Category Archives: Justice

Behavior, Government, History, Justice, Opinion, Personal, Politics, Religion, Social Rules

Detach

07/20/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

Truth does not need a hammer.

This is a personal post. I avoided fancy vocabulary; it’s all over the place because I write with a shotgun. Expressing my feelings and opinions is what I do. I’m an imperfectionist, so I know I can’t explain everything sufficiently. I’m not happy with how I wrote all of these thoughts. I’m not happy with the slew of contradictions and hypocrisy I’m guilty of.

“Anything attributed to God as a consequence of intervention must also nod toward the responsibility of failing to correct everything else.” – X

Just as you must place commensurate value on both applause and dislike, so too must you place accountability and responsibility not only for singular acts that are favorable but also for those that bring pain and suffering. Choosing not to act is as culpable as acting negligently. If you create rainbows, you also accept ownership of deadly tornadoes ripping through churches – or of people being tortured, starved, or denied basic human necessities.

‘Unidentifiable’ and ‘unidentified’ are not synonymous. Neither are ‘unexplainable’ and ‘unexplained.’ If we survive the onslaught of existential threats, our ability to understand the universe will evolve. We didn’t develop intelligence (or be granted it) to sit in a dark corner of the universe. Truth always welcomes questioning. It is the essence of our advancement and the scientific method. It accepts being wrong by experimentation and adjustment. It is never a finished product. I look at religion and faith in the same way. Static belief holds no quarter for correction. Generally speaking, I observe people stagnating; they stop learning, listening to new music, or accepting that things they hold as true or high value might be wrong.

Whatever notion I have of a creator omits interventionism. We are participating in an escape room. We might have been given all the tools to get out, but we must use our intelligence and resources wisely and collectively. If I am correct about my personal opinions, we’re squandering the opportunity. In our society, we favor creators motivated by ‘do unto others’ and living lives that improve the situation for all of us. With a particular focus on those who need it. Although it might sting, it’s hard to make the argument that we are successfully following the doctrines we say we believe in. Even our economic system undeniably thrives on the perpetuation of interest and in its strictest sense, exploitation of advantage. Most of our religions disavow interest or the love of money, yet we proudly endorse a system that requires that singular pursuit as if it is the only way. Currently, we’re in another cycle wherein some are subverting both politics and religion to make decisions and interfere with our ability to live cooperatively yet independently. It won’t end well. Neither politics nor religion is the problem; the problem stems from the need to control other people.

People accuse me of being contradictory. They are correct. I see magic in things that a lot of people don’t. Equally true is that I see things we haven’t yet comprehended being attributed to miracles. Does the label for such magic matter? I love that people can see miracles. It’s optimism and whether it is rational or irrational, it’s the reality of all of us filtering the world.

History is filled with us committing atrocities toward one another. War. Slavery. Concentration camps. Were we to do those things as individuals, we would be vilified. Groupthink leads to us experiencing the Abilene Paradox in the worst way possible. We end up with a system in which no one is truly satisfied. Even though it stings to hear the bitter truth, abused religion tends to endorse this kind of craziness, as does perverted nationalism. Pride and love of faith and country do not absolve us of our need to constantly self-examine and adjust.

Since I’m already ruffling feathers, our constitution provided a means to modify our guidelines. While others hold our founders in esteem, mine is tempered drastically by the prevailing norms of their day. Their society was not founded on justice and freedom for all. Even our presidential election is perverted due to the necessity of bending to those shrieking that while a certain segment of our population was both owned and voteless, they should be counted as lesser among us. It is the very nature of recognizing defects and changing that merits praise. Our nation came from sedition and treason. That we prevailed is the reason we can attempt to form a more perfect republic absent corruption, special interests, or the subversion of the political and legal systems we enjoy. We don’t owe the people who wrote the constitution loyalty; they left us the roadmap to change course.

Religious nationalism, regardless of the religion or denomination, is immensely dangerous. It is the imperfect crucible that will only demonstrate its failure after splintering us further. Its rise is at the expense of our freedom to choose. When politics and religion intermingle, it inevitably results in increasing favoritism toward the alleged group consolidating power. And as happens with religions, the conflicting forces will fight for dominance. Those who have no religious beliefs or ones differing from the prevailing norm established by such an outcome will be restricted in their ability to choose. That is the opposite of the ideals of what we consider to be America.

