People who can change their minds are better people.Those who zealously defend the exact same beliefs over an extended period of time are probably more likely to be demonstrating stubbornness instead of intelligence. I will agree it is possible that they have been correct all along, too, in which case my premise doesn’t apply. Whether we are discussing religion, politics or simply the best way to live one’s life, the barometer to determine our viewpoint should always be realistically flexible rather than unyielding and rigid. (Sidenote: what you might term definitive ‘morality’ isn’t exactly what this refers to.)

Constant change for its own sake is not, however, a good thing. The kind of changing I’m referring to is that of our outlook on ideas, life, and how to live it. If we stick with an ingrained way of doing things simply because we aren’t critically thinking, we are guilty of a different offense.

All the fuss about people changing their viewpoint is nonsense. It might not be opportunistic flip-flopping. Changing one’s mind in the face of evidence or maturity is NOT bad; quite the opposite. It is a positive result of critical thinking. Why are we so trained to be frightened of admitting our old ideas or ways were wrong? We must also allow even those in the public sphere the opportunity to explain their change of heart. I can’t see into their hearts. I can jump to an erroneous conclusion based on my own cynicism but I can’t know with certainty if the change of opinion is authentic. Further, I have no right to doubt another human being because he or she has changed his or her mind, even if they are a paid public servant, a friend, or even a family member.

Were my premise not true, I would be nothing more than a horrible continuation of the insanity that my parents and history dictated. I’ve changed my “certainties” several times over the last few years. Sometimes, it feels as if the sensation of my opinion changing has accelerated.

I know a person who is simply furious with the idea that anyone can fundamentally change his mind about anything important. Likewise, he is upset that he has been unable to adopt new ways of dealing with old problems. He is fiercely rigid in his beliefs – and he is unhappy as a result. Like him, I was damaged by my upbringing. Unlike him, however, I don’t maintain the old ways of thinking about it. The fury he displays at the realization that he no longer can pigeonhole me into a defined set of conclusions is astonishing. He is powerless when trying to confront the idea that smart people can and should change their viewpoint – without apologies. It took me quite a while to attempt to stop rationalizing this person’s crazy, irrational insistence that he had access to special knowledge based on who I once was. He is frozen intellectually. Things that were true for him ten years ago must be held equally true today, despite evidence, circumstances and reality aligning against him. Because he once said it or wrote it, he feels as if it must be his belief today as well, even though he might have grown beyond those ideas.

Just because someone disagrees with abortion when they are 25 doesn’t require them to be against it at 35, or even 26, especially if the person’s life experiences has honestly led the person to change his viewpoint. A person can be atheist and twenty and be religious at thirty. Or vice versa. That’s learning – not flip-flopping.

If you know someone who believed in something 6 months ago, that doesn’t obligate them to believe the same way today. You cannot know with certainty whether their change of mind/heart is real – you can only observe them and take them at their word regarding a change of heart. Your contention that they must not only maintain old beliefs but also explain and justify them to you is absurd and abuses your interpersonal relationships. It’s a hallmark of intellectual dishonesty. A lesson I learned in life is that you are surrounded by family, friends, and acquaintances who have changed their minds about some things – but don’t know how or when to reveal the change of mind and heart to the people around them.

I recommend adopting this as our “new” standard in our personal lives and in politics. Our lives change us as it unfolds. We might have once been bigoted, homophobic, or mistakenly believe that anger is normal. Allow people to gracefully change their mind and make the world a saner place. If you get angry because someone has changed his or her mind, I ask you to examine your motives. It is likely that you are stuck emotionally.

I have updated this entry in part due to the fact that sometimes we discover things that a person said, wrote or did a year ago, ten years ago, or when they were in high school. Like the proverbial river being different each time we wade into it, so too, are we. Speaking on my own behalf, I would cringe at some of the stupidity that I was guilty of when younger. There is no doubt in my mind that just as I look back to my past and wonder “what was I thinking?” that I will similarly look back on today’s beliefs and laugh at my idiocy. While I might be convinced of being right about any number of things today, it is a certainty that I’m dead wrong about many things. Each of us are shuffling through different stages of learning or ignorance. I don’t know about you, but I need to resist judging people on what they said or did in the past. This doesn’t mean discarding reason or even giving everyone a pass; rather, it means that as we learn and change, we are literally different people in the most critical ways.

