The Invention of New Curse Words

02/13/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

I’ve been surprisingly under the weather with some strange virus that’s left me with intense fever and body aches, ones similar to those felt after listening to a co-worker talk for fifteen minutes about how busy they are. I went to the doctor twice. It’s better to have a javelin protruding from your leg than to suffer from a virus. At least you can take the javelin out and go about your day.

Because people tend to dislike the stench of body odor, I opted to take a shower. Even though it was the last thing in the world that appealed to me. Yes, even behind voting sensibly.

I entered the bathroom and asked Alexa to play “Passera” by Il Divo. As the song began playing, Guino jumped up on the counter, expecting me to trickle the faucet for him. The song lifted my mood.

I stepped into the shower, being careful for once to keep my balance. I stood unusually close to the dual showerheads for the same reason. That’s when the fun commenced.

Being feverish causes forgetfulness and inattentiveness, not to mention really terrible hair.

I pulled the round knob out on the old assembly. It’s tricky because it can often come off. One of the many advantages of living in an older building is that you learn tricks. One of my learned tricks is to pull the control knob away quickly and with full water pressure. I always remember to check to see if the control valve is down.

Almost always.

Instead of the water coming out of the bottom spout as god intended, it came out of both shower heads at full force. With my achy skin, to say that the torrent of water that came out was cold would be the grossest of exaggerations. Because I was standing so close, the full force of the arctic blast of water covered me immediately. I tensed up as if I’d been tased. I’m not sure how I avoided falling. Had there been a window in the shower, one thirty feet above the ground, I would have gladly hurled myself through it.

Instead, I stood in the freezing water, convulsing like a suburban Karen complaining about the cheese on her Big Mac. While I can’t remember the words I shouted, they were new to me. My recovering, feverish brain opened a new portal to surprise and unhappiness as it created on-the-fly curse words for this special occasion. I shouted so loudly that I might have triggered an alarm on the vehicles outside. While I don’t remember what I shouted, the words sounded foreign and deeply insulting. Complete gibberish, as if I’d recently graduated from an Effective Management course.

I had no choice except to stand and wait for the water to warm up.

That’s how the best curse words are invented.

But I don’t recommend it.

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Humor

Last On The Bus

02/02/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

Little Bobby got hit four different times while riding home on the school bus.

The driver grew more concerned. But then he noticed that Little Bobby smiled each time another kid bullied him.

Little Bobby and his brother Mike were the last stop on the driver’s route.

As Little Bobby and his brother stood up to exit the bus, the driver stopped them.

“Little Bobby, why did you smile each time one of the kids hit you?”

Little Bobby’s older and larger brother Mike spoke first:

“Being the last people on the route means that I know where each of those bastards lives.”
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Behavior, Canada, Justice, Law, Mental Health, Opinion, Safety, Security, Social Rules

Caution For My Canadian Friends

01/26/2024 X Teri 2 Comments

Social media can be deceptive. Even convicted rapists can you use it as if everyone in the world doesn’t know their past. When you’re aware that people can remain at large in society after being found guilty of heinous behavior, it makes you cynical and paranoid. Most of us would be more comfortable being surrounded by people who’ve robbed banks. It’s not targeted and does not engage the primal fear of helplessness that personal crime does.

Eric Osborne’s blitheness on social media can’t be chalked up to obliviousness. By the point multiple people have accused you of criminal behavior, most people’s veneer of innocence dissipates. This is doubly true if you are convicted of such behavior, as is the case of our Canadian friend Eric Osborne. What creates frustration for his victims is that he’s engaging with the world, one which is largely unaware of his path of endangering women.

What’s different in the Canadian criminal system is that even victims can be subject to an injurious and nonsensical publication ban. This hinders a victim’s right to expression – a hindrance not placed upon the accused. People who have been subject to stalking, harassment, or physical harm can’t talk about the person who committed the acts. This endangers those who are exposed to the person accused of such crimes.

Eric Osborne uses his social media and internet presence to obfuscate how he has terrorized women. It’s no longer a question of opinion or he-said-she-said. Either he’s delusional and detached from the reality that he’s experienced in the criminal justice system, or he Is something else entirely. The woman who experienced him at his worst has several names for this kind of man. “Convicted” carries more weight than “accused.” That he pled guilty to charges relating to violence against women should be more than ample grounds for the Canadian justice system to act accordingly.

Southern Justice, unfortunately, isn’t an approved export.

The ongoing frustration is that he’s out of incarceration temporarily. His presence among us in free society presents of clear and present danger to those he has victimized. He’s out on a technical appeal, even though he pled guilty to similar charges against several other women. This type of insanity is part of the reason why victims become doubly victimized; first by their perpetrator and secondly by the system that allegedly protects them.

