Inopportune (A Song)

You enter a small, intimate club. A piano, backlit by a soft light, is on the small stage up front. A microphone stand is to the right of the piano. The singer is due to come to the stage at any moment. You sit facing the stage. To your left is your husband, who looks across at you nervously. He admires you and your dress, then smiles.

A brightly-dressed woman with hair wrapped like days of old enters the stage from the left. She sits at the piano, adjusts the hem of her mid-thigh dress, and nods. The audience lights go dim.

Your husband abruptly stands, bows slightly toward you, and then makes his way through the onlookers.

As he climbs the five steps up to the stage, you realize he’s conjured a surprise. Long past are the days when such surprise once ruled your lives. Unbeknownst to you, that drives his nervous legs onto the stage.

He turns briefly to the pianist, who smiles, nods, and places her hands above the piano keys. His right hand cradles the old microphone as his left grips the stand below.

“I know we’ve lost a touch of magic over the years. I miss the connection we once took for granted. I still see the same bright, beautiful woman I met all those years ago. This song is for you, hoping you want to rekindle the flame that needs fragile attention.”

And the music begins to play…
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Inopportune

[Verse 1]
swallowed desire doesn’t nourish a soul
lasting long enough, it takes its toll
like standing at a banquet admiring the food
wondering why no one hands you a spoon

[Pre-Chorus]
beauty gives confidence; therein lies a truth
but it also lies to those who perceive it
any fool will throw away the pan
if they can’t find the gold

[Chorus]
we don’t live in a theory or in our heads
the same beauty you relish is a pain to behold
you might as well be standing on the moon
seeing but not experiencing is inopportune

[Verse 2]
if it’s all take and no give, what’s the point
you might as well be looking at a painting
behind an impenetrable blindfold
keeping your secret desires untold

[Pre-Chorus]
we want admiration, desire, and passion
without it, we might as well dine on air
it isn’t enough to be standing and staring
a cyclone of needless despairing

(chorus)
we don’t live in a theory or in our heads
the same beauty you relish is a pain to behold
you might as well be standing on the moon
seeing but not experiencing is inopportune

[Outro]
food for the eyes is food for the soul
the primal beat of our human hearts

The Great Experiment

I was in DC when I was young. Historical monuments and artefacts take on different meanings as you experience more in life. Witnessing the ebb and flow of government and the people who deem themselves worthy to serve us as public servants.

As for the Declaration of Independence, I can’t read it without feeling as if bolts of hypocritical lightning might strike me. Only a small percentage of adults have read the entirety of the document. Read it again if you have a few minutes and tell me that you don’t feel massive cognitive dissonance upon doing so. Regardless of your political affiliation, you will feel twinges of recognition in light of current events.

Most of us were taught that the document embodied the ideals of those who assembled around it. But then we independently learned about the struggles of women and minorities wanting their place at the table along the white men who kept a straight face while signing a document indicating that we are all equal.

Two and a half centuries later, we’re struggling with the consequences of corrupted capitalism, oligarchy, and white christian nationalism, all of which now boil in the crucible focused by someone who has no substantive interest in treating the Constitution as sacred.

It’s strange to me that as individuals we mostly want to be left alone, yet so quickly join forces with movements and groups that collectively seek to accentuate inequality and promote favoritism toward their particular cause.

I’m a liberal and as such, I relish the days when we actually return to following the concepts of the Constitution. That we stop saying words like equality if we are going to behave as if the term applies only to our cohort. If we continue down this road toward marginalization or reduction in freedoms while simultaneously imposing a particular religious viewpoint or worldview, it is a certainty how this great experiment will end.

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Red Moon Eclipse

Because I’m up early enough every morning, I went outside to enjoy the beautiful weather at 1:00 a.m. and to watch the red blood moon eclipse. As with so many things, it doesn’t matter whether I post a beautiful well-defined picture or a careless one. I took pictures when the moon was crimson, but oddly prefer the crescent-lit luminescent bites of the Moon. You can find beautiful red shots of the moon in other places. All of them will render second hand experiences if you weren’t up and outside to witness it

Pictures have meaning when they are anchored to first-hand experiences. To stand outside barefoot close to the Ides of March, looking up to the sky in the dead of the morning was special. But it’s like trying to explain the color blue to someone without vision. It was my stolen moment and I’m sorry you weren’t there to witness it.

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(An Odd Zen Realization)

Every path comes with a price.

Decisions narrow your options. 

You can’t travel to two places simultaneously.

