Category Archives: Behavior

Behavior, Opinion, Psychology, Social Rules

(An Odd Zen Realization)

03/11/2025 X Teri Leave a comment

Every path comes with a price.

Decisions narrow your options.

You can’t travel to two places simultaneously.

To choose one thing lessens your ability to do others.

To choose one person is an exclusionary decision.

Specializing in one job means you can’t work elsewhere.

Setting aside time for a hobby reduces the time, energy, and concentration for others.

The contradiction in life is that unlimited choices aren’t real.

Once you’ve chosen, the battle is appreciating the hobbies, the people, the job, the place you live, and all the results of narrowing your options.

In all things, be as enthusiastic as possible in the choices you’ve made.

Happiness results from freely choosing and doubling down on what you’ve chosen.

Freedom is the ability to make those choices.

Money can’t buy happiness but it definitely provides options.

Perversely, most people do not take fruitful advantage of the options that money provides and instead insist on accumulating more wealth.

What would your life look like if your financial situation could never improve?

Make your choices deliberately and wisely.

Time is limited.

Avoid passive choices or paths you didn’t take on purpose.

What approaches us will likely greatly reduce our ability to make choices.

Chaos is inevitable and you need to understand that even if you do everything correctly, you can still fail by whatever measure you judge by.

We live our lives independently, but each of us is subject to a myriad list of things out of our control.

Each of us will need to adopt a new attitude and find ways to do more than merely survive.

If you can’t be creative and find a way to live meaningfully when things get tough, you will needlessly suffer.

There should be no shame or regret if your choice is to live in the moment.

Behavior, Government, Justice, Opinion, Personal, Politics, Protest, Racism and Prejudice, Security, Trump

Hate

03/10/2025 X Teri Leave a comment

Earlier today, someone shouted an old Spanish nickname of mine. It was an odd place to hear an old nickname. I remembered him immediately because he had the same smile, although it was hidden behind twenty additional years of hard-earned wrinkles. I will call him Sonrisa.

He told me he works with my old friend Carlos. After joking about the unlikelihood of Carlos working much and sharing a laugh, Sonrisa told me that Carlos was giving up on getting the citizenship that he had been promised for years. Both Carlos and Sonrisa are incredibly hard workers. Sonrisa told me a version of the same story I’ve been hearing repeatedly over the last few months: most of their cohort has given up on the United States being the promised land it once was.

They’ll probably return to El Salvador. It will be a loss for everyone. Not only are they hard workers, but they’re funny even in English.

They didn’t used to be prone to cynicism. Sonrisa remembered that I was one of the few gringos who actively stood out in the crowd in recognition of the contribution of Latinos.

He wasn’t surprised when I told him that there was not much hope in sight to feel respected as long as the current crowd of political idiots get their way.

I’m paraphrasing, but Sonrisa added, “You know he’s an idiot when he starts a fight with a friendly white country like Canada. I know if we go back to El Salvador we’ll experience similar authoritarian BS like we do here. But at least it won’t be based on prejudice.” He added, “I remember years ago when you said it was better for people to curse you directly to your face because then at least you knew who they were. We had a few great years here where the racists mostly kept to theirselves. We always knew it was there. But now? He gave them permission and gasoline to act openly.”

There’s no need to explain what people mean when they use the word ‘HE.”

I waved goodbye to Sonrisa and asked him to tell Carlos hello for me.

I silently hoped that 47 and the people who support him don’t get their way. But on the other hand, as always, a little part of me also hoped that they would continue to f*** around and find out.

Not only about the absence of a sufficient workforce to prop up our economy, but also the unavoidable consequences of believing that you can denigrate one group of people without harming the respect threshold for everyone else

Hate breeds hate, and distrust contaminates everyone.

There is no “them.” They are us and vice versa. You’ve simply avoided being targeted. Yet.

Authoritarians and those who believe they have the right of superiority are never content. Fear-mongering is an appetite that never lessens.