In the same way that I don’t believe in ghosts, there are people who I love and respect who do. The same nod applies to their belief in miracles. It’s personal, based on perception. Who wouldn’t want to experience the joy of faith? I love that I know people whose faith is profound. I’m equally likely to grimace observing people using their religion of peace toward goals that are anything but.

I started this post with the quote because it’s one of my fundamental problems with relying on a creator to step in on our behalf. I’ve avoided using complex terminology or arguments for a reason. You can’t praise if you also don’t question why horrible acts done or allowed to happen don’t result in intervention. Using the ‘mysterious ways’ argument doesn’t address the shortcoming. Because I come from violence, I can only picture children with leukemia, being beaten or worse, often at the hands of people who claim to love them or who are supposed to protect them. Failing to intervene is the opposite of any behavior I want to emulate. I don’t need to understand the motivation to see that the consequences of failing to act result in monstrous behavior and conditions.

And yes, I am holding any potential creator to the standard of behavior I expect of myself and other people. It’s not my fault to be granted intelligence. I can’t imagine having the power and ability to protect children and not using it. If we are expected to use our intelligence and solve our problems, it would be zero effort for our creator to intervene.

I’m not picking on one particular denomination or religion. We are all too familiar with the oldest church not only knowing that children were being abused, but that they decided to use their massive wealth and power to protect the abusers. When I catch myself glossing over their actions, I think of a small powerless child, frightened. It personalizes the problem and reminds me viscerally of the horrific sin of those who participated and also those who acted to protect those who engaged in the behavior. Anyone aware of child predators being protected cannot be on my list of moral authorities. Even though I’m sharing my opinion, I’ll add that I could never embrace a religion or denomination that prohibits half the population from occupying positions of moral authority.

Growing up, God was silent. He didn’t whisper to me when I had a literal gun pointed at me or when fists were hitting me. He didn’t intervene against the people hurting me. And he didn’t motivate to action the heart of his pious believers who witnessed it yet didn’t step in. I listened and watched the people around me closely. Their piety and righteousness allowed them to blithely justify what was going on. I no longer judge my dad harshly. Or my mom. But the family members who valued family honor and preached their version of religion? I consider them to be more monstrous due to their inaction. My parents were possessed by addiction and the echo chamber of inescapable trauma themselves. They did not preach the lessons of universal love. They preached their beliefs and demons through behavior, just as the rest of us do. Unlike most people’s version of our creator, they did not possess unlimited knowledge. They didn’t know better. And if they did? They couldn’t do better. It’s hard to judge them when it’s obvious I’m guilty of the same stupidity.

You can’t convince anyone of a spiritual belief using logic. It can’t be done, although many attempt it. Condemning people who don’t share your beliefs sends the message of arrogance. Whether it’s your intention or not, it sends the wrong message about a religion based on love and lovingkindness. That’s the difficulty of having religious writings that are contradictory and cherry-picked to suit individuals or denominations. Were it the literal word of the creator, there would be no division or disagreement. It’s a clear sign that men have cemented their agendas into what we are left with. I don’t attack anyone’s religious texts, although I do restrain myself when they are misinterpreting theirs, choosing which parts matter, or demanding that others defer to them. All the people I admire who have deep faith share an understanding that they must not yield to the temptation to dictate to others. Morality easily exists outside the boundaries of religion. Beware quoting a religious text that contains rules regarding slavery. And beware of a constitution that once needed laws to protect the same evil.

“Factually speaking, everyone is an atheist. It’s just that they choose one particular god to believe in to exclude all others.” This sort of quote upsets believers. It shouldn’t. It’s a recognition of the fact that humanity believes in several creators. Your religion should be your guidepost and beacon. Anyone observing you should be able to see the teachings you believe in come to life. Even when you fail. Secularism is not a declaration of war against religion; it’s a requirement that we meet in the middle with mutual respect.

