On the heel of using some of my lottery winnings to replace the windshield of my car, today I went in for an oil change. For my car, I mean. My oil seems to be fresh. A young tech entered the waiting area where I was busy doing shenanigans. He told me he thought I had a chipmunk problem. When he came in, I expected odd news about my car. To hear the word “chipmunk” was near the bottom of the list for expectations. He went on to say that when he pulled my air filter assembly apart, he ran into a problem. I figured I was going to have to replace the air filter. Or worse. He told me that there were 50 plus acorns in there and that he used a special vacuum nozzle to get them all out. It was at that point I realized he was referring to squirrels! The lady in the waiting room with me looked up in surprise. Because the conversation was probably one of the weirdest and most rapid-fire ones she’s heard in a long time. I thanked him, after noting that whichever squirrel that was using my air assembly as a nut hoarding place was going to be plenty pissed when he returns to find his stash missing.

I’ll keep an eye out for an angry squirrel for the next few days.

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Evidently, today is the day for feline revolution.

I got up super early as I always do and went into Erika’s living room in darkness to fetch my clothes from the back of the couch. As I put on layers, something seemed off. By the time I threw my shirt on, I realized in horror that I felt wet. I stood there about 30 seconds, my mind attempting to correlate the wetness. And then I realized that either Acorn or Meatball (or both?) had taken advantage of one of their night time perches to disgorge on my nearby clothes. I evaluated my options and finally stripped down. Skulking around in the dark, I retrieved my haircut towel from the laundry hamper, loosely held it around my waist, and retrieved the ball of wet clothing. I scurried across to my apartment feeling like the cats were laughing at me. 

It gets better! Once inside my apartment, I dropped the towel and my clothes. Because my cat Güino has me trained, I walked over to give him treats before anything else. And realized I had walked through clear cat vomit in the darkness of my kitchen apartment. I put down paper towels temporarily. As I attempted to walk away, the paper towels stuck to the bottom of my left foot like industrial glue. Extricating myself from that, I threw my clothes in my laundry and walked back to the living room. I bet you can guess what happened next? Going in front of the cat tower, I stepped in my cat’s other offering in the middle of the living room floor. And then repeated the same stupid fly trap dance with more paper towels. No need for stretching this morning. The paper towel dance limbered me up nicely.

The cats sometimes occasionally vomit. How in the world they all aligned perfectly for my early Monday morning is anyone’s guess. 

Before I left for work, I asked my cat if he had any other surprises for me or if perhaps he got my extra car keys and threw up in the driver seat. 

Since the cat revolution has already started, It will be too late for you by the time you read this. I apologize on behalf of all the cats for your sticky feet. We’re lucky they do not have opposable thumbs. 

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