Behavior, Government, Opinion, Politics, Psychology, Safety, Security, Social Rules

The Danger of Uncertainty

03/01/2025 X Teri Leave a comment

One of the reasons apocalyptic shows and books are so fascinating is that they share the themes of human morality. When deprived of food, comfort, or stability, our prefrontal cortex surrenders to the amygdala, the lizard part of our brains. One of the truths of human nature is that much of our morality is built on the foundation of having our basic needs met. When your brain overwhelms your critical thinking, it takes a massive effort to overcome the instinctive response that results. People underestimate how complex our instinct mode is – or fail to appreciate how our brains misinterpret danger signals, even in everyday life. In short, you can’t think about goodwill toward men or write poetry when your belly growls.

The above partially explains why judging someone is easier when things get complicated.

This is one reason massive social change is a losing bet. While people might be fed, they lose their sense of continuity, security, and stability. Going hungry pulls the nail out of human decency. Too much change takes away people’s ability to cope. This is true even if the changes are favorable. It’s no accident that rapid technological change and its consequences bring anxiety. Because we’re all sitting in the same soup pot, we frequently fail to see the bigger picture because we focus on the symptoms rather than the central issue.

This is obvious to those of us who were threatened by the absence of our needs being met growing up—those who haven’t don’t experience the same reality. Your body and brain don’t forget the trauma caused by feeling threatened or in danger.

If a person or people in society reach the tipping point toward helplessness, things get ugly quickly. The 4% rule stipulates that only a tiny portion of the population can trigger massive social movements or react to sudden changes. It’s as if our collective subconscious realizes that the status quo isn’t working. We often seek a resolution, even a bad one, over continuing in the current state. We sometimes burn down the house to get rid of the houseflies.

This is another valid argument for ensuring that we care for everyone’s basic needs. If we do not strive to meet people’s basic needs, chaos will bubble up – and often universally trigger a volatile reaction.

Some are blind to the ideal of the American Dream that most of us grew up believing: work hard and be rewarded. Or that government is the cohesive force behind it all to provide stability. Current events have put these components in jeopardy. You can’t effectively destabilize the government without hitting the hornet’s nest of societal upheaval. If you monkey with the stability variable, you’ll get some nasty results. People will set their metaphorical houses on fire instead of rationally attempting to adjust to what feels like uncontrollable chaos.

It’s fascinating to watch the younger generations react. They are the critical ones, watching and learning invisible lessons. It falls to them to decide what will become of the mess the dinosaurs of today are creating. They don’t see themselves as the future because, like us, they mostly grew up thinking that society’s undefined “adults” had things in check. We do not. We are winging it and ignoring the dangers of continuing on this path of uncertainty.

These are just thoughts that not everyone understands.

X
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Fool’s Wish

Praying isn’t going to help my helpless and hopeless friends
God slept through the Holocaust, so I doubt he cares how this ends
He might have put all this in motion, but he’s left the building

Though you think you’re on the side of righteous
The other side thinks you’re completely wrong
Ain’t no use competing with deafness and fervor

We have to run and jump in the water no matter how deep we find it
Some of us are going to get pushed and experience confinement
But that’s going to happen anyway, even if we keep our hands at our sides

What you don’t know about bullies is that they don’t need an excuse
They’ll punch you even if your arms are at your sides
It’s a lesson learned by millions of women throughout history

Some people need enemies no matter how they find the world
Others take pleasure in inflicting harm and constant pain
You can’t placate or talk them down from their thrones

Bullies are hard-wired to respect nothing but violence
It takes a greater force to shut them up for good
Waiting for someone to step in is a fool’s greatest wish

No logic, compassion, or love will reach them
Wishing it won’t make it so
The only thing understood is karmic retaliation

God slept through the holocaust, so I doubt he cares how this ends

Behavior, Government, History, Justice, Opinion, Personal, Politics, Psychology, Social Rules

Blessed Be The Fruit

02/20/2025 X Teri Leave a comment

Blessed Be The Fruit

People are discussing the complexity of the human capacity for collective evil. Whether one section of the population likes to acknowledge it or not, Germany’s example constantly pops up.