To choose one thing lessens your ability to do others. 

To choose one person is an exclusionary decision.

Specializing in one job means you can’t work elsewhere. 

Setting aside time for a hobby reduces the time, energy, and concentration for others. 

The contradiction in life is that unlimited choices aren’t real. 

Once you’ve chosen, the battle is appreciating the hobbies, the people, the job, the place you live, and all the results of narrowing your options. 

In all things, be as enthusiastic as possible in the choices you’ve made.

Happiness results from freely choosing and doubling down on what you’ve chosen. 

Freedom is the ability to make those choices. 

Money can’t buy happiness but it definitely provides options. 

Perversely, most people do not take fruitful advantage of the options that money provides and instead insist on accumulating more wealth. 

What would your life look like if  your financial situation could never improve?

Make your choices deliberately and wisely.

Time is limited. 

Avoid passive choices or paths you didn’t take on purpose.

What approaches us will likely greatly reduce our ability to make choices. 

Chaos is inevitable and you need to understand that even if you do everything correctly, you can still fail by whatever measure you judge by. 

We live our lives independently, but each of us is subject to a myriad list of things out of our control.

Each of us will need to adopt a new attitude and find ways to do more than merely survive. 

If you can’t be creative and find a way to live meaningfully when things get tough, you will needlessly suffer.

There should be no shame or regret if your choice is to live in the moment.

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Hate

Earlier today, someone shouted an old Spanish nickname of mine. It was an odd place to hear an old nickname. I remembered him immediately because he had the same smile, although it was hidden behind twenty additional years of hard-earned wrinkles. I will call him Sonrisa.

He told me he works with my old friend Carlos. After joking about the unlikelihood of Carlos working much and sharing a laugh, Sonrisa told me that Carlos was giving up on getting the citizenship that he had been promised for years. Both Carlos and Sonrisa are incredibly hard workers. Sonrisa told me a version of the same story I’ve been hearing repeatedly over the last few months: most of their cohort has given up on the United States being the promised land it once was. 

They’ll probably return to El Salvador. It will be a loss for everyone. Not only are they hard workers, but they’re funny even in English. 

They didn’t used to be prone to cynicism. Sonrisa remembered that I was one of the few gringos who actively stood out in the crowd in recognition of the contribution of Latinos. 

He wasn’t surprised when I told him that there was not much hope in sight to feel respected as long as the current crowd of political idiots get their way. 

I’m paraphrasing, but Sonrisa added, “You know he’s an idiot when he starts a fight with a friendly white country like Canada. I know if we go back to El Salvador we’ll experience similar authoritarian BS like we do here. But at least it won’t be based on prejudice.” He added, “I remember years ago when you said it was better for people to curse you directly to your face because then at least you knew who they were. We had a few great years here where the racists mostly kept to theirselves. We always knew it was there. But now? He gave them permission and gasoline to act openly.”

There’s no need to explain what people mean when they use the word ‘HE.”

I waved goodbye to Sonrisa and asked him to tell Carlos hello for me.

I silently hoped that 47 and the people who support him don’t get their way. But on the other hand, as always, a little part of me also hoped that they would continue to f*** around and find out.

Not only about the absence of a sufficient workforce to prop up our economy, but also the unavoidable consequences of believing that you can denigrate one group of people without harming the respect threshold for everyone else 

Hate breeds hate, and distrust contaminates everyone. 

There is no “them.” They are us and vice versa. You’ve simply avoided being targeted. Yet. 

Authoritarians and those who believe they have the right of superiority are never content. Fear-mongering is an appetite that never lessens.

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Over

47 himself said any president who presides over a 1,000 point drop on the DOW should be impeached immediately. We owe it to a man of such high honor to be held accountable to his own words. Unless they were just one in a million examples of the fatuous bullsh*t he’ll say to dupe enough people to be king.

He’ll offer his hateful brand of politics at the State of the Union address. Countless people who know better but feel like they have no choice will line up behind him to defend the nonsense he manages to enunciate.

Meanwhile, the country is in disarray. It certainly was not perfect prior to the second coming of 47, but it was manageable and subject to the terms and conditions of rationality and sometimes broken cooperation.

The carnage he creates will continue. The water will grow hotter and he will continue to create divides among those of us who would otherwise disagree passionately but still proceed about the business of living our lives in this country.

