All posts by X Teri

06052014 Please Don’t Say This…

“He’s at peace…”  “He’s in a better place…”  “He was a good man…”

I would rather have my carcass loaded with dynamite and detonated on live television than have the traditional inanities uttered after I’m gone, especially if untrue. (Please televise it on Fox news as a sort of beyond-the-grave satire if you choose the detonation method.)

Feel free to speak ill of me after I’m gone – if you have legitimate grievances about how I behaved toward you. If you think I was a nefarious bastard, please say so. If I am guilty of an offense, the truth is not weakened by you saying so. My ears won’t shrivel from your comments. I’m sure that you’ve noticed that no one’s motives are gauged honestly while we are alive. It is foolishness to expect that once we are gone that the same craziness, gossip, and outright insult won’t follow you to the grave. Each of us has our own multitude of opinions about everything and everyone and the truth is that we all judge other people, even if we don’t voice it. Whether you like to call it “judging” it or not is a matter of semantics. Much of the disinclination to speak ill of the dead derives from the hope that we will not be complained about once we are gone. After decades of observation, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that most of the people I’ve been around, watched and listened to have very specific opinions about people who pass. Most seem to maintain the social norm of not being actively vocal during the traditional mourning cycle.

(“It’s generally considered bad form to take a bullhorn to a funeral. ” – X )

But the opinions of individuals remain, layered under a blanket of social acceptance.

Each person has a spectrum of opinions about himself or herself – we are different people to many other people. I have one relative who will undoubtedly be lauded as a great, religious woman, whereas my personal opinion about her is much more harsh. When she passes, it will not be my isolated and personal opinion that lasts; at least, probably not. The fact that our paths don’t merge frequently is even more reason to discount the negative opinions of people in your life – they matter no more in death than while you are alive. My pious relative’s reputation won’t suffer due to my minority opinion. Her opinion that I’m an ass won’t affect my reputation, either.

If I’ve not used my time here appropriately, don’t feel saddened or express remorse. I’ve had a great, long life, even if cut short by a burning meteorite falling from the sky tomorrow morning on my way to work. (Although, dying on the way to work would be a horrible legacy, much like falling over at some hideous place such as Kohl’s or Bed, Bath and Beyond.) Each day has been of my own choosing, with each hour and minute used deliberately and in full realization of how fleeting and precious our time is. If the meteorite hits me tomorrow, don’t stop and waste your time wondering why my time was cut short. Instead, stop in amazement of how dumb we get sometimes, forgetting that time is the most precious commodity and that one person can live more in twenty years than some people live in seventy. I wasn’t promised any length of time and what I did with the time I was given was my responsibility.

I don’t mean to diminish the heart-felt words of others who can express themselves easily after someone dies. I’ve know a few people who are masters of the spoken word, those rare people who can describe a cow pasture while convincing you it would be a great idea to sleep under the noonday sun in the middle of one. Social decorum is generally desirable, but I’m not so sure that it is what is best for us as a species – not all the time.

Most people seem to need the traditional platitude patter and commentary that pervades services and gatherings after a death. In my case, I would love a joyous sharing, even if not all the content is glowing and positive. A service anchored in truth is much more desirable. We’ve all been to the funeral where the evil sister is sitting in the corner, cigarette dangling from her lip, mumbling invoked words of hatred toward the deceased. We all talk about it at the fringes of our overlapped conversation. Everyone had their own ideas about the departed and it is weird to me personally to categorically reject its presence and effect on  everyone. Better to air it out and learn to respond to the awkwardness collectively.

Everything I write in this blog is a feeble attempt to badly describe what’s going on in my head. That, too, changes, much like a series of sunsets. (Each individual sunset, although strikingly different, can still be recognized as a sunset.)

 

08032014 Xmas Wish

Personally, I’ve never been a true believer in how we celebrate Xmas. I’m referring to the secular aspect of it in this short post, not the religious aspect. It’s difficult to get into the “true” spirit of Xmas when you don’t think of Jesus in the way that religion wants you to – which I don’t.

I wish that we could find a way to get away from the mad rush of consumerism. Everyone says it and I’m sure I’m not much different for repeating this trite-but-true cliché. Trying to get away from it would evidently cause our economy to collapse, too, if you listen to the news.