We should pay attention to what was said and done in the past – but it should not close our minds to our ability to learn, grow, and accept the possibility that the person we judge for past words or deeds is no longer that same person worthy of our disdain. I have a picture somewhere that shows a woman with a picket sign indicating: “My opinions change with new information.” It is our expectation that we will accept new ways of thinking and acting when the old ways have been demonstrated to be destructive or less than compassionate.

As a liberal, I am not a fan of our new senator, Tom Cotton. But the coverage of his writings from his youth gave me pause. Not because of the content, even though I thought his line of reasoning was gibberish. What bothered me about it is that many people vilified him today solely based on what he had written a long time ago. Please note that I’m not arguing whether he STILL believes in what he wrote so long ago. It’s immaterial to my point. My point is that Tom Cotton wrote a lot of things a long time ago that were very controversial. It is my obligation to ask whether he still believes in those things before I launch into a diatribe against him based solely on those previous words. He might have disavowed every single word, exchanged his meritocracy arguments for ones of compassion and social justice. He might have – I don’t know. It’s unfair to him to judge his life in the present for what he said then. He might have learned from his mistakes, made amends, and begun to live his life differently.

I have this opinion because I want the same treatment for myself. We are all learning creatures and usually as we age, time, tragedy, and circumstance opens our eyes to the world.  I’m not the same person I was when I was younger and I’m not the same person I was in 2007. I would want each of you to look closely at my life and honestly appraise whether I’m truly different than I was then. You don’t have to take my word and accept blindly that I’m not the same person. You should use your gift or reason and observation and decide. I find myself all too often convincing myself that people don’t change or that someone who was an ass when younger must still be an ass, or hold the same beliefs. As I’ve aged, people have genuinely surprised me. While most misbehaving or angry people tend to stay the same, some do in fact have a change of heart and behavior. Some prejudiced people or those who think that people are mostly unworthy of admiration or chances in life have independently learned that their previous attitudes and ideas were wrong – and they changed.

Through much of our lives, we seem to be able to drift through without much challenge or circumstances which test our beliefs. At other times, it seems as if life is a barrage of varying levels of self-examination. Whether life throws death, divorce, job changes or new people and ideas at us, some periods in our lives are much more likely to affect how we feel or think about the world.

From an outsider’s perspective, the changes can sometimes seem to be without reason or merit. Although we live in a physical world, the important changes in our lives are being formed in our thoughts and minds, independently.  All of us have mental lines of thought going on in our heads, continuously. Only we know how much events or circumstances have affected us. At times, our thoughts suddenly and noticeably change our behavior.

A relatively minor death of someone we casually know can sometimes evoke a much longer-lasting ripple effect in our life than someone we would regard as closer to us. I might have read or heard a particular phrase or song 98 times and upon hearing it or reading it for the 99th, a floodgate of comprehension might overwhelm me. Some doors are opened even though we don’t recognize them as doors. We like to think that our lives are move evenly distributed – but it doesn’t seem to be true. Development tends to occur in messy lumps throughout my life. It also tends to sneak up behind me, even when I’m fooling myself into believing I’m living an examined life.

The ongoing challenge is to not fight against our own instincts and intellect when our fundamental view of something or someone important has shifted. It leads us to be dishonest with ourselves and those we love. Equally important, we should grant those around us the ability to change their minds or opinions without as much argument. Only the person experiencing the change of heart knows whether the change is authentic. We can make assumptions based on our experiences with another person, but we can’t be certain one way or another, not really.

Sometimes, monumental shifts occur in a very short time. We are trained to resist significant changes to anyone’s behavior or worldviews, more so with those happening in a short time. If you’ve never been friends with Muslims, it might surprise you to discover that they aren’t fundamentally different than all other people. The same is true for Christians – they are comprised of differing people. It’s okay to admit that you’ve judged and generalized all of them incorrectly in your past.

The world is such an incredibly vast, interesting place, full of an assortment of different people. Why is it is so hard to allow people to change not only how they think, but who they are? It’s nice to see people take the blinds off or examine who they are why they are doing it. It’s a luxury that even I forget is mine for the taking.

“It’s not where we’ve been that matters – it matters where we are.” -X

You probably know those people. The ones who believe that the planet is only a few thousand years old. Or worse.

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I recommend that you watch a television show called “Brain Games.” Similar shows have aired before, but “Brain Games” presents the same barrage of cognitive bias and observational issues in a non-confrontational way. While not presented with a religious agenda, it should open your eyes to the myriad ways we all have blind spots. It reiterates time after time that we all suffer from cognitive biases that we aren’t even aware of. I know I do. I’m constantly telling people: “We are all wrong and stupid, just at different times. If we were all dumb and wrong at the same time, the world would probably stop on its axis.” Our overconfidence in what we “know” to be true is one of our biggest enemies. I try to remind myself that my opinions should change with new information – and to be open to reasoned, logical evidence.