How can so many people stand by and watch the country descend into madness?

The best way to visualize this capacity is to watch the movie The Stanford Experiment. If you’re even slightly interested in the psychology of collective misbehavior, this is the easiest shortcut to benchmark how things go astray so deeply, even with intelligent and otherwise kind people.

The same effect applies to police, the military, or even people making decisions in business.

Anyone who’s never experienced the environment of a production line might not understand it. Each employee is present to earn a living and mostly do a good job. Those who own the production line want to profit while providing a living for those who work there. An interesting thing often happens, especially in poultry and similar industries.

The need for profit puts those in charge of the environment, the efficiency, and the speed of the production line often blurs the line of humanity by increasing the demands on those working it. It becomes hard to perform the job safely over time. People suffer the indignity of sometimes being able to exit the line long enough to take care of their basic bodily needs. For some, it becomes easier to dehumanize those who perform the jobs in order to be profitable and efficient.

The above can’t be explained to someone who hasn’t experienced it.

The same effect applies throughout our society. We justify less than a living wage, even though we know these jobs are necessary and that our collective decision to fail to pay sufficiently to live even a basic life is causing misery. All of this is based on economic concerns rather than the primary focus of human happiness and dignity. It is a them problem rather than an us problem.

We don’t provide universal health insurance, even though doing so would cost less than our current system. But this does not stop us from passively watching as millions of people suffer from a lack of health care or go bankrupt.

We put on our hats of authority and often forget the results of callousness. It’s our job, we think. Society apparently wants it to be that way, or we would have intervened to change it. We make decisions without consideration for how they impact people, or we are put in a position to be powerless to change things.

We marginalize certain groups. Over time, this gives us a silent yet undeniable tendency to view others as lesser. This justifies our collective behavior that often results in denigration or harm to the people in those groups.

My upbringing gave me an unholy understanding of the possibility of violence inside people. Even the pious in my family found ways to justify turning a blind eye toward what can only be called evil. Family who could observe a child being hurt and find ways in their minds, especially based on the societal norms around them, to fail to act to protect them, were they evil? Or were they just the product of their environment? Several of them held dear their holy books – and did not react well when I grew up and became confrontational about the disparity between their alleged message of love and kindness. That message had justified their deliberate choice to do nothing.

People in history are no different from us, even if we want to think they were. This gives us a pass and carte blanche to continue to behave inhumanely, even if we are technically just doing our job or fulfilling our role as citizens.

Love, X

Behavior, Government, History, Justice, Law, Opinion, Personal, Politics, Social Rules, Trump

Lost

02/17/2025 X Teri Leave a comment

It is the office itself that yields the honor and respect, rather than the person temporarily assuming its duties.

The expectation of someone behaving in a presidential manner is one that’s been shattered. For some, this is a welcome change. For others, it’s a chaotic and devastating reality.

We have demonstratively proven that anyone can become president.

Growing up most of us were superficially exposed to the civil war. Almost all we learned was of dates and places and broad themes. We did not then viscerally understand how a nation could become so irreparably shattered.

We go about our lives because that’s what we can do.

Regardless of your political affiliation, those of us paying attention now unfortunately feel it in our bones. Whether you’re excited about the upheaval recently brought to Washington or you’re onvinced that our government is in jeopardy, I don’t think people will generally deny that this is something much different.

We are united on paper much in the same way that Jefferson’s hollow words about all men being equal applied only to white wealthy men.

The intelligent people I trust are saying the same thing. Countries who were once allies are unilaterally warning one another and the world. People have shouted that the sky is falling and cried wolf before. It feels different this time because it is.