I can easily imagine a world where, instead of waiting until a designated approved day, each of us was encouraged to surprise our friends and loved ones with heart-felt gifts, anytime, throughout the year. This would not only allow us to get away from yuletide consumerism, it would also allow us to individually get gifts without pressure, when we can afford to do so, and to anticipate and plan surprising each of our friends and family as people.

No one would then know when they might be surprised and treated. It would truly be a better way of acknowledging people as people
.
It would kill the growing trend to ruin everyone’s holidays with insane shopping, stress, and pocketbook madness.

I much prefer the ‘surprise’ method of gifting. I periodically do it to remind myself that I’ve always wanted it to be that way.

Maybe this coming year will be the year I finally just do it without concern for how everyone decides to follow the herd?

After all, the person I love the most, my wife, has a xmas eve birthday, so I can easily get by with my alternate plan and still make her happy around xmas.

A thought to consider…

02122013 It’s Not the Thought That Counts

If someone took enough time and creativity to box and package your gift like this, would you feel anything other than happy? It’s not only colorful and crazy, but shows that a significant time investment was given. I would rather get an empty box like this than something obligatory. That’s just me, though.

I don’t want to get gifts that aren’t heart-felt or worthwhile. The minimalist in me doesn’t like it.  : ) I don’t need knick-knacks, clothes or books on fingernail painting. If you are my friend or family you don’t need to prove it to me. Let’s go eat and skip the normal gifts.

Notice I said “normal.” If it’s something humorous or crazy, go for it. But not a set of coffee cups or bath set, unless the bath set contains exploding bath salts or the cups are filled with caribou dung.

If it were the thought that counts, truly, instead of many of the gifts, I would get a note or a picture of something I COULD have had under different circumstances. Take a picture of a new car and tell me that if you win the lottery that the car would be mine.

Give money to your favorite charity. Better yet, give it to my favorite charity.

Better still – surprise me at a random time throughout the year. That suits me just fine. Collective holidays can sometimes surprise me and add meaning – but mostly, the obligatory nature seems to kill much of the “a-ha-ness” of the gifts.

Steve Pavlina

http://www.stevepavlina.com/

This “blog” goes back several years. Off and on, I have went back and re-read many of his posts. While I don’t agree with a lot of it, the truth is that Steve is smarter than me and a  better writer. In case I forget to mention it, he believes a lot of things that I disagree with and that I know aren’t defensible.

I would say that much of his content is the vague ‘personal development’ genre. In light of that comment, I will admit that I once was an avid Wayne Dyer reader. One of my remote family members had a copy of Your Erroneous Zones in English. I read it. Being incapable of understanding most of it, it wasn’t until years later that I realized how blindingly obvious it was – and surprising. Not only did I go on to read all of his books, but I read most of them the first time in Spanish. I reread it until I could cite much of it verbatim.

Especially with some of his earlier writing, I liked the brash style. His comments on religion echoed a lot of what was swirling around in my mind. Paradoxically, his blog also contributed to my interest in returning to church to investigate the fuss before I got too old and close-minded.

The point of this note is to point people toward Steve Pavlina. Agree or disagree, he is one of the best at what he does.

He will piss you off if you are reading closely. Much of his later stuff dealing with his personal choices makes me itch – it really is that far off base.

But many good writers can have great things to say – even when they sometimes sound like madmen dancing in shards of glass.

Words from Steve Pavlina

—Everything in quotes below is from Steve Pavlina. I’ve mentioned his site before. While I don’t agree with a lot of what he says, sometimes his words strike a chord with me. I don’t usually quote long passages. There are enough nuggets of interest hidden in the paragraphs below to interest someone else, too, I would htink. 

“My life and my writing are intricately intertwined, such that it’s impossible to separate the two.  When someone reads this web site, they’ll eventually come to know a great deal about me as a person.  Usually this creates a skewed and inaccurate impression of who I am today because I change a lot over time – I’m not the same person I was last year – but it’s close enough.  Getting to know me makes it easier for people to understand the context of what I write, which means that more value can be transferred in less time.

I’ve told many personal stories on this site, including my most painful and difficult experiences.  I don’t do this to be gratuitous but rather because those stories help make a point – that no matter where you find yourself today, you always have the opportunity to grow in some small way, and no matter how small those changes are, they’re going to add up over time to create massive lifelong growth.  That’s a lesson we all need to remember.”