One of his very recent posts refers to people gossiping about him. I’m curious as to whether he counts the crown or the prosecution as guilty of gossip. Technically they did gossip when they arrested and then incarcerated him for crimes against women.

I will leave it to all of those curious to Google Eric Osborne and research it for themselves. He resides in Canada. It shouldn’t be difficult for anyone to find a trail of how he’s behaved and whose lives he ruined. Don’t forget to include marital and divorce records if you take a dive. Search for blogs and archives that might make mention of him.

People like him thrive in secrecy. Canada should bow its head in shame at forcing women to remain silent at any point in their experiences. And another prolonged bow for exposing its citizenry to someone who has clearly demonstrated that he’s not yet fit to be roaming the streets among civilized people. Eric is highly intelligent and adept at hiding in plain sight; this chameleon identity is what made him so successful when he chose to victimize women.

Entertainment, Movie, Opinion, Review / Critique, Social Media, Social Rules

Remakes & Covers (At The Road House)

01/26/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

Each time a movie or song is redone, I tell myself not to read the comments. I can recite the permutations verbatim without needing to dive in.

Although it surprises people, I saw the original Road House movie at the theater in 1989. Although it was a contrived and ridiculously stupid movie, I loved it. Watching it was difficult at the time because there was a large man breathing very loudly and making running commentary during the initial part of the movie. I can see why women thought Patrick Swayze was good-looking. Or Sam Elliott. And I can see why a lot of men thought the action was riveting. Of course, it was stupid. Road House and all the movies like it aren’t shooting for an Oscar. I call all these movies “Kicking Ass in Kentucky.” But Road House was entertaining stupidity. Everyone in the theater knew that the bad guy was going to get his ass kicked.

We all need this kind of story from time to time. Escapism, over-the-top romance. The movies that tap into this need have to be simplistic and badly rendered, much like our lives. Top Gun was another dose of testosterone disguised as a movie. “Reacher” on Amazon is another example of a clichè that makes for great television. I haven’t watched an episode of it. I can, however, see that it resonates for the same reason that Road House did.

A spectacular method for dealing with remakes is not to watch them. But it seems that people are incapable of finger control; they must get on the internet and insist that nothing can top the original. I love generalizing. So I will go out on the clichéd limb of saying that most of these people are the same ones who slobber as they insist that there is no good music anymore.

Almost everything is an echo and permutation of what precedes it.

True inspiration and originality are rare commodities. Almost everything is built on the back of something else or someone else’s idea.

I just wish the commenters would get a dose of what creativity feels like and avoid the relentless onslaught of repetition as they all say the same thing.

Even though I’m older, I lean in the opposite direction. Bring on the remakes and the covers. Some of them are going to be good. And some? They eclipse the original. Yes, there is going to be a lot of content and nonsense that doesn’t appeal to us. And that is precisely what makes the world of entertainment so enjoyable.

There’s something for everyone, even if we’ve seen it all before.

Love, X
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Behavior, Government, Justice, Opinion, Social Rules, Work

Act Your (W)age

01/19/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

Act Your Wage

A friend showed me a meme with this clever turn of phrase. It was in reference to the coworker we all have no matter where we work, the one who acts as if they are in charge. If you work for an organization, it’s a 100% certainty that you have at least one such coworker. Just like you undoubtedly have one that is constantly telling you how busy they are as they stand nearby with a cup of coffee in their hand.

But like all clever phrases, this one started my mind churning. We’ve all heard of quiet quitting by now.

I get paid well for my job, given the requirements. It’s physically tough at times, but my wage is aligned with the principles of fairness. The benefits I enjoy go well beyond what many receive for doing really tough jobs.

But like most people, I know a lot of people who aren’t being paid for the amount of work they do. Many of them are hardwired to do good work and to go above and beyond regardless of the wage they are earning.

I often wonder what the capitalist system would look like if everyone suddenly realized that they should act their wage. The wage they are being paid should reflect their contribution and value. That’s the theory anyway.

I feel even more strongly about this regarding people who are paid the legal minimum. Or people in the service industry being taken advantage of. The tip wage is a nasty anachronism that needs to be eliminated.

Many people have misguided ideas about the effects of higher wages on consumer prices. Even so, it’s hard to reconcile justifying such low wages based on the alleged potential consequence of higher prices. I won’t cite the numerous examples and studies that prove it’s a myth. Because people only acknowledge what already aligns with their belief system. It’s one of the many reasons I prefer to use the term living wage. All of those difficult jobs that aren’t paid sufficiently are required to keep the businesses running. We all enjoy the consequences of lower prices. All too often we do it at the expense of the people at the bottom of the pay range. Many people never have to confront the struggle of those who work hard but know that they’ll likely never escape the endless cycle of indebtedness. If you say, well, they can improve their lives. Although that’s true, we are still going to need people working the positions that others move past in such a scenario.

