Category Archives: TikTok

Candles Are Meant For Rekindling

The following is a story that came from inspiration for the song linked after the story. It might be better if you listen to the song first (in the comments) and then read the story…

Candles Are Meant For Rekindling

Sam sat on the old couch, waiting for Julia to come inside from work. In front of him, one of his wife’s scented candles burned. He sat there for thirty minutes, time frozen. Tuesday afternoon would be as good a time as any to change the path of his life.

He heard her key in the lock as she came inside. When she saw him sitting on the couch with the candle in front of him, she stopped.

“What are you doing Sam?”

“I’d like to talk to you, honey.”

A strange look passed over her face, one he recognized to be fear.

“It’s not like that at all. Please sit here next to me?”

Julia dropped her purse on the coffee table near the candle and reluctantly sat down.

Sam turned slightly toward her. He took her right hand in his and cradled it with his fingers. He leaned over and kissed her. She looked bewildered.

With his left hand, he reached inside the candle and extinguished the tiny flame.

“What?” She asked

With his right hand, he pulled her hand towards his face and kissed it.

He picked up the lighter next to the candle and carefully lit the candle again.

“I’m sorry Julia. I took you for granted. I can’t explain why I let us grow distant. I relit the candle to show you that I appreciate you and love you. I can’t make up for the years that I didn’t see you for who you were.”

He looked at Julia’s face. It had softened. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

“I’m going to play a song for you. And I’d like you to sit with me and listen. We don’t need to talk. I just want you to know that I’ll never take you for granted again.”

Sam picked up the remote and hit play. The room filled with the reverb melody of the song. Though both of them preferred older music, the song captured the sound and feel of times long past.

After a few seconds, Julia leaned into him and sighed.

They sat and listened, leaning further into one another. Sam smiled. Although nothing had changed, he could feel that everything had shifted.

End…

.

Where love resides, words are superfluous. Presence and appreciation are the only requirements. Love set aside for a future day is a fool’s folly.

May the love you have be rekindled with the reverb of a distant melody.

Love, X

Who We Are

I’m a very hands-on affectionate person. Could it be a trauma response to my childhood? I hope so. I unilaterally rejected almost all the behaviors and habits of my parents. There are some consequences to growing up that way that have positive benefits. I’m not worried about being emotional, saying I love you, hugging, or expressing myself. I’m not aggressive, but there is a buried hardness inside me thanks to my dad. I didn’t realize that it could be a good thing until much later in life. It’s there if needed. My instincts are a guide for me. That too is probably a trauma response. I’m aware of the fact that it developed from needing to be dialed into the potential for drama and violence and the danger of lesser people. It can be an anxiety response that doesn’t serve my happiness sometimes. But its presence and the overthinking it causes has at times been a lightning bolt in my head that frequently categorizes people for me, even when there’s nothing observable to justify it. I can’t change things that happened decades ago. Likewise, I am happy that the maelstrom of toxicity affected me. I would have rather grown up otherwise. I can’t change that, though. I wish I could double back twenty years and see if these realizations would yield a different me. But that past thinking always robs the present and the future. I’m me, and you’re you. Both of us have the opportunity to redefine and discard the things about ourselves that don’t work well for us. Mostly, though? We don’t. Change is hard, insight is sporadic, and the motivation to put in the work to be who we’d like is unimaginably uncomfortable. Love, X

Confidant

Most people don’t have someone to be their inner voice, someone who will tell them unflinchingly what they might not want to hear. We’ve all learned the horror of making the mistake of saying what needs to be said. Very few of us embrace and welcome loving criticism. Because most of us have blind spots that grow over time. Love, X

Somewhere

If you think about the fact that somewhere right now, there’s someone who is starving for what you can give, it can be both unnerving and comforting. Finding that person in the haystack is the obstacle. As difficult as it is, I know the only way to find that person is to wear your heart and thoughts on your sleeve. But that’s not what we do. We play it safe right down the middle, mostly believing that’s the best way. At that point, many of us are stuck in that role. As contradictory as it sounds, you do have to come across authentically. It’s that position of trust in yourself and in others that helps you find what you’re looking for and need.

Love, X

The Ball Rule, 3 Posts

These are in reverse order, with the most recent first. The Ball Rule is one of those obvious and succinct ways to describe a problem that most couples have.

Weight Loss Motivation

I haven’t done well writing for my blog, mainly because I’ve been creating videos for myself and others.

Here are the weight-loss-related videos I’ve done for my TikTok.