If the stuff I’ve written on this site means I’ll never be able to run for a political office, I can live with that.  I’m willing to write what is true for me, even if it goes against my social conditioning.  Being honest is more important to me than being popular.  But the irony is that because bold honesty is so rare among civilized humans, in the long run this may be the best traffic-building strategy of all.
People often warn me not to write things that might alienate a portion of my visitors.  But somehow I keep doing the opposite and seeing traffic go up, not down.  I don’t treat any subjects as taboo or sacred if they’re relevant to personal growth, and that includes diet and religion.  It’s no secret that I’m a vegan ex-Catholic.  Do I alienate people when I say that torturing and killing defenseless animals for food is wrong?  Perhaps.  But truth is truth.  I happen to think it’s a bad idea to feed cows cement dust and bovine growth hormone, to pack live chickens into warehouses where the ammonia from their feces is strong enough to burn their skin off, and to feed 70% of our grain to livestock while tens of thousands of people die of hunger each day.  I also think it’s a bad idea to pay people to perform these actions on my behalf.  It really doesn’t matter to me that 999 people out of 1000 disagree with me.  Your disagreement with me doesn’t change what went into producing your burger.  It’s still a diseased, tortured, chemical-injected cow, one that was doomed to a very sad life because of a decision you made.  And you’re still responsible for your role in that cow’s suffering whether you like it or not.

That last paragraph is a good example of the kind of stuff I write that makes people want to put me in a cage, inject me with hormones, and feed me cement dust.  It wouldn’t surprise me terribly if that ends up being my fate.

I write what is true for me, regardless of public opinion.  Sometimes I’m in the majority; sometimes I’m not.  I’m fully aware that some of my opinions are unpopular, and I’m absolutely fine with that.  What I’m not fine with is putting truth to a vote.

I take the time to form my own opinions instead of simply regurgitating what I was taught as a child.  And I’m also well aware that there are people spending billions of dollars to make you think that a burger is not a very sad, diseased, tortured, chemical-injected cow.  But I’m going to keep writing to help you remain aware of things like that, even though you may hate me for it.  That defensiveness eventually leads to doubt, which leads to change and growth, so it’s perfectly fine.  I’m good at dealing with defensiveness.

I don’t worry too much about hurting people’s feelings.  Hurt feelings are a step in the right direction for many people.  If I’m able to offend you so easily, to me that means you already recognize some truth in what I’ve written, but you aren’t ready to face it consciously yet.  If you read something from me that provokes an emotional reaction, then a seed has already been planted.  In other words, it’s already too late for you .

My goal isn’t to convince anyone of anything in particular.  I’m not an animal rights activist, and I don’t have a religion to promote.  My goal is to awaken people to living more consciously.  This requires raising people’s awareness across all facets of their lives, so they can make the big decisions for themselves.  It requires breaking social conditioning and replacing it with conscious awareness and intention.  That’s a big job, but someone has to do it.  And if I don’t do it, then I have to admit I’m just part of the problem like all the other hibernating bears.”

02052014 Post Fragment About Religionthink

I love nothing better than interacting with those rare religious people who don’t feel the urge to push their religious ideas on me. I usually learn a lot and can gauge their ideas without feeling like there is a power dynamic. Why it seems difficult to be both religious and laid-back in one’s approach to sharing one’s ideas is an ongoing puzzle. Any element of coercion about one’s beliefs tends to cause an opposing, resisting reaction in others. Yet, many religious people don’t see it. Much more can be accomplished when you let people discover your religious ideas, after observing how you talk and behave. The power of example communicates more effectively than insisting. (I admit my hypocrisy at not being able to shut up on many topics, too, but none of mine have the underlying threat of eternal loss of soul for disagreement!)

“Truth that is “self-evident” doesn’t need a fist in the face to convince anyone.” – x

Where opinions rule, it is best to avoid the temptation to pontificate, insist, or eye-roll. Like it or not, religious beliefs are indeed opinions. I’ve written many, many times about the breadth and complexity of religions and ideas in the world. It is a  presumption to insist that your particular idea is the “one” which is correct above any other. Millions of people spend their lives studying and thinking about all sorts of religions, yet despite all the intelligence being directed toward religion, a startling array of religions, denominations, and ideas remain, many wildly incompatible with the others. Despite this ongoing intellectual disagreement, some people still pound the table with religious condemnation when presented with an opposing opinion. Quite a few others resist being vocal about their dislike of people thinking they are wrong, but this dislike of opposing religious viewpoints quite often fuels indirect behavior with the intention of quashing doubts in other people.This is one of the many reasons secular societies are preferable to religious ones.