Or as Dave Barry commented, “People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.” That lack of reciprocity inadvertently demonstrates intolerance or an inability to endorse the idea that religion is personal and never mandated.

What ties this all together is that the certainty of things unproven often leads people to collectively force what works for them onto other people. Politics and law are designed to bridge the gap toward collective safety and good. There should be no deference toward a particular group, especially if it is in the majority.

Truth does not need a hammer. If you find yourself willing and able to impose on others, you’ve inadvertently admitted that living your truth by example is failing.

A religion of love does not resort to force.

When politics and religion collide, you are fanning the flames of divisiveness and exclusion. Politics exists to efficiently govern all of us while respecting our freedoms. In its purest form, it is devoid of favoritism toward specific groups. In its worst form, it becomes polluted by one group subverting the rule of governance by substituting zealotry. History demonstrates the consequences of doing so. All of us watch as individuals manipulate religion into a tool for personal gain.

Because people bring their own filters and straw men to these sorts of posts, I want to point out that I don’t dislike religion. I despise dogma and contradiction. And more than that? The certainty some people bring to the table allows them to impose their personal beliefs on others who don’t share it. The best among the faithful to me are the ones who walk the tightrope of faith and intelligence. They live their lives full of hope, peace, and optimism. They reflect the religion they espouse.

I don’t need to know what faith they possess. I can see and witness the consequences. The alignment of ideals results in the behavior you would expect from following the tenets of their particular faith.

If our creator is a creator of love, it follows that we can expect the universe and one another to behave per those ideals.

And because I don’t believe in a creator intervening in our affairs, the outcome of our sporting events is in no way affected by requests for intervention. The same is true for elections. The best prayer possible for me is an appeal to allow us to develop our intelligence. To expand our sense of collective empathy outwardly to everybody in the world. To desist from resorting to violence or dominance. We’re all stuck on this rock squabbling over resources and whether our respective ideologies are better than the rest. Anyone paying attention to history can see that this path has yielded unimaginable results. We do well when we cooperate – and poorly when we don’t. Go figure.

Love, X
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Behavior, Government, Justice, Law, Opinion, Personal, Politics, Psychology, Racism and Prejudice, Religion, Social Media, Social Rules

Folly

07/15/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

They said the secret part out loud.

Regardless of how we feel about the words, in a way, it’s a good thing.

We don’t have enough authenticity in the world.

I grew up inundated with prejudice, alcoholism, and violence, but also love and respect. The traumatic parts become the focus because they’re our biggest challenges. It’s hard to admire the sunset when your face is bruised by someone who is supposed to protect you. You can’t love reading if you’re hungry or afraid.

It’s the same now. Our society is safer and smarter, and our arc is generally that of betterment.

You wouldn’t think so – and that’s because the outliers draw our attention. Despite statistics that clearly show that we’re safer and smarter, that’s not the consensus you get when you ask a large group of people whether life is better now than it was. The effect of people thinking in large groups is that we increasingly find it easier to lose sight of doing the right thing.

Tribalism and echo chambers dominate us. It isn’t worse now than it once was. It’s just that we have tools to make information instantaneous.

It should be obvious who among us is motivated by the things that represent what our ideals demand of us. It’s not a question of intelligence, no more than your argument about loading the dishwasher is really about something else. Smart people do dumb things so it is no surprise that when we band together, we behave even more stupidly.

To justify, we vilify. We do this even as we recognize that we’re mostly doing and saying the same things. Names and geography changes – but we largely do not.

“Why can’t we all get along?” The answer is simple. Because we are not logical creatures.

We’re supposed to love our neighbor, but easily justify all manner of destruction. We’re supposed to honor and cherish those we’re with, but all of us see friends and family choose infidelity. Humanity is supposed to drive us forward and yet most of us participate in a capitalist system that takes advantage of the disadvantaged and favors the rich. We choose leaders who openly lie, cheat, and work for special interests and themselves. We claim to collectively despise entertainment that denigrates; yet, statistics demonstrate that we are consuming such content behind closed doors and locked phones. We know that our friends, family, and coworkers are drinking excessively, using mind-altering substances, or choosing the wrong things on a large scale.