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It’s not a question of intelligence. It really isn’t. Attempting to convince them of data is futile. Until they see the connection between flipping a light switch and electricity reaching the bulb, they won’t get it. If they are climate change deniers or believe in homeopathy, you aren’t going to convince them with direct evidence. Their refusal to see is a shield and testament of their faith. Instead of wasting your time futilely attempting to get the illogical ones to change their outlooks, focus on people of faith whose belief systems encourage critical thinking and a stewardship of our planet and each other.

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Working to get some people to see the light of the real, practical world will only anger them and cause a backlash. You have to let them believe all sorts of things – even things that seem patently absurd to you. Many of them erroneously think that all theories are equal and that the scientific method is no better than creationism. No amount of evidence is ever going to open their eyes. Stop fighting them. They will always be present. It’s whack-a-mole. You are only angering them, even if they don’t directly confront you about it. Many people hold angry grudges toward those who are confident in their beliefs, whether scientific or religious.

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We all have our peculiar ideas, cognitive biases, and stubbornness to adhere to ideas that simply aren’t true. Some of them rise to the level of idiocy, it is true, but remember that all of us are born ignorant and through a series of educational opportunities, we learn that our planet revolves around the sun, racing across vast expanses of space, and that DNA is our genetic blueprint.

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Let other people be stupid. Even if it hurts. Perhaps they can show you the same courtesy. I know that you’re thinking that you don’t have any ideas that are stupid. But others think you do and they are judging you based on their conviction that some of your ideas are ridiculous too…

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You’ll turn on the television today and see people saying all sorts of stupid, unscientific things, arguing against basic human decency, proposing that we fight another war, or use our resources toward profit instead of improving our human potential. Your social media will be stuffed with crazy talk.

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Resist the urge to argue or lash out about it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_bias

Worrying about centralized control of healthcare is one of those things that doesn’t occur to me to worry about. Each of us should have access to adequate medical care. If this means that some of us lose choices in the bargain, in reality it means that those who are poorer will have fewer choices – the wealthy will continue to afford healthcare characterized by greater access and flexibility – and that is perfectly fine. We are all paying indirectly for those without adequate medical care now, whether we agree with it or not. Our current system isn’t going to fix any of those problems. A shift is going to occur in our focus, whether we wish it so or not. Economics and limited resources are going to continue to push us toward a different way of helping each other with medical care.

If you can pay for greater flexibility, who am I to stammer and complain about it? It’s my hope that people with greater means focus on gratitude toward their health, or the ability to afford treatment anytime that it is needed. If you have a good life and the ability to help the rest of your society provide basic access to everyone else, I think this is one of the best civic undertakings you can aid. Instead of focusing on the potential for abuse or the unfairness of having to pay for other people’s care, please focus instead on the idea that you are doing your fellow human beings a great service. The future is uncertain and economics can swing against your fortune most inopportunely. While I can’t say with certainty that we don’t need another fleet of billion-dollar jets, I can say in good faith that a lot of people in Northwest Arkansas and elsewhere need better access to healthcare. As a society, I think that basic healthcare is something that we should be willing to pay for. If it means that infrastructure or defense priorities decrease for a greater investment in people’s health, I’m ready to vote for it tomorrow.

When I go to the doctor, I don’t expect or demand to be treated by a specific doctor or worry that my care will be less. I’m assuming that my insurance and healthcare system is looking out for me. I would gladly give up choices of my own if it means that people have any access at all to medical help. I’ve been lucky so far in my life that nothing catastrophic has happened to me. It’s happened to people I love, a few times with no warning whatsoever. I know that the pendulum of misfortune can hit me – and anyone else even when we do everything right.

No matter how well you live your life, spend your money, and make personal choices in your life, tragedy and circumstance can befall any of us. Whether it is pancreatic cancer, stroke, kidney disease, heart disease, or any other life-altering illness, I would want each person to have access to healthcare, even if it is unable to be paid for. Anyone needing it should have the medication necessary to sustain their lives. I want it not only because it could just as easily be me one day, but because it is the right thing to do. Thinking about everyone’s healthcare is one of those things that future generations will be astounded about when they look back at us and question our priorities.

Going forward, I think it is only fair that everyone who knows me understands that I believe each citizen should enjoy universal access to medicine, even if they can’t pay for it. Doctors, nurses, and other necessary medical professionals should be trained without concern for paying for their education and training. These professions, among others, need to be designated as “public good” and encouraged with our resources.