I look at all of these issues from a liberal viewpoint. But also a practical one. At the center of all these ideas we have are people who deserve better opportunities. I despise the system that allows anything less than a living wage. What constitutes a living wage is up for debate. What’s not on the table for discussion is that it is unethical to me that we willingly look the other way for a big segment of society. I don’t look down on anyone working fast food or cleaning the floors. All of those jobs are necessary for us to enjoy the goods and services they help provide.

Several years ago, there was a movie titled A Day Without a Mexican. It comes to mind when I think about people working for less than a living wage. I imagine a world wherein everyone making less than what is required just to stay even wakes up and refuses to participate in the rigged system.

A famous comedian once said that minimum wage is proof that many businesses would pay you less if they could. And history rubber stamps this idea by demonstrating that people lose sight of the fact that we’re supposed to be our brother’s keeper even in the pursuit of commerce or profit. For those who follow history, even the way we elect our president is a result of a segment of society insisting that enslaving people was justified based on the economic outcome.

I wonder what it might be like if those who are not being paid a living wage followed the principle of Act Your Wage.

It’s not our imagination that doom spending and disengaging from the pursuit of our alleged American dream is accelerating.

I find it hard to judge anyone who resents working hard and being unable to stay caught up. And if you tell me that people will take advantage if we put our hand out to help, my answer is, so what. You don’t fail to reward those who work hard by punishing everyone. The system is rigged in favor of those who already have more than their share.

In the same way that we could feed everyone in the world if we focused our priorities and resources, we could also easily ensure everyone has a slice of the so-called American dream. It’s not a zero-sum game.

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Lemon Moment, Personal

Cold Loneliness

01/15/2024 X Teri 1 Comment

I drove the roads at 2:00 a.m. . I didn’t have to worry about lanes because there was no other traffic to impede me. I swept my stairs again and salted them because, well, no one else was going to do it. Wearing knee-high boot covers, I didn’t have to worry about wet or cold feet. It was a balmy negative two so I didn’t have to worry about overheating as I swept some of the areas around work. I love the abandoned world that snow brings. But I did take time to stamp ribald messages in a few places with undisturbed snow. To imagine the consternation of anyone who reads them this morning. At one point, my laughter was uncontainable. My voice carried and echoed strangely across the snow and in the undisturbed world. It was beautiful, but also a bit lonely.

Lemon Moment, Personal

Cold Color

01/14/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

In the earlier hours this morning, it was one degree. With winds of about ten mph, it was breathtaking. I once worked in a -40 work environment. If you’re lucky enough to have trees with leaves still on them, you know that the melody the wind creates sounds like falling rain or heavy snow when it’s this cold. Unlike most post-midnight Saturday nights and Sunday mornings, traffic was non-existent. Everyone was huddled inside somewhere, undoubtedly with blankets piled and tucked. I walked to the road and watched and listened as the dead leaves above me rustled. It was a beautiful, abandoned world with just me in it to observe it. The crosswalk and street lights shone vividly in the air. Color in this cold takes on a new life. I stood there until the bottom of my legs began to ache from the cold. A cup of bitter coffee and another cup of hot cider waited for me back at the apartment. But still, I stood there, waiting for some unidentified moment to propel me back inside. Nothing happened. Sometimes that’s the most beautiful thing.

Art, DIY, Lemon Moment, Personal

Given Light

01/11/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

Someone asked me, “X, why haven’t you been making solar bottle lights lately?”

I was certain that the grin I gave shouted the obvious answer: “I haven’t stopped.”

In the last few months, I’ve left several in front of people’s houses with a note attached. The Johnny Appleseed of decorative solar light bottles. A few more, I’ve left in odd places where I knew they would be discovered and taken by someone interested.

I didn’t want all the bottles that had been saved and given to me to be wasted. So for anybody like Jay or Burke or others who shared their bottles, just because I haven’t mentioned it doesn’t mean I haven’t given new life to the bottles given to me. To strangers. It’s a pleasure to give one to someone personally, something I’ve made. But it turns out that it is equally fascinating to put them out in the world without having any idea about the lives of those who receive them.

This afternoon, I walked behind a building and looked over the fence. The bottle I had left on their front porch weeks ago sat facing the sun, charging as much as possible in the low winter light so that it can later add color however the new owner sees fit.

Love, X

Behavior, Opinion, Poetry And Prose, Psychology, Relationships, Writing