PSA For people who haven’t used TikTok, it has an invaluable feature that the competitors do not. You can separate your information feed to exclusively show content you specifically follow. Bluesky does the same. TikTok also has a STEM feed if you’re interested in the sciences. Can you imagine the difference your Facebook or Instagram experience would be if you saw only content you chose to follow? Community building is also another feature that’s intrinsic to TikTok. It’s one of the features that threatens the competitors. I’ve been a TikTok fan for years. The advantages of its simple tools are incalculable. Not to mention that it provides a means to earn money for your content. The notion that it is a security risk compared to Google, Meta, Truth Social, or other social media platforms is illogical.
Because I have many acquaintances across the world, I get to observe how they perceive our political and economic systems. We are not held in high regard nor as a standard for governance. The consensus is that our political process is corrupt, possibly beyond repair. Inequitable and corrupt forces aligned to target TikTok. Money wins, of course.
Unfortunately for me, I know a considerable amount about the technology and tracking that allows for some companies to data track us all. It’s why it’s not a concern for me. Even if you choose not to use Facebook or a particular company’s services, these companies still maintain an extensive dossier on you and your interests and activities. Most of our phones default to allowing companies to use our private content to make money.
Five major telecoms were infiltrated last year by hackers. These hacks were not limited to a singular app. I’m surprised by the number of people who are unaware that their private conversations across a variety of apps were compromised.
Finally, I’ll add that the ban currently in effect for TikTok has exemptions for certain government officials. While the app is used predominantly for entertainment for the United States populace, it’s interesting that our government specified an exemption for what could only be described as a propaganda outlet. Which is precisely what our misguided leaders accused TikTok of being guilty of.
Meanwhile, more than 13 million Americans downloaded RedNote. You can’t make this lunacy up.
At 2:02 a.m., I watched a meteorite burn out across the sky to the north. I was sitting by the pool in the dark in a strange place watching the American flag wave across the street. Yesterday’s clouds were gone, leaving an open canopy view of the overhead nigjt sky. The cicadas were keeping me cacophonous company, their shrill ancient sounds providing a background syncopation to my thoughts. I made a wish upon a star. It went right to the heart of my reoccurring theme of abandoning secrecy and living a life of accountability and openness.
We can’t understand ourselves or other people if we continue to insist that we can control and curate the dissonance in our lives resulting from believing that secrecy is beneficial.
Some of my posts are interconnected without seeming to be. A few years ago, I went to one of the local ERs. My family member, who I will call Susan, had an accident. In the course of her treatment, it was discovered she had fallen at home and likely suffered an event triggered by a brain injury. Because I have a background both in medical and secrecy, I was glad to have shown up. Had I not, she would have been administered a medication that likely would have killed her quickly. Another family member had decided to keep Susan’s history of excessive drinking secret. I understand the tendency to not discuss it. Being me, I didn’t hesitate to pull medical staff aside and indicate that alcoholism was an undisclosed factor. The doctor, despite having experience with all manner of such non-disclosure, reacted with surprise and took measures to quickly change how Susan would be treated.
Much later that day, I visited the hospital and discovered that some of the information had not been passed on to the nursing staff. The nursing staff once again immediately changed the medications for the course of treatment for Susan.
I’m not telling the story so that I will somehow look better. People who know me well know the opposite is true. I’m not saying any of this to point the finger at anyone. Most of us do the best we can and hope that we are rationally making the best choices. Family honor, misguided loyalty, and the inability to tell ourselves or the people around us tough truth combine to rob us of a better life.
Part of my truth is that a portion of my identity is tied to the resentment I experience when I deal with people who want to live in secrecy. The stubbornness and resentment has caused me sometimes to stick my foot in icy water and challenge people. My early life is full of such stories. One of those stories resulted in me discovering a sister. Others pushed me into huge fights when I foolishly tilted at windmills and asked people to choose differently. Conversely, the same obstinacy cemented my own feet, resulting in my idiocy morphing words of concern for my choices into accusations. We tend to recognize it later as love or concern. But in the moment? Our defensiveness whispers to us that we are being unfairly attacked.
My life history is littered with people who ruin their lives with alcoholism, addiction, or anger. Every person in my family who drank too much finished their lives still suffering from the little voice in their head that insisted that they continue drinking. It’s one of the reasons I’m proud of my sister. It took her a long time to look back on the arc of her life and tell herself that enough was enough. Each of us usually only takes action when it’s the only other choice. We sometimes talk and nod toward one another, once again agreeing that it has nothing to do with intelligence. We make choices, or adopt maladaptive ways to feel better. And then our strategies turn traitor and entrap us.