Regarding politics, people are nuts. Studies show that we draw our conclusions and then find the evidence to support it. It’s what we do in our personal lives, so it’s no shock that it follows us in our ideologies. The religions we choose often propel us into certainty and dogma. The good ones preach universal love and respect, yet too many of their followers splinter the message and focus on controlling others.

If you’re a good person, you live without harming others. You choose what helps others. You’re going to fail often.

Saying the quiet part aloud helps us. For better or worse, at least you’re letting the rest of us know what percolates in your secret heart and life, the one you don’t want to be exposed. I grew up with a couple of people who were, in my opinion, monstrous. Not because they acted, but because they kept their secrets locked inside a box of righteousness and self-certainty.

Words, words, and more words, a flood of them.

Meanwhile, your life is your sermon.

As for alleged leaders, I want people who have mostly lived their lives with efficiency and honor. If they haven’t managed to control their own lives in agreement with the ideals they quote, it is dissonance and folly to expect them to lead us anywhere other than the wrong place.

Whatever your ideology is, if you’re focused on control or the certainty that you’re right, you will be blinded to other options.

I’m old enough to have become fascinated by people and their lack of self-understanding. I see it in myself so I can say it without sounding like a hypocrite.

Love, X
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Ancestry, Behavior, Biographical, DNA, Justice, Law, Opinion, Personal, Psychology, Racism and Prejudice, Social Rules

Truth

04/03/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

A local doctor stole babies from birth mothers, telling them that their children had died. And one case in particular… It took decades for DNA to reveal the story. That happened here in Northwest Arkansas. One of my ideas for a Netflix documentary would be to contact the families of every mother, especially single mothers, who gave birth during a specific time period to perform DNA tests and compare them nationally.

Handsome, charismatic men who portray themselves as humble Christian husbands. Yet engage in a cycle of highly sexual affairs. (A story so common it is literally copy and paste.) Another one with a conservative political career who used his position at his work to take advantage of women. There’s a reason so many sexual harassment complaints arise in the workplace. It has built-in inequality that largely negates people speaking up and setting things right.

More than one doctor who openly had mistresses but yet were considered pillars of the community. Who had children with those mistresses.

People I knew who experienced a wild array of trauma. Everything you can imagine. Even though I had my own mostly unknown traumas, some of these people went through much, much worse than I did.

A dentist who preyed on women. Money can lighten any stain or accusation. Rarely do people choose victims whom they consider their equals.

Cops took advantage of people monetarily or sexually. Some used their positions to ruin their victims instead of admitting what they had done.

Coaches who bullied young kids. Or worse.

Teachers who are inappropriate with their students.

Church leaders behaving inappropriately.

A multitude of lawyer stories. Except they are armed and knowledgeable regarding the process of eluding accountability. Mostly. I’ve told the story many times, but one of them went to prison for fixing cases. My parents were among those who benefited from the arrangement.

Last year I had a bad feeling about someone who owned a plumbing company. I used my skills and uncovered a trail of female victims. One leading me across the country.

I had a similar feeling about a neighbor. He turned out to be a previously convicted sexual predator, along with a nice jacket full of criminal offenses.

All of these things have shadows around them.

Most people are good people.

But one thing you have to understand is that your experience with a particular person does not mean they didn’t have a dark side.

Especially upon their passing, if you lionize them, you have to be willing to listen to anyone who has a contrary opinion or experience with them.

It is in darkness and secrecy that people can be duplicitous and lead secret lives out of sight from observers. At least observers who will speak up.

The above examples are stories I know from here in Northwest Arkansas.

When I got involved in learning about the doctor who was stealing babies, I was expecting a reasonable explanation. Instead, I had to sit in the knowledge that someone was capable of ruining a mother’s life in that way. There was no doubt that he had done it to multiple women.

It’s human nature to avoid accountability, just as it’s also our nature to get mad when someone tries to tarnish a family member or someone we admire. Even a cursory look at Mother Theresa and her charity reveals many detestable secrets.

People have different faces for each aspect of their life.

I don’t have a nice bow with which to tie this post up.

There are certainly false accusers.

