True story.
My manager was idly talking about his idea for a Jeopardy-style game. (…which could be quite fun…)
He said that “mythical creatures” would be a good category topic.
I immediately and without hesitation helpfully sad that “Good Managers” would be an ideal first category.
I was quite pleased with myself.
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PS One of his actual names is Bigfoot, which ties in nicely to his proposed category.
First prediction: “He’s going to turn holy water into whine.”
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I’ve invented the perfect horror house for older people during the Halloween season.
You sit in a room. In front of it is a teacher. She randomly calls on people in the room to read aloud from a book each of them is given.
Anyone who fails to get nervous or terrorized must then stand in front of the class and give a speech.
Admission is $10. To get out, you must pay $25.
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“Like a small man at a urinal, I’m going to have to stay on my toes.”
A paraphrased joke from Leslie Niellsen. He should be my spirit animal for the day and for the week.
I’ve been practicing the face that made him famous.
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Patient: “What will happen if I ignore your advice?”
Doctor: “You’ll die.”
Patient: “What’s the downside?”
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Best burn of the day:
“Trump is right about one thing. He spent more time in the courtroom than Kamala Harris. As a defendant.”
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PS It’s fun to write jokes. There is an element of truth in every joke that strikes a chord of recognition. Even if it stings. We are supposed to recognize that that stinging urge to defend should tell us something. If an opinion or joke is meaningless and invalid, we’re supposed to roll our eyes and come up with something better.
I went tree climbing a little bit earlier. I’m not perched high above the creek with my phone in my hand. I am standing in the middle of the creek in the cold water though. I saw that one side of the walkway dam had a couple dozen Osage oranges. The last time I looked them up for trivia, I was amused to see that Pennsylvania residents refer to them as ‘monkey balls.’
What still fascinates me about these and the trees that produce them is that only female trees produce the fruit. These are the largest fruits derived from trees in the United States. Thousands of years ago, these trees proliferated because mammoths would eat them and then spread the seeds as they traveled. I’ve still not tried the stinky process of roasting the seeds from these. It can’t be much different than watching my dad “cook” suspicious and unidentified meat, or looking at my mom’s famous Winston cigarette ash-speckled mashed potatoes.
I did climb the tree in the background of the photo. While I was up there, I practiced a few fake bird calls, hoping passersby might question their sanity or wonder if a small pig was being forced to listen to excerpts of Donald Trump’s book of poetry.
Ciao.
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“I knew what the canned jackass responses from the usual suspects would be.” This quote embodies 90% of the problem with social media commentary.
Be creative.
Be authentic.
Be truthful.
Most importantly, be funny.
Angry negativity compounded with excessive capitals is the communication equivalent of pooping in your own hat and then complaining that something smells.
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“You don’t have to give him hell.
He brought his own.” – X
This is obviously humor. But it is also stunningly accurate about some people. Most of them are oblivious to the negativity they bring to the room.
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Kraft Heinz didn’t respond to my new product idea.
I was especially proud of my proposed tagline: “Since you’re already drinking the Kool-Aid, why not show the world what fruity looks and tastes like?”
PS This is political humor. And since I made it, I’ll share it.
Enjoy!
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