All of the preceding words also disclose my volatile resentment regarding secrecy. People can’t develop long-term drinking issues without secrecy. They can’t blow up their marriages without secrecy being perverted into privacy. We can’t become helplessly overweight unless we don’t talk about the elephant in the room or the ostrich in the closet. Depression blossoms because the difference in what people experience inside their private worlds in their heads becomes disproportionately silent. Isolation in thought or action inevitably brings toxicity. Even to otherwise normal behavior that becomes an unhealthy obsession.
If we had to experience the accountability of people around us knowing us in our private moments, it would be difficult to continue the charade of secrecy. Instead of choosing authenticity, we spiral into a cocoon of self-fulfilling prophecy. Image truly becomes the identity we cling to. The people around us flail and overthink because they bear witness to the consequences of our choices. Further out into our personal periphery, the people in our orbit are unaware. Most of the time I think we have this backwards.
A little bit ago, I navigated the dark and put my feet into the pool. After a few minutes, another dimmer meteorite scorched its way into non-existense as it penetrated the atmosphere above me. I didn’t make another wish, even though initially I wished that I wouldn’t overthink. I’m sitting in the late night or early morning of the last day of July. I’ve outlived people who were better than me. Definitely smarter.
For a brief second, the lesson of detachment and gratitude reminded me that it’s to be experienced. And the only way to experience anything meaningfully is to unflinchingly know yourself and live in the reality that you’ve been given rather than the one you attempt to craft.
Secrecy can kiss my ass. It’s no irony that I’m sitting in the dark writing this.
Anyone following technology news is probably aware that AT&T had a massive security breach, one that exposed millions of people to identity theft and fraud.
The latest admission is that those same millions of people could potentially have their call and text logs leaked online. AT&T, like most companies, uses another company to store all of its customer data.
While AT&T is claiming that the content of call logs and texts was not stolen, the truth is that they might be engaging in trickle-truth.
Because I know how people are, even if it were just call and text logs, this means that millions of people could potentially wake up one morning to see that everyone they’ve been texting or calling is online for anyone to see. That’s bad enough. But imagine if the content of these calls and texts were disclosed as well.
People who know me have heard me remind them to be cautious about what they store, much less send. If it is sent, it is always possible that it will be revealed. It doesn’t matter how much security you or a company uses to prevent data theft. If you have transmitted it, stored it online, or have it contained on your phone, it is, of course, potentially a risk to your privacy.
Digital information of any kind is a risk. People blithely use technology and forget that what’s transmitted might live forever. It’s exactly like DNA, to be exposed years after the fact.
The cleverest hackers obtain data without leaving footprints as they do so. You’d never know that someone has everything you’ve done sitting in a database somewhere.
The AT&T mess is another reminder that privacy and secrecy are an illusion. Locks, passwords, and security measures are important. But they can never guarantee that every bit of your personal information might not be accessed, copied, or published.
This is especially true for AT&T customers, but it is great advice for everyone.
The AT&T leak was pernicious because all your information, including your social security number, address, phone number, etc might have been exposed.
We often don’t know it happened with other breaches – or we find out much later.
While your password might not have been exposed, the people using this information are doing stacking. They wait and then peek into an account to see if they get access. Usually, it’s long enough after the fact that you will only notice if you have two-factor authentication turned on for everything important. They cross-reference information across multiple accounts, usually because people reuse passwords and don’t update them appropriately. Those engaging in this target the easiest sites and behaviors.
People forget that while using their phones and shopping on sites the risk of someone intercepting their information increases. The risk increases drastically if you’re constantly linked to WiFi instead of your cellphone signal. Advertisers and tracking cookies are a pain in the ass, but most of the issues with information being stolen are more a matter of you giving it to them under the incorrect assumption of safety. Two-factor authentication is a lock to which only you have the key. But locks are only as good as the skill level and persistence of the people trying to break in. Regardless of your phone or account security, anyone sufficiently motivated can gain access.
The other cardinal rule is that if you store anything online or on your phone, you should assume that someone gets it no matter how diligently you protect it. Most of our personal information is already easily obtained.
It’s also a given that you should be checking your credit reports for free at least once a year. Even better if you are using a monitoring service.
As careful as I am, doing so has helped me avoid a few potentially massive headaches.
Don’t answer your phone if it seems to be your bank, credit card company, or retailer. Don’t click on a link in a text or email. Always initiate a reply by calling or emailing the bank directly.
The scams are getting exponentially better.
PS If you have your friends list visible on Facebook, you have the answer as to why your account is being cloned constantly. We are lucky that people with bad intentions pick the easier targets, just as people who steal cars or the contents therein usually walk around pulling door handles. It’s extremely hard to gain access to someone’s Facebook account unless they fail to use two-factor authentication, which is the equivalent of leaving your door unlocked.
