Category Archives: Holiday

A Sample Birthday Social Media Post

 

I wish everyone would take a few moments and do something interesting for their close friends and family on social media. We don’t have to spend hours of our cramped free time to surprise someone – and we don’t have to do it every time someone has a birthday or special occasion.

Below is an example of a typical FB birthday post I did. I took an old, familiar joke and personalized it. I also made a picture and while this particular one isn’t multi-layered, it used a running joke I have with the birthday girl. My friend resembles Helen Mirren, so I tagged her in the photo to further confuse friends and family. I usually don’t stress about getting it perfect, or if there are errors. If the effort and thought don’t shine through, it was going to fall flat anyway.

Helen-Mirren-helen-mirren-32853525-2500-3050

Post: “Since it is Marilyn Fisher’s birthday, I thought it best to deviate from the expected trite social media post. In order to pay homage to the birthday anniversary of Marilyn, it seemed more appropriate to share a personal anecdote, one that demonstrates her level of personal warmth and humor.

I first met Marilyn a few years when she and Larry resided in Northwest Arkansas.

I had left my car parked on Holcomb Street so that I could walk along the tree-lined sidewalks of Maple Avenue, leading to the hospital in Springdale. It was a beautiful, serene spring late morning and I was admiring the quaint houses, decorative fences and the variety of birds.

About 100 yards along Maple Avenue, I looked up and saw a tall, older gentleman casually walking along the same side of the road as I was. His hands were in his pockets. He was wearing a bowling hat, a bright green shirt that had the name “Larry” printed above the pocket, and I could hear him humming the first verse to the “Ukulele Song,” his feet stomping to the rhythm in his head.

As he approached me, he suddenly stopped in his tracks and turned toward the wooden spruce fence on my side of the road, peering fixedly at it.

I listened intently.

I heard someone softly chanting “Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen.”

My curiosity had gotten the best of me, so I cautiously moved past “Larry” and toward the wooden fence along Maple Avenue. I could see a hole in the fence slightly higher than waist level. Again, the soft whisper of “thirteen, thirteen, thirteen, thirteen” could be heard over the trees rustling overhead.

I leaned down as close as I could to the fence, trying to look directly through the hollowed out hole in the fence. The second I peered through the hole, a finger darted through it and poked me right in the eye!

Then, the chanting changes to “fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen.”
I hear Larry howling with laughter behind me.

That is how I met Marilyn (from beyond the fence) and her husband Larry for the first time.

It’s how I also discovered how Marilyn used her lunch breaks at work, trying to get to “thirty” with their well-choreographed ruse by the sidewalk fence.

She still calls me “Fourteen” to this day.”               (End of post.)

In the comments, I added specific details about when the fake picture was taken, the circumstances, etc. Most people have a great sense of humor; even if they do not, they often play along in the ridiculousness of the story and details.

All I ask is to consider telling a personal story or be a little creative. Social media is only as good as what we put into it. If you are nervous about the risk of not being funny, or worse, not being engaging, don’t be. Trying to make personal connections through laughter or sharing is almost never a mistake. If you are nervous about sharing on social media, it might not be the best idea for you to use it except as a connection tool.

 

 

 

Festivus Card 2015

xmas card 2015 (1).png

 

I’m posting this picture I used of my holiday card, for those too scared to share their mailing address with me. I don’t blame you. I could have found you using property records, voter registration, or even Intelius, but in the celebration of this yuletide season, I abstained from excessive stalkery – and not just because of the restraining orders. (I’m talking to you, Brian, on that last part.)

I know many of you won’t send me a Christmas card this year, and that’s fine. I’ll be making my own on your behalf and secretly mailing my version of the card you should have had to select members of your family. (Let the fun begin!)

Coincidentally enough, if you are upset about not being included on my exclusive mailing list, remember to take note and mention it during your own Festivus celebration and the “Airing of Grievances” on the 23rd. Festivus doesn’t require observation on that day per se, but technically you don’t have to wear pants to church either, although things will deteriorate rapidly if you don’t.

If you partake of the “Feats of Strength” portion of the Festivus celebration, I recommend that you give each person at your house a micro-dose of valium, available cheaply on those questionable websites you claim to know nothing about. Your odds of triumph will increase mightily if you do so. If you do pin your opponents, go ahead and yank a handful of hair out as you stand in victory. (They gotta learn sometime not to challenge you. If you are wrestling an older person, pull their ear or nose hair out.)

Festivus in no way contradicts the celebration of Christmas or any other holiday. With Festivus, you can use the unadorned aluminum Festivus pole as a coat rack, or perhaps even as a weapon to hit your Uncle James or brother Mike with – because let’s face it, you know one of them is going to arrive half in the bag or start arguments with your in-laws.

By airing your grievances, you can appreciate your family and those you love with a renewed sense of holiday cheer. Also, if they really irritate you, you can challenge them to feats of strength. (This is known as a win-win.) Christmas is a time of love and celebration, but the family gets really antsy when people get thrown on top of the tree or through the front room window. With Festivus, it is almost expected. You can’t win “America’s Funniest Home Movies” without some breakage, so get in there with gusto and celebrate the hell out of Festivus.

(And as with any good complaint or fight, there is nothing like the sensation of sweet brotherhood or mutual love after a good argument. The make-up is worth the break-up, so to speak.)

For those displaying the proper attitude, you might even get to experience some “Festivus Miracles.” Christmas season has been known to work magic. Adding a tip of the hat toward Festivus to the usual mix can only sparkle your life with renewed magic and wonder. Lord knows we all need a little life glitter to brighten our days.

