My next door neighbor “Phillip” forgot about my cameras.
I turned on “Magic Mode,” a new feature for Wyze cameras. I didn’t read the tutorial about the new capabilities of my cameras. Evidently, the camera is magic due to its ability to see things as they are, instead of concealing what’s right in front of us.
Although “Phillip” rides a motorcycle most of the time, I realized that each year as fall deepens, the smell of cinnamon and pine seem to fill the air when he walks by. I hear strange bells at night. My cat Güino does too. His little ears are constantly pointing up and in the direction of the apartment next door.
You’ll note in the pictures that my Wyze cameras are now revealing an obvious fact: my next door neighbor is Santa.
He pulls a trailer behind his truck when he’s not riding his motorcycle. He’s not fooling anyone. That’s just a sleigh cleverly disguised.
To add insult to injury, take a look at what his huge red gift bag says: “Not Santa.” I bet if I ask him about that, he’ll say he’s being ironic and funny.
I fully expect that by the time December greets us, “Phillip’s” costume will morph into the red and white clothing of Santa that we all recognize and love.
I know “Phillip” won’t put me on the naughty list. Not because I don’t deserve it, but because my name is already there, so there’s no point duplicating the effort.
I’ll keep y’all updated.
PS The magic mode is truly magical for my cameras. (Also, you’ll note that FB has tried to tag these photos as AI. Santa has a powerful reach, doesn’t he?)
I used one of the eggs given to me by a friend on my birthday. And the dollar coin a stranger surprised me with. I helped him and he gave me a little bit of story and magic to pass along. So I am. I carried the coin with me several days, waiting for the right opportunity. But I was too much in my head. I’ll leave this egg and others. Someone’s curiosity will get the best of them and they’ll find the egg and open it. And of course I love imagining what they will think of it. I hope whoever finds it is someone with a little bit of capricious magic. The orange sheet of paper contains a little bit of an explanation that I’ll put it inside the egg with the coin. I’m not sure where I’ll place the egg. That’s part of the fun.
Someone ran into me and I did what I always do: I said, “Sorry.”
He snapped back something angry.
I politely replied, “We all mistakes. Have a good one.”
I foolishly thought that was the end of it. I did everything right.
The universe had other plans. It was obvious he needed to infect someone else with his anger at the world.
“Well, you look like you make an awful lot of mistakes.” He said it was that particular kind of verbal venom that characterizes someone consumed by an unhappy life.
Even while I recognized this, my quick wit overpowered me, and these words came out: “Me and your mom, evidently.”
The even angrier words he followed up with bounced off my back as I walked away.
When I went outside at work, the wind gusted with surprising speed. It seemed like every leaf in NWA was twirling and spinning, even inside the concrete jungle around me. It took me a moment to realize I was witnessing a dust devil comprised of leaves. The inside crux of the tall buildings created an unnatural barrier against which opposing and contradictory wind gusts collided. Because I woke up with more energy than any one person should have, I took off running and chased it before it dissipated. I succeeded in running through it for two seconds. The number of leaves that touched me is unknowable. But the tickling sensation was divine. I probably looked like a damn fool. In fact, I usually do. I’ll take that any day if I can get that kind of sensation. Especially at work. Having fun at work is tantamount to stealing, you know.
Not bad for a Monday morning. Or any morning.
The picture contains the piled remains of the moment, a steadily decreasing number of leaves in each pile.
The previous bout of weather knocked the rabbit from its perch and shattered it. I painstakingly patched and fixed it. This time I’ll bedazzled it a little bit. I put a watch below it, one set to 1:43 p.m. which is what time I was born about 394 years ago. .
If you’re like me, you read a wide variety of blogs. Not all are created equal.
I have two to recommend to you. Both are written by the same “clever girl” mind. She’s smart, focused, and also writing through her experiences as a human being. She isn’t a writer by profession; that will probably change over time.
The first is a blog dedicated to her ordeal, anguish, and recovery as she deals with her life intersecting with a villainous human being.
The second is one she recently started in response to the amassing stockpile of creativity she fills her head with. I expect great things to blossom from her second blog.
Over the last few days, I painted another 6″ X 24″ tile. I drilled holes in six places to make it easier to secure safely in my surprise location. I glued dozens of multi-colored glow-in-the-dark rocks to the front. On the back, I wrote a truth of mine in marker. The truth is very personal. Anyone who wants to know it will have to climb a considerable height to do so.
This makes me happy.
After work today, I climbed a tall tree before I lost my nerve. It’s the first tall one I’ve climbed since my surgery. It was tricky getting up there with a two-foot-long tile strung around my neck as I ascended. As far as I could tell, no one noticed me as I rose the vertical surface of the tree, carefully finding my foothold. After twenty feet, my reluctance vanished, and I forgot all about the possibility of falling. I’m just as likely to get killed by a rogue intestine or a plane falling out of the sky as I am climbing a tree. Besides, I laughed at the idea of my precarious fall being covered on the local news or the What’s Up, Fayetteville group. “Arts & Crafts Take Local Man’s Life” would work nicely. “Idiot Falls While Doing Performance Art” also serves its purpose.
As the limbs thinned out, I stood, watching the area below me. It was beautiful. I took the tile, ran steel wire through the open holes, and secured it from one primarily perpendicular limb. Not wanting to leave the view behind, I sat near the trunk and just felt the wind around me.
It was a stolen moment!
After a few minutes, I climbed down in one quick descent and stood back on the ground. I looked up at the pretty colored rocks and the brightly painted long tile. Yes, that would do nicely.