(“After decades of thinking about it, basic capitalism and most religions aren’t compatible without considerable strain on the definition of both sides of the comparison.” – x )

The urge to preach and insist on correctness is too strong for a lot of people. This is the kind of religionthink I don’t like. (To have no doubts, and not think twice about having the power to force your particular concepts on everyone else, usually with arguments about undeniable truth or the obviousness of your claims.) To many, it would never occur to them that they could be wrong about many of their ideas or that they were guilty of some of the sins their own religions would accuse them of. Many know that they must affably claim to recognize their own shortcomings but privately know that theirs is the proper course.

Smallfoot (Tongue-In-Cheek)

smallfoot felix titling

Many of you may soon see me on the news or on A&E. As you’ve probably heard, I’m the 1st person to ever obtain photographic evidence of Smallfoot. (He is a genetic cousin of his larger counterpart Bigfoot but instead of being 7′ tall he is only 3″ in height.)

Instead of “Squatch” we might call him “Squashed.”

I had footage of Smallfoot. Unfortunately, I took it at midnight near a river in West Fork, with the lens cap on evidently. But it’s still further proof. However, the media won’t let me show it to you, for reasons I can’t discuss.

I disbanded the Smallfoot social media community on 12-20-2014.

11102014 Why Dry Counties Are a Waste of Resources

“The assertion that alcohol sales and consumption lead to rampant crime and decay of the moral fiber is no less than a claim that the free citizens of this free nation have neither the moral nor mental capacity to govern themselves and act as responsible members of society without a benign, possibly even theocratic, despotism that seeks to pass judgment….”   (I lost the attribution for this quote. I’m using it anyway and I apologize for not citing its source. – X)  This is a fancy-pants means of saying that you have to trust people to behave responsibly and not interfere with their choices until they misbehave – and not to seek to dictate people’s choices based on your moral grounds.

To ensure clarity in my point: I disagree with attempts to keep counties ‘dry,’ or devoid of the sale of alcoholic beverages. (Given the false pretense that no alcohol is sold in these counties, of course!)

I updated this entry after Amendment #4 failed here in Arkansas. Oddly enough, though, one county voted overall against allowing statewide liquor sales, yet on the same ballot passed a law to allow their own county to be able to sell alcohol. That’s funny on several levels, and a good demonstration of the craziness that characterizes people’s attitude and relationship to alcohol. The liquor stores in wet counties spent millions of dollars to reframe the argument to indicate ones attitude about “local control.” Those arguments are specious and laughable. But they were very, very effective in the vote. In Johnson, one of the most Mayberry RFD little kingdoms in the state, voters passed a law to allow Sunday sale of alcohol, even though it affects almost no businesses and in general the voters there lag significantly behind other areas in attitudes about such things. In the towns where I grew up, both illegal moonshining and bootlegging were very common. Even today, it is rampant.

Arkansas will eventually become totally wet and statewide liquor sales will be the norm. Like all social issues, it will be defeated by slimmer and slimmer margins. Over time, people will see through the ineffectiveness and hassle of having such crazy repressive laws on the books. It’s not a moral issue and continuing to frame it that way is going to lessen the ability to keep the laws unchanged.

First, restricting availability only serves to ensure that those without the means won’t have the same access to alcohol as those with better transportation and disposable income will have. If you argue that people with less money shouldn’t be spending it on alcohol, that is an elitist attitude. It’s true, of course, that money needed to maintain one’s life and health shouldn’t be wasted on alcohol; on the other hand, being rich doesn’t excuse the expenditure, either. We could all find better uses for our money than spending it alcohol. But that’s true of eating out, going to sporting events, trips, or how big our house is. Alcohol is still tainted by the old prohibitionist attitude.

Second, limiting access to otherwise legal activities or substances usually has an underpinning of moral superiority somewhere in the mix. Telling an adult “no” because they might misbehave is terrible public policy.

Third, if you vote down alcohol sales in your own backyard and yet drink elsewhere, where people allow one another to live freely until they do something illegal and/or stupid, you should consider that this sends the wrong message about how steadfast your beliefs might actually be. I would never prohibit an activity in my own backyard and partake of the same the activity just because of a different geographical location. Whether it is alcohol or bow hunting, if I fight it where I live, I’m not going to do it anywhere else, either.