Donald, as Justin Trudeau correctly named him today, will destabilize our government sufficiently to render it unrecognizable. Even to those who support him. He’s already managed to destroy decades of relationships with our allies. Mathematically speaking, two points are sufficient to draw an infinite line. Likewise, the arc and trajectory of what he’s doing can only end in one place.

I catch myself wishing he would just get it over with and succeed in his ultimate goal to destroy the history and authority of the government we’ve all enjoyed until this point. So that in this manner, we would have no choice but to turn our eyes towards survival instead of feeding our souls with the foolish hope that the people we elected will stand up and demand that the Constitution be followed and to tell him that no man has the authority to circumvent the political process.

If we continue on this course, 47 will be the last president of the United States as we know it.

Chicken Little no longer has the energy to run amok and squawk that the sky is falling.

For all his supporters, I hope you get what you wish and deserve in your choices. That this paragraph sounds like a warning should itself be a worthy indicator of what you’ve chosen.

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The Danger of Uncertainty

One of the reasons apocalyptic shows and books are so fascinating is that they share the themes of human morality. When deprived of food, comfort, or stability, our prefrontal cortex surrenders to the amygdala, the lizard part of our brains. One of the truths of human nature is that much of our morality is built on the foundation of having our basic needs met. When your brain overwhelms your critical thinking, it takes a massive effort to overcome the instinctive response that results. People underestimate how complex our instinct mode is – or fail to appreciate how our brains misinterpret danger signals, even in everyday life. In short, you can’t think about goodwill toward men or write poetry when your belly growls.

The above partially explains why judging someone is easier when things get complicated.

This is one reason massive social change is a losing bet. While people might be fed, they lose their sense of continuity, security, and stability. Going hungry pulls the nail out of human decency. Too much change takes away people’s ability to cope. This is true even if the changes are favorable. It’s no accident that rapid technological change and its consequences bring anxiety. Because we’re all sitting in the same soup pot, we frequently fail to see the bigger picture because we focus on the symptoms rather than the central issue.

This is obvious to those of us who were threatened by the absence of our needs being met growing up—those who haven’t don’t experience the same reality. Your body and brain don’t forget the trauma caused by feeling threatened or in danger.

If a person or people in society reach the tipping point toward helplessness, things get ugly quickly. The 4% rule stipulates that only a tiny portion of the population can trigger massive social movements or react to sudden changes. It’s as if our collective subconscious realizes that the status quo isn’t working. We often seek a resolution, even a bad one, over continuing in the current state. We sometimes burn down the house to get rid of the houseflies.

This is another valid argument for ensuring that we care for everyone’s basic needs. If we do not strive to meet people’s basic needs, chaos will bubble up – and often universally trigger a volatile reaction.

Some are blind to the ideal of the American Dream that most of us grew up believing: work hard and be rewarded. Or that government is the cohesive force behind it all to provide stability. Current events have put these components in jeopardy. You can’t effectively destabilize the government without hitting the hornet’s nest of societal upheaval. If you monkey with the stability variable, you’ll get some nasty results. People will set their metaphorical houses on fire instead of rationally attempting to adjust to what feels like uncontrollable chaos.

It’s fascinating to watch the younger generations react. They are the critical ones, watching and learning invisible lessons. It falls to them to decide what will become of the mess the dinosaurs of today are creating. They don’t see themselves as the future because, like us, they mostly grew up thinking that society’s undefined “adults” had things in check. We do not. We are winging it and ignoring the dangers of continuing on this path of uncertainty.

These are just thoughts that not everyone understands.

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Fool’s Wish

Praying isn’t going to help my helpless and hopeless friends
God slept through the Holocaust, so I doubt he cares how this ends
He might have put all this in motion, but he’s left the building

Though you think you’re on the side of righteous
The other side thinks you’re completely wrong
Ain’t no use competing with deafness and fervor


We have to run and jump in the water no matter how deep we find it
Some of us are going to get pushed and experience confinement
But that’s going to happen anyway, even if we keep our hands at our sides

What you don’t know about bullies is that they don’t need an excuse
They’ll punch you even if your arms are at your sides
It’s a lesson learned by millions of women throughout history

Some people need enemies no matter how they find the world
Others take pleasure in inflicting harm and constant pain
You can’t placate or talk them down from their thrones

Bullies are hard-wired to respect nothing but violence
It takes a greater force to shut them up for good
Waiting for someone to step in is a fool’s greatest wish

No logic, compassion, or love will reach them
Wishing it won’t make it so
The only thing understood is karmic retaliation

God slept through the holocaust, so I doubt he cares how this ends