“Optimism & opportunity: In a world in which a boy named Marion can grow up to be ‘The Duke,’ almost anything is possible.” -X

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“If baseball were a food, it would be earwax.” – X

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As many of you know, I’m a car nut. I love building motors and fixing vehicles. Just kidding! I felt like a NASA engineer figuring out how Ford managed to hide a simple blinker bulb in the rear assembly of my Ford Focus this afternoon. The neighbors watched in amusement as I drove a victory lap around the block in celebration. ‪

#blinkerfluid

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I thought the sign said “Veto today,” so I said “NO!” to everyone and wrote large red “X”s on all the documents I encountered.

“I didn’t go swimming with the dolphins but I did cut my foot on a rusted tuna can.” -X

The above picture is one I made to start my wife’s day off. The head of the baby doll is my sister-in-law. The man in the picture is Tig from “Sons of Anarchy.” If I were to tie him up in my sister-in-law’s extra room, he would go stark raving mad from horror.

From a series of ideas and stories I’ve started calling “NeitherWorld.”

The next picture is from a night of bad karaoke…

The first portion is supposed to be funny, in light of the recent mess with the Oregon militia.

I’m going to start my own militia. We are not going to stockpile weapons or take turns butchering interpretations of our nation’s laws. Our primary focus will be to eradicate that most vile of social ills: the ham sandwich.

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The following is what I posted around the time of the Liberty Bowl, a collegiate football competition…

I heard a rumor that the primary geographical public university for this area competed in a NCAA-sanctioned bowl of little import today, against a team that could best be described as “the puny kid next door.” We evidently utilized our student athletes, all volunteers, who used their collective brainpower to transport the pig-skin prolate spheroid across an imaginary line with greater frequency than the opponents. As a result, the $11,000 per day coach will now receive an additional financial reward, of which I’m proud, as priorities must be honored in the appropriate order.

Non-spoiler alert for anyone unlucky enough to be keeping up with the U.S. “Downton Abbey” schedule instead of the UK one: everyone and everything ends well. The Christmas special which also serves as the series finale was simply as heart-felt as any hour or so of television could ever be.
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“Hand of God” on Amazon is a spectacular tv show. Ron Perlman’s performance was so great it prompted me to start “Sons of Anarchy,” which I’ve ignored all these years.
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“Don’t Look Black,” Misheard Racist Boston Song Title
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When someone knocks, I instead ask “Who isn’t it?” In this way, when they respond incorrectly, I don’t have to open the door.
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I’m writing a TV script titled “M o p s t e r.” It’s about a mafia family which owns a cleaning supply business.
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When someone knocks, I instead ask “Who isn’t it?” In this way, when they respond incorrectly, I don’t have to open the door.
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It’s not my fault that eggs are conveniently made in hand-sized throwing shapes. (Possible defense if I ever get arresting for egging someone.)

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Or we could hold the grouchy one down and put crayons up his or her nose until a smile appears?

The picture below is one I compiled from a lot of photo editing work over the year. I used it on my social media background. I love these kinds of pictures.

This picture is one I made of a friend who attends Notre Dame. I used a senior high school picture. The purpose was to compare and inquire as to how surreal the difference in worlds might be – separated by a mere year in time.

“Familiarity breeds contempt.” It is a slow painful emotional death to realize that time has wedged such a distance between two people that one or both turn to others for the sharp surprise of intimacy from others, only to repeat the process anew.