Fourth, please don’t use the presence of children to force abolition on others. If you don’t want alcohol sold in your area, please don’t drink around children. It sends a conflicting message. Of course, you might counter with the claim that any good parent can demonstrate, explain and educate their children on the social downfall or intoxication and misuse – but so too can anyone else ask for the same right in their area and household. If you fight the availability of alcohol where you live based on your children being exposed to it, you should probably not drink in their presence, whether at home or on vacation. Most places don’t limit access to alcohol with laws such as ours. Children are going to be exposed to it. All you can do is be great parents and be a good example. History has shown that not having alcohol in the house doesn’t serve as a good indicator as to whether ones children will drink inappropriately.

Fifth, where alcohol is sold can be regulated easily. Whether your goal is to maintain an appearance such as to avoid gaudy signs or deterioration, you can pass laws to specify those concerns. The same holds true as for hours of operation, proximity to schools, the taxation amount and so forth.

People who drink are going to find ways to drink, especially when it is just a question of geography.

In simple terms, you have to trust me to drink responsibly, to not engage in illegal behavior, to treat my fellow human beings with the courtesy they deserve, to not drive under the influence, to not expose children to activities detrimental to their well-being – all of which is already expected of those who are responsible citizens.

The Perryman Report is a great read for anyone denying that prohibition is anything but negative on a place’s economic strength. The ability to control sale of alcohol has no effect on consumption. Many studies have shown the going “wet” has decreased a region’s per capita accident rate and increased its economic strength.

 

A Personal Blog, A Personal Note

“I can only write from the porch of my narrow world.” -x

(Note: some people try to stretch everything said and done to include people not intended to be included in commentary. If someone else is trying to get you to believe that I’m talking about you, please stop and look at the person trying to make the claim. If you think I’m writing about you, there is probably nothing I can say to dissuade you from the idea. )

Part of the reason I started this blog was to get my words out, even if imperfectly, so that no one could easily set their own record in my regard. This isn’t a two minute dash to angrily lash at people. It’s a long-term commitment to share some parts of me. When I’m gone, it will be hard for people to attempt to change the nature of who I was. They will try, but these thousands of hours of both seriousness and farce written here will drown out the attempt. A person doesn’t just sit down one morning and write hundreds of posts without some type of motivation.

(Even if misguided motivation. Everyone reading this has their own hobbies. Whether it is sports, napping, television, long walks, or any other activity, it translates into time being spent in the manner you see fit, even if no observable benefit to you or society will result. Each of “wastes” our lives to some degree.)

For those who know me personally, you can’t just accidentally find this blog and start reading. If by miracle that is how you found me, you should know that continuing to read it is a choice. Like any account of a person’s life, my words suffer from the present moment, meaning that a person’s mood at a specific moment can “color” the tenor and meaning of one’s words. A careless synonym can sometimes set a reader’s mind far away from the intended meaning. In the same way that the bible admonishes masters to not overhear their servants, you should know as you read that written words are powerful things, capable of provoking emotions that weren’t intended.

Revisionists insist on painting their lives with a soft brush. They are so damaged they’ve even given themselves convincing amnesia about their past. I’ve written a lot about the need to remember that my parents were capable of so much good – when they weren’t at the mercy of alcohol or anger. The violence overshadows that potential. But I don’t walk around whimpering about my horrible childhood and I don’t use it to justify anything I’ve done. Whatever stupid or bad things I’ve done are at my own feet. People who know me intimately will tell you that it is almost ‘just’ a horrible story to me. I laugh about it quite often. Not that fake laugh-to-cover-unhealed-wounds laughter, but the authentic, healthy “Can you believe it?” laughing.

Much of my goal each day is to avoid cynicism.

 

Forgiveness

Becoming Minimalist Blog Link About Forgiveness

I love the Becoming Minimalist  blog. But I loathe the idea that some people aren’t toxic and that sometimes normal people don’t deserve to say “no more.” I do NOT say that forgiveness is not worth striving for. I also do NOT say that forgiveness requires reconciliation with the person who has wronged you.

For this post, I’m not focusing so much on the criminal justice aspect of forgiveness. This mostly refers to interpersonal forgiveness.