Where did I place the beautifully decorated tile? That’s the question, isn’t it? Take a moment and stare up into the slowly appearing upper branches of the trees around you. “Look up, not down” is not only a symbolic reminder to find yourself and answers looking directly into the world, but now also a practical guide to ever finding my hidden-in-plain-sight tilework.
Beauty is anywhere you find it, y’all. Even if you never find my tilework, look around and find the people and things that light you up. Give them attention and appreciation. From time to time, look up to behold the wonders that we forget to see. If you can do so, look at yourself in the mirror and remember that no matter who you are, someone loves you. Merry Xmas!
I got my first invitation for a Workweek Hustle Challenge on Fitbit for this week. Should I be worried? These were the stats as of 3p.m., after I went running.
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I’ve seen 6 different birds in the last 10 minutes. 7 if you count the one Steve floated at me as I went by. His didn’t have feathers though.
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I wonder how suspicious I looked early this morning, walking down Appleby. Holding multiple colorful and overstuffed bags, multiple strings of colorful balloons, a fuchsia painted skillet, and a laptop. Surely this is something everyone sees at 3:00 a.m.?
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Y’all should congratulate me. I got chosen to spearhead the new conflict resolution program at work. After careful consideration, what I came up with and made is going to save the company a lot of money..
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What a gorgeous morning it has been. It feels like March. I stood out on the landing with my dumbbells, trying to corral Güino, who was losing his mind at the sight and sound of birds and squirrels running amok. Even though I was standing right next to him while he sat on the bench next to the kitchen window, he jumped and FLEW halfway down the landing to peer into the window with lovely cats and bird feeders. You can hear me walking in my ugly flip-flops to retrieve him. He spoke to me when I picked him and cradled him. I’m pretty sure he was cursing in cat. I lovingly whispered curses at him in human. He didn’t care. He had his run and adventure. I’m also doing laundry while I exercise. I’m trying to decide what prank picture to put up in the laundry/dungeon room this week. The other fun thing is this week is sock week. As you might remember, I replace all my socks simultaneously, instead of mixing old and new like a savage. As I wear socks, I throw them out when I’m about to switch to new ones. I have one more pair before hitting the exciting milestone of opening the four dozen pairs I bought last week. Hey, you have to find the good moments in everything. It amuses me that I have to buy different socks since losing weight. I also lost an entire shoe size. I guess I had fat feet, too. A quote to close: “If you want really practical advice, you ask the black sheep of the family. With wisdom, you learn to ask them only by text.” Love, X
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Is the following comforting or anxiety-inducing?”Nearly every object in your house can be used to kill you.”I’ll bet if you’re a married man, you’ll be more likely to sleep with one eye open. .
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If you eat a dust bunny, does it count as protein? Asking for a friend.
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Well, since I’m burning 3500-4000 calories a day 5 days a week, I might have to have pizza and a banana for breakfast, ice cream and salad for lunch, and pie and broccoli for supper. I haven’t decided what to eat for second breakfast, brunch, or second supper. The fascinating thing is that I FEEL like my energy level is beyond human at times. P.S. No, I’m not pregnant.
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Evidently, I got tickets to the circus. I’m basing that solely on events already this morning. I’m definitely not the ringleader, but I suspect I might be the monkey. Happy Friday!
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Evidently, I got tickets to the circus. I’m basing that solely on events already this morning. I’m definitely not the ringleader, but I suspect I might be the monkey. Happy Friday!
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Stolen & Adapted Memes #25
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After sending my résumé to Stafford Engineering, I was excited and astonished when they called to say, “We have the perfect spot for you, X! You know the word ‘foolproof’? That’s what we’re hiring you for.”
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Stolen & Adapted Memes, #23
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Stolen & Adapted Memes #34
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11:30 p.m. musings: Guino must think it’s Xmas.
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I asked the universe for a sign. I think it said, “Don’t stand in the middle of an empty intersection at 3 a.m.”
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Quote from Reddit. I made the picture.
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Stolen meme, adapted by me. 🙂
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I propose that we put ridiculously uncomfortable speed bumps at every stop sign. Then allow anyone who wants to try to speed through to give it a shot. #letswatch.
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Quick question… I made a brooch out of a small Bic lighter… . Which explanation is more humorous? . If someone asks me how I’m feeling, should I reply and say, “I’m feeling a little lighter!” . OR “I’m wearing this in case I need to light a fire under someone’s butt?”
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Nutrition Update: I ate all but one slice of an entire large pizza, followed by a lava cake. Admission: I could have easily consumed the last piece and the box it arrived in, too. 150 or bust! And I just might after all that…Update to the update: I ate two lava cakes and ALL the pizza.
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It’s a slow process, gaining muscle. Meanwhile though, I’m going to enjoy this large box of peanut M&Ms. If you would have told me 13 months & 21 days ago that I would be struggling to gain weight to hit 150, I would have laughed for a minute. And then maybe perhaps have nodded. I can still hear the bell as it gonged in my head. For anyone worried about me being too thin, I’m not losing weight. I’m doing what’s very difficult to do at 54. And that’s to change my body mass. Unless my body throws me another surprise, I’m going to do just that.
Life has its lessons. You can’t plan for the unexpected, so have a plan to deal with that, too.
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I slept from about 9 to 6 last night, the longest I’ve slept in months. I laid and listened to the wind in the trees. It was sublime. And I knew the floor would be there to catch me if nothing else did.
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Instead of anything funny, I put this up at work on Friday.
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A friend at work surprised me with three new brooches. The lapel pin is one I made from someone’s purloined Sam’s Club card.
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The Vice Rule: invest in vice and frivolous hobbies and you’ll always have money in the bank.
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I surprised my supervisor at work with my long-held theory that he IS Bigfoot.
P.S. Parenthetically Speaking 