Book, Minimalism, Opinion, Reading, Writing

Neglected Worlds Neglected Words

09/03/2022 X Teri Leave a comment

With a couple of exceptions, I now only own 3 books. I recently passed on my favorite to someone who might discover something new, even though the words, though translated, are ancient. I don’t know how many books I’ve obtained, only to pass them on to someone else. If I do that, you should know that I found it to be meaningful and want someone to have that same feeling.

Books are worlds. Anyone who disagrees isn’t a bibliophile. I am. You wouldn’t know it by the number of books I own. Having beloved books is certainly a comfort. “I’ll grab one and re-read it,” so many say. For the most part, we don’t follow through. Life is too fast, there are too many distractions, and who has that kind of time? We all do. We just rarely make it. Also, there are so many great books being written, especially by first-time authors. If I miss a book and want to drown in it again, I will find a copy at the library or in one of the new or used bookstores here in NWA.

I love the sight of a mass of books, especially if they are haphazardly placed. This usually means the owner’s fingers often pluck them from their respective perches and read them. The same is true for worn pages, coffee stains, or signs of wear. Books are like us, wrinkles and aged experience. Their contents don’t change, but how we behold them when we take the time to read them certainly does. It’s amazing how many times I’ve reread something only to find that I have changed even though the letters I’m reading have not.

Books aren’t possessions, though we treat them as such. They are like cats, beholden to no one. They are also like cherished photos, ones that sit in closets or under beds, sealed away for safekeeping; they’d rather be seen and touched and remembered for what they are. Time will desiccate the living hands who neglect them.

They are old friends. Though unvisited, they wait for us, timeless and frozen in amber.

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Behavior, Biographical, Opinion, Personal, Racism and Prejudice, Religion, Sexuality

The Curtain

09/03/2022 X Teri 2 Comments

I’ve written personal stories about my dad Bobby Dean. He was violent and loved alcohol. He went through at least a few years smoking marijuana, too. As did mom, who would be mortified to see me write this. For people with multiple DWIs and violence issues, it’s still odd to me that they were worried about something like that. As I’ve aged, a lot of the hardness I had toward dad dissipated, in part because of the human overlap I share with him. Including base emotions. He was responsible for a lot of carnage. Paradoxically, he infected me with a sense of humor that I like about myself. There were times he genuinely helped people. The same is true for mom. It’s a struggle to separate the dichotomy of that realization.

Especially because of my multiple and ongoing surprises with both DNA and genealogy, my belief that it’s stupid to fight the disclosure that history drags with it. It doesn’t change history; it merely mirrors it. Talking openly about someone or what they did or didn’t do doesn’t change history. Revelation should not be shunned because of the possible ramifications of needing to adjust your viewpoint or opinion. Truth is truth. You can turn away from it, but it remains, whether to illuminate or to tarnish.

No matter what personal mistakes a person makes, they might otherwise have monumental or mundane accomplishments. Dumb people sometimes say intelligent things. Someone might surprise us with their dedication toward a social or religious cause. Smart people? They are the worst about careening into the abyss in their personal lives.

Behind it is a human being. They have vices, anger, sexual issues, or be terrible spouses and parents. When we get to know someone, we go beyond the easy socialization and familiarity we have with people. There’s a lot hidden behind most people’s curtains.

Martin Luther King, Jr. changed the world in so many ways. Yet, as history peels back like an onion, we discover that he had numerous affairs. He was with another woman the night before, and the day he was assassinated. He smoked and didn’t like the image it portrayed, so he kept it a secret. Times were different back then, and though the FBI violently tried to tarnish his reputation and mitigate King’s accomplishment, news outlets didn’t take the bait. Because he was also a minister, it adds a level of incredulity to most people’s heads when they dive into everything hidden behind his public persona.

JFK followed the same trajectory. He was a political visionary but also had a torrid personal life.

Gandhi? He had some wildly racist views. History indicates that he had some strange views on sexuality and was undoubtedly bisexual. You can find reputable sources and look them up yourself. When you read these words, please remember that I’m a liberal. If people are consenting and wish to live their lives the way they choose, I am without criticism. Gandhi didn’t always express his life with consenting people.

Mother Theresa? It’s almost sacrilege for most people to hear reminders that she had so much baggage that I don’t even know where to start.

I wrote earlier in the week about Dr. Seuss, a writer who gave the world a love of words and fundamental poetry. He was not his public persona.

We all write our biographies each day with the choices we make, the words we say, even the things that we believe to be hidden.

