Category Archives: Personal

Humor, Personal

Afterwit

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There are few opportunities to deploy clever comebacks. Usually, the moment passes, and I think of the perfect response afterward. The French phrase “L’esprit de l’escalier” describes the experience of knowing the ideal reply later. Believe it or not, we have an obsolete phrase in English that encapsulates the same idea: “afterwit.” I vote we bring it back. 

This morning, I proudly used a comeback promptly. 

One of the late-nighters stood by the eternally malfunctioning soda dispenser. These denizens of the night are sometimes called zombies because their higher brain functioning dissipated at least six hours earlier. 

“You look familiar,” she said. 

“I don’t know how. I’ve been in prison for twenty-two years.”

The late-nighter missed the humor in my reply. The clerk looked up and tried not to smile. She’s accustomed to my idiocy. People have a variety of mistaken beliefs about me, all of which I actively encourage. 

“I’m sure I’ve seen you before,” the late-nighter added.

“Well, I used to be in a LOT of adult films.” I didn’t crack a smile. 

As I left, the late-nighter asked the clerk, “Who the hell WAS that?”

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Gift, Lemon Moment, Personal, Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Surprise

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While crossing the parking lot at Harps, I thought I heard someone calling my name. Either that or they were reciting the alphabet. You can’t quite be sure in Fayetteville. 

It was my cousin Diane. She said she had a surprise for me and asked me to drop by her apartment. 

She gave me this brooch. It’s either a beetle or a butterfly from her mom. The wings are spring-mounted, much like my feet when I spot an unattended coffee bar.

Happy Thanksgiving, Diane. 

Mementos and memories.

X

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Personal, Vacation

Change

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I walked out into the ocean yesterday onto a sandbar. The water should’ve reached above my waist. Instead, it reached my ankles. Onlookers from the beach no doubt thought that it was an illusion. I was in the water looking for seashells for Erika. She spotted the sandbar from the beach. I’d seen a couple of jellyfish, but it was the fast-moving fish occasionally darting around me that were startling. I’d hoped the oceanside rim of the sandbar held more seashells. 

One of the best moments was watching Erika toss bread into the air. The birds materialized from nowhere, hovering two feet away, awaiting their morsels. One of the birds marched along with us as we made our way down the shoreline; he was one of those illusive Optimist birds. 

This morning’s early walk was cold. It might have been fifty but the brisk wind found every available means to give me the shivers. It’s hard to complain. All these warm November days were a blessing.

PS Acetaminophen (Tylenol) reduces your ability to empathize. One of those bits of trivia that people don’t seem to be aware of. 

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Personal, Travel, Vacation

Morning

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‘Cheer up, Ed. This is not goodbye. It’s just I won’t ever see you again.’ – Frank Drebin…

Yesterday was a day of rain and piling clouds. I took a long walk before it started. Later, we walked along the beach looking for shells a couple of times until the rain started. Erika has covid; early Monday I tested negative but my congestion said otherwise. 

We watched the first 15 episodes of the nostalgic TV show The Waltons. We also watched the storms through the huge wall length windows next to us. 

This morning I got up too early and decided to get dressed and take a long walk immediately, even before I had a cup of coffee. One of the visiting neighbors nearby set off his car alarm at least ten times. I doubt the late night vacationers appreciated the 2:00 a.m. wake up calls. (Except for the sadomasochists, of course.)

Tomorrow morning it will be 20° cooler. A reminder that the warmer weather has been a privilege. 

X

Lemon Moment, Personal, Travel

Elsewhere

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I woke up the roosters and was out of the hotel room within 10 minutes, after dressing in the mostly dark room. For reasons I can’t remember, it seemed important to get dressed before going out. 

Magee, Mississippi gave me the opportunity to be a stranger in a strange land. It’s one of my favorite things. To wander the dark roads and streets of places I’ve never been and will likely never be again.

With luck, the ocean will be in sight later today. I don’t think I’ve returned since my last visit somewhere around 25 years ago. I’ve lived a couple of lifetimes since. I love the big moments and the epic sights. Who wouldn’t? I still feel like the stolen moments and carved out spontaneous experiences make up the bulk of our lives.

With the exception of the main highway, I owned all the streets this morning. Not a single car passed me. The main highway of course is dotted with people in a hurry to get somewhere else, even at 4:00 in the morning. 

I’ll be one of them later.