But there are also victims or people who know the truth about someone.

Each of these people has the right to tell their truth and story.

History and familiarity with people have repeatedly and demonstrably proven that truth is stranger than fiction.

I have several examples from my life in which the truth didn’t come to light for decades. In one, I found the gift of a beautiful and intelligent sister concealed from me. In another, I found proof of the final crime that sent my dad to prison in Indiana in the 60s.

X
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Behavior, Canada, Justice, Law, Mental Health, Opinion, Safety, Security, Social Rules

Caution For My Canadian Friends

01/26/2024 X Teri 2 Comments

Social media can be deceptive. Even convicted rapists can you use it as if everyone in the world doesn’t know their past. When you’re aware that people can remain at large in society after being found guilty of heinous behavior, it makes you cynical and paranoid. Most of us would be more comfortable being surrounded by people who’ve robbed banks. It’s not targeted and does not engage the primal fear of helplessness that personal crime does.

Eric Osborne’s blitheness on social media can’t be chalked up to obliviousness. By the point multiple people have accused you of criminal behavior, most people’s veneer of innocence dissipates. This is doubly true if you are convicted of such behavior, as is the case of our Canadian friend Eric Osborne. What creates frustration for his victims is that he’s engaging with the world, one which is largely unaware of his path of endangering women.

What’s different in the Canadian criminal system is that even victims can be subject to an injurious and nonsensical publication ban. This hinders a victim’s right to expression – a hindrance not placed upon the accused. People who have been subject to stalking, harassment, or physical harm can’t talk about the person who committed the acts. This endangers those who are exposed to the person accused of such crimes.

Eric Osborne uses his social media and internet presence to obfuscate how he has terrorized women. It’s no longer a question of opinion or he-said-she-said. Either he’s delusional and detached from the reality that he’s experienced in the criminal justice system, or he Is something else entirely. The woman who experienced him at his worst has several names for this kind of man. “Convicted” carries more weight than “accused.” That he pled guilty to charges relating to violence against women should be more than ample grounds for the Canadian justice system to act accordingly.

Southern Justice, unfortunately, isn’t an approved export.

The ongoing frustration is that he’s out of incarceration temporarily. His presence among us in free society presents of clear and present danger to those he has victimized. He’s out on a technical appeal, even though he pled guilty to similar charges against several other women. This type of insanity is part of the reason why victims become doubly victimized; first by their perpetrator and secondly by the system that allegedly protects them.

One of his very recent posts refers to people gossiping about him. I’m curious as to whether he counts the crown or the prosecution as guilty of gossip. Technically they did gossip when they arrested and then incarcerated him for crimes against women.

I will leave it to all of those curious to Google Eric Osborne and research it for themselves. He resides in Canada. It shouldn’t be difficult for anyone to find a trail of how he’s behaved and whose lives he ruined. Don’t forget to include marital and divorce records if you take a dive. Search for blogs and archives that might make mention of him.

People like him thrive in secrecy. Canada should bow its head in shame at forcing women to remain silent at any point in their experiences. And another prolonged bow for exposing its citizenry to someone who has clearly demonstrated that he’s not yet fit to be roaming the streets among civilized people. Eric is highly intelligent and adept at hiding in plain sight; this chameleon identity is what made him so successful when he chose to victimize women.

Behavior, Government, Justice, Opinion, Social Rules, Work

Act Your (W)age

01/19/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

Act Your Wage

A friend showed me a meme with this clever turn of phrase. It was in reference to the coworker we all have no matter where we work, the one who acts as if they are in charge. If you work for an organization, it’s a 100% certainty that you have at least one such coworker. Just like you undoubtedly have one that is constantly telling you how busy they are as they stand nearby with a cup of coffee in their hand.

But like all clever phrases, this one started my mind churning. We’ve all heard of quiet quitting by now.

I get paid well for my job, given the requirements. It’s physically tough at times, but my wage is aligned with the principles of fairness. The benefits I enjoy go well beyond what many receive for doing really tough jobs.

But like most people, I know a lot of people who aren’t being paid for the amount of work they do. Many of them are hardwired to do good work and to go above and beyond regardless of the wage they are earning.