I don’t have a premise, theory, or moral to this post either.

Just thoughts piled on the floor like laundry.

X
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Poetry And Prose, Writing

Instead

09/02/2022 X Teri Leave a comment

They don’t know that one day he might leave

To a foreign place with both fear and a new beginning

The voice inside him says he must suffer the baptism of the unknown

The familiar and constant, the unease and discomfort, at least they will be new

He probably won’t though

Inertia and the familiar are both adhesive and demanding

But they don’t know sometimes his fast feet point in another direction

And he talks to his feet in his head

And stays

Instead

Behavior, Fayetteville, Lemon Moment, Personal

Of A Morning Encounter

09/02/2022 X Teri Leave a comment

Earlier this week, at a very early hour, I had a human moment, one which I will write about cautiously, against my nature.

Just a couple of nights earlier, I listened as a neighbor sat outside. His mind was at high elevation, so to speak. He had his phone in front of him, singing loudly and with an absent melody. His voice carried, even against the strident insistence of insects. I couldn’t help but laugh at the content of the song he sang. I wasn’t laughing at him per se; but his delivery and vocal content were so amusing that I couldn’t help but laugh involuntarily. So much so that even days later, I find myself singing a certain segment of what he sang.

On the morning in question, I stood on the balcony. The neighbor sat below. Something about his demeanor signaled that something was amiss. His mind was clear – and that surprised me. “I just need to talk to someone.” So, even though I needed to leave for work, I did. And he told me a story about dear friends, ones who’d moved away. Betrayal had struck them like it does so many. As we talked, his mood lifted, and I gave him a practical distraction about the absurdities of human behavior and its consequences.

It’s the terrain I know too well. I suspect most of us find familiarity in the map of mixed emotions.

I went inside, petted the cat, and headed out again. As I sat in my car, way before sunrise, I looked at him again, still sitting in silence in front of his apartment.

I ignored my inner voice and exited the car, walked over to him, and hugged him. He sobbed for a bit and then thanked me.

Presence.

It’s overlooked and sometimes feared.

But who among us doesn’t want it and need it like the oxygen we breathe?

Each of us will have a turn in our own flooded boat. Perhaps it will be invisible to those around us.

The rain falls on all of us.

I don’t have a moral to the story or a tidy bow to crown it.

Just shared words.

Sometimes, that is more than enough.

Love, X
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Book, Grammar, Language, Review / Critique

Things You Probably Didn’t Know – Dr. Seuss

08/31/2022 X Teri Leave a comment

Think of the name “Dr. Seuss.” Pronounce it in your head.

You’re wrong. Almost everyone pronounces it wrong.

He took the pseudonym from his mother’s maiden name.

All his close friends and family pronounced it to rhyme with “Joyce” or “Zoice.” If you are saying it like “Soose” or to rhyme with “Zeus,” you’re wrong.

There are multiple reasons why Dr. Seuss went along with the mispronunciation. You can look it up if you’re interested.

You’ll also discover the heart-breaking suicide of his first wife. She knew that Dr. Seuss was having an affair with one of her best friends, while significant health problems were affecting her.

Not that I ever get writer’s block, but he’d sit in a room of hats and try one on to stimulate his creativity.

Depending on whom you ask, he might have coined the word “Nerd” in his book, “If I Ran To The Zoo.” That book is no longer printed, among several others, for reasons based on perceived prejudice. He also wrote and illustrated a book for adults about seven naked ladies.

“Green Eggs And Ham” was written on a dare that he couldn’t write a book with fewer than fifty words.

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Humor, Personal

Morning Sounds

08/31/2022 X Teri Leave a comment

This morning, as I quietly stood on the landing, I heard someone below fail to realize I was standing above, listening to the sounds of the insects and watching the infrequent traffic. My cat Güino stood next to me, sniffing the air.

A series of staccato flatulent blasts interrupted the nature sounds.

They weren’t mine, in case you’re pondering.

One, two, three, four; the toots almost echoed against the cheap vinyl siding and the wooden platform above the anonymous performer.

I couldn’t help it.

I laughed.

Below, a single word was uttered: “Oops!”

If you can’t even fart outside at 3:30, nothing is sacred.

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Fayetteville, Lemon Moment, Personal, Photography

Rainy Lemon Moment

08/29/2022 X Teri Leave a comment

What a delight it is to watch two small children scampering in this heavy rain. They are squealing with happiness. But I’m also confused because they’re wearing raincoats!
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