, you do have to come across authentically. It’s that position of trust in yourself and in others that helps you find what you’re looking for and need.
Love, X
The Ball Rule, 3 Posts
These are in reverse order, with the most recent first. The Ball Rule is one of those obvious and succinct ways to describe a problem that most couples have.
An Uneasy Observation
The TikTok I made about this interested me.
The original post from the wife I mentioned, it garnered the usual amount of teeth-gnashing; mainly from those who got irritated about the therapist’s quote:
“…your phone is YOU… the stuff you interact with…the words you share…your pictures…and most people keep that hidden for a reason…and it usually has nothing to do with privacy…it’s about controlling whether people know the real you.” (“Even your partner,” it should have said.)
Reading that smacks you in the face with the truth. It’s like if your browsing history were published in the newspaper or if a list of all the people you’ve texted, DMed, or interacted with were published for the world to see. Our phones are a great reflection of the totality of us, especially when juxtaposed with our relationships.
As Dave Worthen preaches: “You share your bodies, you brush your teeth together, you have children, you spend most of your lives connected, but lord help you if someone wants to share your phone, even with the best of intentions.”
I’m not saying I have all the answers, but reading and hearing all the commentary about this anecdote really gave me further insight into just how big of a problem this is for most of the modern world. Our ancestors didn’t have to worry about this: most behaviors were direct and observable, and privacy/secrecy were not issues ideal partners had to confront.
Love, X
Last Nine TikToks
There will be at least one that resonated with you; I’m certain.
P.S. Parenthetically Speaking 