I often wonder what the capitalist system would look like if everyone suddenly realized that they should act their wage. The wage they are being paid should reflect their contribution and value. That’s the theory anyway.

I feel even more strongly about this regarding people who are paid the legal minimum. Or people in the service industry being taken advantage of. The tip wage is a nasty anachronism that needs to be eliminated.

Many people have misguided ideas about the effects of higher wages on consumer prices. Even so, it’s hard to reconcile justifying such low wages based on the alleged potential consequence of higher prices. I won’t cite the numerous examples and studies that prove it’s a myth. Because people only acknowledge what already aligns with their belief system. It’s one of the many reasons I prefer to use the term living wage. All of those difficult jobs that aren’t paid sufficiently are required to keep the businesses running. We all enjoy the consequences of lower prices. All too often we do it at the expense of the people at the bottom of the pay range. Many people never have to confront the struggle of those who work hard but know that they’ll likely never escape the endless cycle of indebtedness. If you say, well, they can improve their lives. Although that’s true, we are still going to need people working the positions that others move past in such a scenario.

I look at all of these issues from a liberal viewpoint. But also a practical one. At the center of all these ideas we have are people who deserve better opportunities. I despise the system that allows anything less than a living wage. What constitutes a living wage is up for debate. What’s not on the table for discussion is that it is unethical to me that we willingly look the other way for a big segment of society. I don’t look down on anyone working fast food or cleaning the floors. All of those jobs are necessary for us to enjoy the goods and services they help provide.

Several years ago, there was a movie titled A Day Without a Mexican. It comes to mind when I think about people working for less than a living wage. I imagine a world wherein everyone making less than what is required just to stay even wakes up and refuses to participate in the rigged system.

A famous comedian once said that minimum wage is proof that many businesses would pay you less if they could. And history rubber stamps this idea by demonstrating that people lose sight of the fact that we’re supposed to be our brother’s keeper even in the pursuit of commerce or profit. For those who follow history, even the way we elect our president is a result of a segment of society insisting that enslaving people was justified based on the economic outcome.

I wonder what it might be like if those who are not being paid a living wage followed the principle of Act Your Wage.

It’s not our imagination that doom spending and disengaging from the pursuit of our alleged American dream is accelerating.

I find it hard to judge anyone who resents working hard and being unable to stay caught up. And if you tell me that people will take advantage if we put our hand out to help, my answer is, so what. You don’t fail to reward those who work hard by punishing everyone. The system is rigged in favor of those who already have more than their share.

In the same way that we could feed everyone in the world if we focused our priorities and resources, we could also easily ensure everyone has a slice of the so-called American dream. It’s not a zero-sum game.

X
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Behavior, Justice, Law, Mental Health, Opinion

Justice?

11/30/2023 X Teri 2 Comments

It seems as if legal systems forget the consequences to victims. In this particular case, the person in question was rightfully convicted in more than one criminal case. Each case involved a woman confronted with the potential for further harm. His release pending appeal puts each previous victim in the position of fearing for their safety.

This isn’t a case of someone accused yet not convicted. The record is established and his actions are well documented. Each of his convictions result from behavior that should not be condoned in a civilized society. Releasing him pending appeal on a particular case after he’s already pled guilty to other charges regarding other women is a misstep of our collective sense of justice.

Eric P. Osborne, approximately 46, of Stratford, Ontario in Canada was convicted of sexual assault in August of 2023. As a result, he was given the maximum sentence possible for the summary conviction, less time served, along with many other conditions including registering on the sex offenders list and providing DNA samples.

Mr. Osborne also has a history of other convictions for crimes committed against other women. He pleaded guilty to those charges.

As of Monday, Nov. 27, 2023, he is at large in the community again pending an appeal.

He may not seem dangerous at first but the public is encouraged to question the legitimacy of his statements and be wary.