I grabbed a cup of coffee on the way out of the hotel lobby prior to my long walk. I’ll bet a million dollars that the cup I get when I go back in will taste immeasurably better. 

It will be the same coffee. But I’ll be a little different. 

Love, X

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Lemon Moment, Personal

Surprise/Change

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I left Señor Conejo on Michael’s car. Michael returned to the job he left recently at the inconvenience store, so it seemed appropriate to leave him a head-scratcher of a surprise.

Señor Conejo has adorned the inside corner of my landing post for a couple of years. It came to me because a friend had ordered it from a Temuesque online store. (Where expectations seldom intersect with reality.) I took some time to fix it, paint it, and adorn it with a wild assortment of a doodads. Chris P. Bacon and Redactyl,  my personal weather dinosaur, both still stand guard along the banister rail. 

Señor Conejo undoubtedly was growing concerned with some of the wild neighborhood shenanigans he has witnessed from his perch above the parking lot.

In one way, I hated to part with Señor Conejo. But it’s time for a renewal. Giving away these personal things capriciously gives me a little pause. 

Then I look up into the early morning sky and realize that one day ownership and sentimentality must ceed their claim to whatever comes next. 

The greater our reluctance to step aside, to yield, or to change, the higher the probability of dissatisfaction and unhappiness becomes.

Love, X

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Personal

*Now

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I visited the cold, clear creek. It was the same as it always is. Indifferent. At the low point, the time change has dramatically shifted the shadows. But in the precarious high spot with a better vantage, there was light. I wish we all had more moments at the apex. Each of us is the creek, passing through. 

X

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Lemon Moment, Personal

Stolen Moment

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I of course was awake when the clocks flipped back an hour. When I went outside I was greeted with strong wind gusts and the clattering echo of someone’s wind chimes lodging their complaint about the unusually warm weather. The clouds above me raced across the sky. 

It was hard for me to go inside. I wanted to watch and listen to the symphony of rustles, chimes, and clouds. Every few minutes, the wind whistled between the wooden fence slats. Unlike most mornings, there wasn’t much traffic, nor were the usual cast of characters mumbling or coming in and out of nearby apartments. 

I went to the inconvenience store for a soda. My trip was mostly a pretext to see if anything unusual would pop up. 

Y’all might have witnessed people going to the store in pajamas. I can go one better. I had to laugh as I watched a woman approach the store wearing her bedspread. That’s either a demonstration of liberation or I-don’t-give-an-eff.

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Animals, Lemon Moment, Personal

Visitor

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Joy. The same day I discovered the abandoned trunk in the trees and brush, I had a joyous moment. Near where I work is a nexus of creek, trails, and wildlife. For whatever reason, this year brought a few squirrels not intimidated by people. If I’m still, a couple of these will approach me, sit near me, or cling to the bark of a tree near eye level. If I lean against one of the box transformers nearby, it might put its paws on the small of my back. Every so often, they let me pet them. Earlier in the week, one of these trusting squirrels approached me excitedly and sat at my feet, twitching and raising its head. I reached down, gave him neck scrunches, and ran my fingers along its back like a cat. The squirrel chattered in response. (It’s one of the squirrels that recently engaged in a squirrel war with a fellow tree dweller and fell on me.) I don’t know what it was telling me as I made contact. When I was done petting it, it picked up an acorn and busily chewed on it at my feet. I suppose it wanted company – and I was glad to have it. It flew me away from the job, the day, and the relentless stupidity we call busyness. 

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Fayetteville, Lemon Moment, Personal

Surprise

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I don’t know what called me to walk along the back spur of the trail. I haven’t been near there in weeks due to the drought and the low creek.

To the right of the path, I saw what initially looked to be a barrel. As I neared it, I realized it was an antique trunk. The lid was carelessly thrown open and a couple of drawers sat haphazardly on top of the trunk’s opening.

Slightly uphill and to the right were the remnants of someone’s memories. Photos, cards, tickets for rock music venues from the 1970s, and personal keepsakes.

Someone had to have taken great effort to get the trunk out there amidst the trees.

I have a lot of questions about how the trunk got there, and of the stranger whose belongings are still carelessly staged and thrown out for display to those adventurous enough to walk through.

Of course I can’t resist the call to do my thing and find out about the woman whose storage trunk of memories are discarded out here.

I’m glad I listened to the call that prompted me to go out among the trees.

But I am also a little disheartened to have found someone’s trunk of memories out here.

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