This isn’t Clinton refusing to resign even though he should have. Or Bush demonstrating incompetence.

I will be surprised if the end of February has not brought us to cataclysm.

People need stability, as does the economy, and society in general.

The struggle through the generations to create a reality in which all people, regardless of belief, religion, skin color, or their sexual identity could coexist in peace now resembles a dystopian fantasy.

Power and progress are both unstable. The problem with authority and authoritarianism is that they both fall into chaos.

Chaos is inevitable. Entropy governs the universe.

Those who currently seek to redefine America will learn the lesson.

Behavior, Opinion, Personal, Psychology, Relationships

October Wonder

10/27/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

The exuberant blush of the chilly October morning passed. My arms were heavy from relentless push-ups, ones executed to silence my imagination and mind. The fleeting and mercurial chance to venture out and sit among the mountains of scattered fallen leaves passed as the shadows of the morning disappeared. The chance to hold a hot cup of coffee and share the absurdity of humor as the crows called. I grew tired of my mind, wanting only presence. So I sat and watched the gentle breeze move the remaining green limbs of the trees. The accompanying sun attempted to pierce the gauzy Autumn clouds. It was a reverie that inevitably concluded when I put on my practical shoes. The magic of the morning that I love evaporated into the ether. But still my mind wandered in the cavern contained and concealed inside of me. It’s one of the consequences of living in boxes. Swooping high above, there are a million boxes and each one contains a universe of self-contained minds. Sonder strikes differently on fall mornings. It is the interconnectedness of us that makes it worthwhile. If it feels lacking, not much effectively works as a distraction.

And I’m floating.

PS I wrote the above words yesterday morning. I listened to Spencer Sutherland wail “Alive.” And though I shared these words, I’m frustrated that I’m experiencing the same disconnectedness this morning. The easy fix evidently stretches too far for some. It’s obvious I don’t lack the words or the ability to communicate. So, I blasted “Alive” again and reminded myself to be grateful for what I do have instead of that which lacks. I remind myself that it’s human nature to fail to appreciate the 80% to chase the 20%. The problem is that the magic tends claim residence in the 20%.

Love, X

Behavior, Government, Opinion, Politics, Trump

Blue

10/23/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

I voted today, without waiting at any point.

I voted against him for the 6th time in my adult life. It’s amusing that his presence in the political arena pushed such a blatant liberal as me into the conservative primaries.

He’s not even the problem.

The problem is now that many of us realize that no matter how many gains we make, such a person ill-suited for political office can subvert the political process.

It’s not my job to convince anyone that he’s dangerous. If his closest allies and advisors, combined with his encyclopedic list of flaws can’t present the clear and present danger he is to our democracy, there’s certainly nothing I can add.

When I left the voting center, I’m certain I experienced one of the most beautiful views possible.

Above me, the blue sky.

Behind me? Hopefully the last populist narcissist.

But I know he can’t be. Because the people who will overlook the kind of character and behavior he represents will still be voting.

Behavior, Lemon Moment, Mental Health, Opinion, Personal

Perspective

10/13/2024 X Teri Leave a comment

It’s all perspective. The custom painting in my kitchen alcove expresses it well: “Black Hole Sun-The same sun, yet filtered by negligent eyes, renders darkly all that shines.”

I can worry about the moronic changes in my professional life or look at the parking lot below and consider all the recent ill-advised shenanigans from those who traverse it. I can also turn and look through my large screenless windows into the living room and watch my cat shoot across the uneven levels of the massive cat castle like a feline projectile. Güino doesn’t concern himself with the outside world. His perspective is limited. Given the massive amount of information and bustle I experience on a given day, I think he’s winning in a way that I can’t.

I had infinite energy this morning. So I burned it off like useless gas derivatives being lit at the top of oil refineries.

A lot of our lives are like the burned gasses. We spend so much time and energy wanting to control or direct the world around us. We’d be better off focusing on the immediacy of things and people around us.

Love, X