X
Map Music Humor
All posts by X Teri
Music Grammar Joke
Many people are unaware of the fact that the song, “How Do I Live Without U” was inspired by a minimally malfunctional typewriter.
X
New (Nude) Fence
A new house is being finished adjacent to my apartment simplex. I told the landlord that I GUARANTEE I could get the new owners to cough up a new privacy fence if we take down the old one. He seemed doubtful: “That’s a lot of money. I don’t see how.” I smiled and said, “I’ll do the cleanup by the fence naked.” I could hear his eyeroll from five feet away.
.
To P Or Not To P
“No one is as focused on both math and time as someone on the interstate trying to determine if they really need to be or not.” -X
Dummy
“Who left the make-out mannequin in the hallway?”
“You mean the CPR dummy?”
“Uh, that explains an awful lot.”
.
Priorities
From my new book, “How Not To Manage.”
So many of us go to work and put our nose to the grindstone. And sometimes we have people who are focused on extraneous things instead of getting the actual work done.
Love, X
He’s 15!
My tuxedo cat Güino is 15 today. He already celebrated by running out the door when I got up. He is amazingly spry for a cat his age and has always maintained his weight with unlimited food available for him. I snapped this picture yesterday afternoon as he lay in his massive cat castle structures in the main front window. The sun had warmed him so much that I thought I might be able to hear the microwave ding to let me know he was done cooking. He won’t get a cake, but he’ll get a barrage of cat juice and soft treats. Pretty much like he does every day. The life of a cat and companion.
P.S. His eye looks odd because he had been tucked into a ball before I roused him to take the picture.
Fire Brings Fire
Love, X
W I L L
“I must break you.” Drago, from Rocky IV, as he stares at Rocky.
I love the line because it’s a metaphor or simile, or whatever the correct nonsensical grammar construct it is.
It does seem like life needs to break us. We are all supposed to experience the humility and realization that life is relentless and that we must rely on other people to be full people ourselves.
I like to joke that the only reason any of us keep our sanity is that life spaces out the punches enough instead of administering them simultaneously. Our conscious minds have memory and often torture us with carrying scars from the past. So the current punch overlaps with trauma and hurt that we haven’t dealt with.
Earlier in the week, I met someone who told me that she got fired one day and then found out she had cancer the next. And she’s still happy enough to keep smiling. Neither of her current obstacles are a result of her behavior.
And that’s the fun and folly of life. A lot of our misfortunes result from the recipe we follow for our lives. And the rest? They come at us randomly.
Though it’s just a movie, Rocky was outmatched by power and size. But he had something Drago didn’t. And that was the sheer magnificent power of will.
I know some of you have people like that in your life. They just seem unbeatable even though they’ve been knocked down so many times. I’m jealous of those people. They don’t have any magical or secret powers that aren’t available to the rest of us. It’s entirely mental. I need Mickey in my corner right now and Rocky’s will in my head.
Love, X
Love
Let’s stop bashing each other about our religions and spirituality. Most of us have them because they define us in an invisible way. Yes, each of us believe some things that sound crazy to other people. I say that with respect, even though at times I admit that I can’t help but laugh at some of the things we believe. I dislike religions that inspire prejudice or marginalize women from being leaders. I understand that many people find comfort in religions that seem to go against my previous comment. Most of all, I love belief that demands the golden rule and reciprocity in all things. Spirituality is personal. Most of us set aside the particulars that we don’t agree with. And in the end, that’s all that should matter. A belief that pushes us towards being a better person and a better human to those around us. Though most people disagree with me, the particular creator we hold in our heart is secondary. Because if we are mistreating ourselves and other people, we’ve already violated the main principle that I think our maker would want us to follow. And if we don’t believe in a creator, I can’t imagine any one objecting to the ideal of acting as if we’re here with purpose. We can argue and bicker like all of our ancestors have done. The bickering is a distraction. Loving people act with love. We might grit our teeth at others in the process. The goal remains the same. Love, X
+