Why must “forgiveness” be collectively agreed upon to be a total acceptance of what someone has done to you AND that you allow the person full access to your life and emotions again? This goes against what I see day in and day out, regardless of religious viewpoint or temperament of those involved.

Let us all perhaps agree that if someone has wronged you and you’ve made peace with what happened, that you have arrived at a mental place where you are no longer wasting time or emotional injury on the wrong and don’t wish any ill will toward the person who wronged you, then this counts as “forgiveness.” Is that too much to ask? We shouldn’t treat all wrongs as equal in the eyes of a victim. Being gossiped about is not comparable to being abused, stolen from, or accused of something vile.

The essence of forgiveness is whether the wrong has not only left a scar, but changed the focus of the victim to anything except full pursuit of his or her own life and without further consideration for the wrong done to him or her. – x

“Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as revenge, with an increased ability to wish the offender well.Forgiveness is different from condoning (failing to see the action as wrong and in need of forgiveness), excusing (not holding the offender as responsible for the action), pardoning (granted by a representative of society, such as a judge), forgetting (removing awareness of the offense from consciousness), and reconciliation (restoration of a relationship)….”

Someone I know once said “I might forgive him, but I’m not going to go to lunch with him.” This attitude speaks of an intelligent decision, made with the intention of not spending any more life energy on the person being forgiven, nor judging or interfering in that person’s trajectory, now separate from your own. There’s no reconciliation with the person who wronged you, but neither is there a focus on the ‘wrong’ that happened, nor wasted time or emotions from the victim. I think this is a great baseline for forgiveness.

To forgive isn’t to forget, despite the cliché…

It is easy to preach and recommend that everyone practice forgiveness and acceptance. But what do you say about  people affected by violence, abuse, anger, alcoholism, drug abuse and sheer evil?

For those of you who have lived bountiful lives and have never known just plain evil, toxic people, good for you. I’m no advocate for violence or reprisals – but I’m certainly not for putting yourself back into the reaches of people who violate the world and the people in it. There are enough great people in the world to justify not getting slapped in the face repeatedly by those you have around you due to “forgiveness.” Better to spend your valuable time focusing on the good people and as for the rest, I vote to make it a case-by-case basis.

When you are preaching about forgiveness and acceptance during the holidays, please take a long minute to mention that you understand that many people are suffering under situations that don’t deserve a second attempt. (Or twenty-third try, for that matter.) Knowing that someone is akin to a deadly viper and taking steps to avoid a venomous bite is not a mark against your well-being or mental health!

It is quite possible to write toxic people out of your life without needing to forgive them, if you are using any definition other than the one I proposed. It’s a strange attitude that excludes the ability to be at peace despite having given up on a few people. At times it isn’t rational to try to reach out to someone who has grossly demonstrated their horrible inner self. Decades of careful observation has proven to me that most people don’t truly forgive those who has truly done them evil. It might be an ideal, but one which finds little practice in the world.

I know countless people who say they have forgiven in-laws, ex-friends and co-workers, yet they freely admit that they will never be comfortable with them again. In many cases, they won’t be in the same place with them at the same time, or talk to them ever again. Despite avoiding any contact with those they have forgiven, they would still say that they have truly forgiven the people who grievously wronged them. Which I understand. (I’m not sure this falls under “forgiveness,” though)

Recently, it seems I’ve been inundated with variations on a theme due to people advocating blanket forgiveness and that not doing so equals some defect in those who don’t practice universal and unilateral forgiveness. I think these people need to try to understand what I think a healthy definition of forgiveness is.

————————————-
Odds and ends…

Even the Christian god is believed to reserve the right of condemnation to hell for those who are deemed unworthy. And yet the New Testament preaches that god is about love. I know it’s an argument away from my thesis, but both god’s judgment and god’s love make for strange bedfellows when butted up against any argument in favor of forgiveness.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive.”
― Wm. Paul Young, The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity

“What was the point of being able to forgive, when deep down, you both had to admit you’d never forget?”
― Jodi Picoult, The Tenth Circle

“Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back. You’re done. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to have lunch with the person. If you keep hitting back, you stay trapped in the nightmare…”
― Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”
― Alexander Pope, An Essay on Criticism

 “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.”
― John F. Kennedy

“To be wronged is nothing, unless you continue to remember it.”
― Confucius

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
― Nelson Mandela

“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” – William Blake