Justice, Law, Opinion, Personal, Politics, Social Rules, Springdale

Truth Is A Verb

04/23/2023 X Teri Leave a comment

Truth Is A Verb

A recent viral video of a local arrest demonstrates what I’ve said a million times: people are going to react to whatever they think happened. I’ve been in the middle of some highly questionable police activity. Having known several police officers, I had the luxury of hearing some of the craziness that goes on behind bureaucracy and authority. This case is much more complicated than people seem to care about. Everyone loves jumping in with opinions, even though context and background are vital to understanding what’s going on. But, of course, people aren’t going to take the time to withhold judgment until they understand the subtleties at play. This is true about personal goings-on and doubly true for things happening in the world around them. Generally speaking, the public as a whole is wildly misinformed, and little can change that. During my normal days, I dart around and listen to people give opinions that reflect a huge disparity in their grasp of detail, whether it’s science, economics, or politics. It’s a reflection of strawman arguments. I listen as people with no expertise or knowledge in a particular field make sweeping statements far beyond their level of understanding.

As for the recent viral story involving the police, I took a bit of time and looked closely at the context. I was not surprised to see that people were dubiously questioning what happened. Most of them were doing so from a position of ignorance. The sound bite version had infected them with the mistaken idea that they understand what happened. Beyond that? They are not interested to know. That’s just human nature. We have more information than ever at our disposal, but our nature is one of superficial comprehension.

And so, they react to their misinterpretation, much like they did years ago when the woman burned herself badly with the cup of McDonald’s coffee. I mention that example because, to this day, people still talk from ignorance about her allegedly ridiculous lawsuit. History proved that her story was complex and that MdDonald’s had been negligent on multiple counts. But that’s not what people remember because the initial media frenzy crowded out the facts and context.

All of us were confused back in the day when the Paula Jones and Monica Lewinsky scandal broke. It took years for history to come forth with a much more telling recount of the misconduct of Bill Clinton. His pattern of sexually inappropriate conduct as a government employee turned out to be as wild as we imagined. But most of us were crowded into camps of defensiveness or accusation. The facts did little to change our initial point of view. Out of ignorance, I thought it was a case of political witchery. Of course, it turned out to be the case that Bill Clinton consistently behaved inappropriately in his positions of power. Several women were left with the consequences of dealing with the fallout.

A few years ago, most watched as the Duggar mess unfolded. Power and politics wrecked the possibility of a cut-and-dry outcome. What was uncovered in the long term unquestionably put to rest the idea that there was no fire behind the smoke.

There is police misconduct everywhere. That’s going to be the case because people find ways to misbehave regardless of their occupation. In the viral case over the last few days, people acted in good faith and in accordance with policies put in place to protect juveniles. It’s unfortunate to see the public go haywire with a misinterpretation. That’s the power of video in a nutshell. A strawman interpretation of what motivated the police to arrest someone infecting the public and few took the time to look into the ‘why’ of it all.

Time will reveal the details and subtleties. But most people won’t remember those. They’ll keep their inconsistencies in their head to mostly justify whatever conclusion or prejudice they have against the police or people in general.

As for the particular incident that prompted this post? I’m glad that we have school resource officers. Had they existed when I was in school, both of my parents would have been incarcerated multiple times, and I certainly would not have been allowed to live with them. That’s the plain truth. If the initial statements made by the person who put the chain of events in motion were not true, that’s a buttress to my argument about the power of words and accusation. Be cautious in your allegations; they can ruin people. And if they were true? It is a reflection of what goes on behind closed doors at so many homes all across the country. I’m making no hard stand regarding the ‘truth’ of the allegations precisely because we might never know in a meaningful way. Do I feel like people in authority behaved in good faith? Hell yes. And that’s weird for a liberal like me to say. There are countless examples of police misconduct everywhere. I don’t see it in this case.

I made the mistake of diving into the people involved. By way of confession, the booking photo of the person in question made me cringe. I’m as guilty as anyone for jumping to conclusions and more so in this case. I trust my instincts, though they are sometimes wrong.

I’d just like everyone to remember that we don’t really KNOW. And especially when we don’t have access to all the information. It would be nice if we lived in a society wherein laws and protection were applied equally to everyone. It’s obvious that we don’t live in that world. If people are involved, whether it’s the police or private citizens, it’s always going to be messy and full of unseen agendas, resources, and conflict. That’s part of who we are.