While any system governed by bureaucracy would certainly have significant pitfalls, I’m ready to see us prioritize our healthcare system in such a way as to encourage and reward those who choose it as a profession – and find it in our collective hearts and conscience to help anyone who needs medical help without looking first into their wallet.

On a personal note, most of us have had those moments, especially on social media, where someone notices or comments on words being used in posts, whether we hit “like” on a Facebook post containing “bad” words, or “favorited” them on Twitter, or whether we ourselves have used words which someone finds objectionable. I have a wide mix of friends, from the entire spectrum of educational ranges, including both devoutly religious people as well as atheists. We all know how our internal filters challenges us as we reveal ourselves to the world. Do we worry about the words we use? Is the possibility of someone thinking less of us because of the words we use – or “like” passively – going to censor our own comfort zone? I’m tired of being concerned that I’ve interacted with someone who has chosen to use profanity in social media.

For the record, profanity per se isn’t controversial for me. Much of the content generated by opinionated people is going to contain a huge variety of language, warts and all. I watch a lot of television and movies containing profanity. It would never occur to me to avoid it solely due to language content.

Like most things, “profanity” is truly in the eye/ear/mind of the beholder. For the purposes of this, I’m mostly referring to the spoken or written word. Flip a coin – it’s just semantics. For some, “ass” is a word carefully used, while others use the vocabulary of a naval veteran and no word is forbidden to them, even on social media.

It’s not a question of sin, whatever and however you define it. We create the words, shape their meanings, and give them power. Try as you might, adding an element of morality to an issue involving mainly social grace and etiquette is a disservice to language and weakens any attempt to clothe it in religious ideology. Puritans who cry at the mere idea of cursing fatigue me. There is no innate sin to be found in profanity. Words are substitutes for feelings, thought, and ideas and no better or worse than the feelings, thoughts, and ideas they represent. Profanity exists because we have decided that it does and under what circumstances it might be acceptable. That’s just my opinion.  I wouldn’t go into a roomful of children and start reciting Pantera lyrics, nor would I deliberately punish your eyes and ears with inappropriate words.

Profanity exists in some form in every language. And it always has. It must be fun for someone!

While in certain circumstances profanity can add necessary emphasis, I can’t stand unadulterated profanity, the truth is that people who rant on and on about profanity and its unpleasantness are sometimes more vulgar to me than those who curse sparingly. Those who curse unceasingly are guilty of of excess and a lack of creativity – that irks me, too.

(As an aside, I’ve also seen a lot of mean behavior coming from those who get angry when they are exposed to profanity, however they define it. I’ve seen some real violence coming from the objectors, aimed toward those allegedly doing the offending. Being able to label words as profanity has given some people the illusory ability to demonize or judge their counterparts.)

While I always try to be mindful about over-indulgent cursing, the truth is that profanity adds character, spice, and accent to many conversations. (Sometimes it is effective at ending conversations, too.)

Wantonly cursing around someone who has a genuine dislike for it is not okay, either. There must be a balance between your usage of profane language and the sensibilities, if genuine, of the other person. People who insist on wearing their list of profane words on their sleeves, ever vigilant toward transgressors, should not be given undue attention.

Once you examine the ideas of profane words, you will find that there isn’t a consensus, even among the religious conservatives, as to what words are profanity and which aren’t.

But we will all agree that, in general, swearing won’t win you a Nobel Prize, land you a great job after an interview, or usually lend credence to your otherwise valid argument. I owe the existence of profanity to the schizophrenia inherent in our society. Our vain attempts to control thought and behavior inevitably fail when we extend this reach to language. We will always try, of course, but profanity will also shift, creating new words and unintended “offense” to those who agree to find it.

Profanity only holds the power all of us give to it. No more, no less. It is our fault that such a thing exists, even as a concept.

I would ask that anyone reading this listen closely to the words you loosely think of as “bad” and think about these words in the context of language. Most people who curse, I’ve found, do so knowing that they don’t really care, they just don’t want it to be noticed by certain friends, family and society. It is an issue of reputation and seemliness. Others, of course, resoundingly denounce cursing in any form, in any setting, for whatever reason.

If I use a word that you find objectionable, I’m not using it to punish you. If I hit like or comment on posts which contain profanity, you are going to have to decide for yourself whether that lessens me as a person or not. It is your opinion and you own it, not me. I’m not going out of my way to curse to draw attention and it in no way should be taken as a personal affront.