On a serious note, whether you celebrate Christmas, Festivus, or no holiday at all, I hope each of you has the chance to laugh and smile, even though many of us are secretly hurting during the holidays. The opportunity of the holiday is one of not forgetting those we’ve lost or the ghosts of holidays past, but to smile and make new memories with the people we hold dear. (Please go easy on the jokers of your tribe.) For most of us, we haven’t forgotten the complexity of life, just that each of us must continue to place one foot in front of the other, squeezing as much gusto from this life as we’ve been given the chance to get. Love, X

 

Sample Festivus Link  For those 3 people who somehow will claim they have NO idea what the majesty of Festivus might be all about. Have pity on them.

Thanksgiving Is a State of Mind

122508 xmas at darla house (16)

 

Contrary to almost everyone else, I think a day like today can be relished best by living just like any other day. If you are lucky enough to have a good life, each day, despite its specific problems and headaches, also presents the chance for quick smiles, hugs, and the feeling of belonging with other people. Setting aside a particular day for gratitude seems weird to me. May your day be filled with both sore feet and someone who loves you enough to occasionally give you foot rubs. (PS: A true test of either friendship or love is that someone will roll their eyes at you in protest, yet still love you unconditionally. Write that down, there will be a pop quiz later…)

 

A Great Song, In Spanish

A Xmas Lesson From Buddy the Elf

51yw6ScRGUL._SL1024_

 

For those of you who put up your Xmas tree on November 1st

Please accept my apologies. I’ve been close-minded. I just realized that this is entirely a matter of personal happiness and taste. Why does it matter to me? If you want your house to look like a cathedral to Santa Claus, proceed with wild abandon. Seriously, all joking aside, and in total honesty: if it makes you happy and your family is equally enthusiastic about it – then do it. Please don’t get mad if we joke or make stupid comments about it: that’s what people do. We can snicker behind your back (instead of to your face) if you want because that is also what people do. I think early decoration is weird for a number of reasons, but why should that make you feel less happy and proud for wanting to do it? That’s a dumb reason to not decorate when and to the extent you want and a worse reason to not shout it from the rooftops, throwing your curtains open wide to illuminate your neighborhood with tree lights. Let your crazy Christmas light shine. I’ll drive by and say, “Look at those doofuses!” Meanwhile, you’ll be in your house, happy.

This might be a good way to look at life, too?

Father’s Day

Encore-Black-Drapery-Fabric-by-Drape-Kings-FinalImagine a world where all children are wanted and appreciated.

I posted this on my social media, remembering that those without fathers or with fathers who blemished the title seldom participate in the ritual of acknowledgement on said social media.

For some, it is not because they are negatively focusing on the harsh moments; rather, it is because some legacies scar so deeply that even gentle motions pull against the old wounds.

Untraditional Mother’s Day

mothers day 2015

I didn’t want to do the traditional mother’s day, so I made a homage that best represents her, when she was young and already set on her course. Not because my mom is gone, nor because I ever was committed to these types of holidays; rather, because although mom was a real person, she was never really whole, and she didn’t get the life she could have had. Her shadows kept her disconnected and unable to connect like one would expect. She passed her weakness on to me – as most parents do. (There are a lot of us out here, the ones who envy the legions of normal families.) I have many memories, many of them good. When I think of mom it is just as likely that I recall black and white, with fewer soft edges to bring her together. It is no offense toward her to acknowledge that she was a person, with demons and laughter in equal measures.

12192014 Friday Afternoon Musings

For the above picture, the challenge was to use as few words as possible, while including religious doctrine in the point.

For the above picture, I was challenged to nicely remind everyone that the season in itself should be inclusive and that we are all rowing in the same boat, or should be.

11212014 Great Kid Ornaments

The picture above is an example of xmas ornaments I used to make out of color photos, stickers, paint/fingernail polish, and tape. By putting the year on the photo, I could indicate how old the child was, as well as the year. After a few years, any tree begins to tell a story of who is in the family. It was something that I could get one child to help with another child’s ornament.

1116204 Picture Blankets

This picture demonstrates the lack of “pillow control” my cousin suffers from.

 

Whether you choose Wal-Mart or Snapfish, or some other photo service, they offer an interesting ability to have photos printed on blankets and pillowcases. I always encourage people to actually use the ones I have made, but many prefer to use them as “throws” or decorations. You can have just about any picture or picture printed, too.

As a minimalist, I don’t need a lot of pillow cases. But I would prefer that all of them were personalized and interesting like the one above, using a goofy picture of me and my wife taken at a children’s birthday party.

12008 jimmy noah at his apart (15)(4)This picture is of my cousin Jimmy and his son Noah. That pillow case was Noah’s pride and job for years. One of the funny stories of Jimmy’s cancer is that he accidentally put it in the microwave to heat it late night to heat it. It caught fire.

I don’t have pictures of many of the others, but I’ve had several sets of pillow cases made for the children of friends and co-workers. They’ve always been met with absolute joy and glee. Many of the kids uses them as sleeping bags when they are small.

I’ve also had many more blankets made than this. Unfortunately, I either don’t have pictures or the recipients didn’t pose with their gifts. There were a few really crazy blankets that I should have sent to myself after having them made to get a picture. One, for example, was a blanket intended to be used as a lap blanket at a Razorback’s game, ridiculing opponents. The other had 96 smaller pictures on it and looked bizarrely pretty when I designed the picture placement.

11062014 Invisilbe Christmas

“Invisible Christmas.” This is the name I offered to a possible “Spirit of Christmas” idea a few years ago to a national media campaign. They decided to go with something else. My concept was that for the things that are most treasured, the ones we hold close, aren’t ‘things’ at all; rather, they are the connections, albeit fleeting, invisible to the eye, made of warm feelings and moments. I’ve often wondered what could have been better than the label ‪#‎invisiblechristmas‬ ?

I would have like to have been chosen. My message is really disguised minimalism.