Love, X
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Behavior, Justice, Opinion, Personal, Psychology, Safety, Social Rules

A Personal Post

12/10/2022 X Teri 2 Comments

I hate it when I doubt my instincts!

People forget my background and the way I was raised. Yes, it was damaging. But it also left me with a visceral radar. There are times when I doubt it. I don’t know why because time after time, I discovered later that it was dead on, even when there wasn’t anything overt to signal my reaction. It’s important to know that I’ve been wrong, too – at least as far as I know. For people who don’t have it, I can’t quite explain the discomfort and unease some people transmit. It made me feel like the damage from my childhood broke something in me. Though I don’t like it now that I’m older, I think it is a strength. It’s sometimes caused me problems because I struggle to explain to people that other people around them might be concealing some serious defects. They look at me like I’m crazy. I’d like people to stop and seriously consider what I’m telling them, even if there is no evidence to support my radar.

Today, I discovered that I was more than right about someone. It gave me a little bit of PTSD for the day not long after my surgery when I thought I might have to do some serious damage. It led me to take one-on-one self-defense tutorials. Even with a long, painful scar in the middle of my stomach. The truth is that no one can stop bad people. The police, if they help at all, only ‘help’ after the crazy person has caused harm.

Today’s discovery was a revelation and affirmation. It proved that I wasn’t crazy, at least not that way.

Most people walking around are good, decent people. I still believe that.

But I also know that people have many secrets. Some dark, some personal. And among them are a few interspersed evil human beings among us.

I’m not going to share the details of one of the people I was right about. It’s disgusting any way you look at it. I knew the person was bad. I didn’t know how right I was. I was lucky – and so were a lot of other people. There were days when I expected the worse. There were days when I almost hoped I’d have to react. At least then, the person wouldn’t be around to do further harm. Or I’d be beneath a pile of brush somewhere in the fields. That I recognize a residual part of my dad in me, what I call “The Bobby Dean,” makes me laugh and a little nervous.

I realize that a small part of my continuing to do push-ups and stay in shape is that people will see an older man with a smile. They’ll assume I don’t have a radar that warns me about them. I’m still wondering why I continue to have self-doubt when it goes off. My life teaches me over and over that I shouldn’t. I never fear people when they approach me, when they need help, or even when they are acting strangely. I’m very open to people. It’s the ones you don’t see coming that cause so much havoc.

Before finishing, I’d also like to say I’m disheartened that our system doesn’t do more to help people when they’ve identified the bad people. Someone in my satellite circle is currently experiencing a little bit of a nightmare trying to navigate the impersonal and bureaucratic system that is supposed to protect them. I’d like to be hopeful and enthusiastic, but I also know that there are times when things go wrong. Afterward, the people who could have done something inevitably ask, “What could we have done?”

The answer is, “Well, something!”

PS I don’t like the tone of these words, but since I’m an imperfectionist, I’m leaving them as is. Everyone brings their own filters and preconceptions to our behavior and words anyway. There’s no use trying to control or curate it.

Love, X
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Behavior, Family, Justice, Mental Health, Opinion, Personal

Wait In The Truck / Southern Justice

08/26/2022 X Teri Leave a comment

There are a lot of bad men out in the world, whether they physically dominate or mentally degrade their wives and children. The smart ones are fiendishly clever in concealment; their masks in public are often adorned with a suit and tie, a quick smile, or an engaging personality. Growing up, I had to endure abuse. A lot of people knew it was happening. Few ever attempted to intervene. I understand the complicated issues at play for their failure. That kind of abuse, however, leaves most people with a shaky faith in their parents, their god, and of their ability to leave such trauma behind.

With that in mind, even though I am a liberal, I have always been drawn to the concept of southern justice. When someone does the right thing, even when the right thing is also terrible. It’s not revenge. It’s taking the light back from someone who isn’t worthy of its possession.

I’m not advocating violence.

I’m advocating action.

Sometimes action yields a terrible consequence yet remains the lesser evil.

Someone I know whose life suffered due to the presence of a human monster sent me this song.

It resonated exactly as expected.

Love, X
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