I start these kinds of posts by saying, “I’m a liberal, but…” Every person needs to be DNA profiled at birth. Not just for paternity but also for identification. We all submit fingerprints and other biometric data, as well as register for selective service. Of course, such data can be misused. Everything can be misused and often is. I still participate in GEDmatch, the service which law enforcement uses to compare DNA for crimes. My DNA allows investigators to triangulate relatives across generations and an incredible number of people. Obviously, this is a problem for people who mistakenly believe they avoid detection due to choosing to have no DNA samples taken. DNA belongs to all of us, whether we like it or not. For example, if they can guess someone’s age within a few years, they can identify almost everyone by taking a random DNA sample from anything. Anonymity is a smokescreen, just like privacy.
It’s also spectacular to see archaic/ancient DNA family members, such as the Neanderthals 49,000 years ago. What’s fascinating is that Erika and I overlap with almost all the known ancient DNA samples. It is wild to think that we have common ancestors 2000+ generations ago who moved across the continents and started new lineages that once again converged. This is true for most of us. We usually only think of the last few hundred years for ethnicity. The reality is not so short-sighted; most of us derive from the same vast gene pool hidden in the shadows of forgotten and unrecorded history.
Rarely does a day pass when I don’t think momentarily about the satisfaction of knowing my suspicions about my family were true. My relatives kept secrets for their own selfish reasons, blissfully unaware that technology would soon rip the ability to conceal truth and people from the rest of us. I missed decades of knowing a sister was out there, that my cousin Jimmy had a daughter he would have loved to get to know. I am certain there are other surprises and people on the fringes of being discovered. I waited almost a decade to find my sister.
As gigantic as my family tree is, I still have several ‘floaters’ who escape placement. When I first started, I had my grandma’s family tree back for hundreds of years. It was obvious by five or six generations that somewhere along the line, the parents attributed to them were not biologically related. I deleted dozens of generations from my family tree branches as a result. I still love family trees. The research, the triangulation, and the discovery. But none of it compares to the black magic science of DNA, the stuff that literally codes us. It also makes the inevitability of one day having a billion-person family tree a reality. With incredibly sophisticated computers, not only will everyone’s DNA be codified, but each of us will be woven into the most complex family tree ever imagined.
In theory, each of us has 128 5th-great grandparents. I have only about 1/2 in my family tree, and a portion of those are due to DNA only. Due to pedigree collapse, this is often not the case. (A fascinating concept in itself.) Going back further into history, our trees were not coned-shaped. Due to the mule rule, most marriages happened within the range of 2nd cousins or closer. Most people lived their lives in a 5-mile radius. You can’t trust family trees based on paper trails and documents. At least a 1/3 of such trees become inaccurate by the time your great-grandparents are involved. This is true even if the best researcher in the world does your family tree. DNA steps in to fill gaps you didn’t even realize were there. I don’t look at family trees like I once did thanks to this. They simply are not reliable.
Intermittently, the databases used to calculate ethnicity get updates. More people participate, and science gets increasingly more exact. It’s the perfect analogy for science; what you think you know evolves with new information. Whatever you identify as it’s usually an agreed-upon and arbitrary association when you factor in the span of modern human history.
I am in awe of the science. I’m certain that as our curiosity builds in tandem with technology we’re going to find even more striking revelations built into the tiniest components of the cells of our body. For many, this is troublesome. Not for me. It’s a revelation of discovery.
I stopped at the inconvenience store on the way home. The Nepali clerk was stocking the lottery scratch-off rolls. She had one loose one left that she didn’t want to place loosely in the holder. “Do you want it?” she asked. “No,” I initially replied. But then I realized I should tempt fate. “How much is it?” I asked. “$10 dollars.” Hmmm. “Well, okay, let’s tempt fate. Maybe this will be one of those stories of coincidence.” The guy behind me said, “That would be amazing!” I took it over by the self-scanner and scratched the reader strip without bothering with the top half. I won my $10 back. Though it sounds stupid, for just a moment, I had this feeling that perhaps the universe was about to open one of its rare surprise boxes for me. The clerk and the other man felt it too. We all laughed in recognition of thinking that maybe we almost witnessed a surprise.
As I headed to my car, two addicts approached, a man and a woman. I recognized the man from a previous encounter. He’s difficult to understand. They were walking a large, sweet-natured dog, which I kneeled and petted. I figured out the man wanted a cigarette, so I went inside and got them cigarettes. The woman was beyond appreciative. They moved to the side of the building to smoke. She held her back in a certain way, which I recognized as serious back pain. She’d seen better days. Her clothes were dirty, and her hair was probably a mess three days ago. But she smiled back at me, even as she seemed to understand what her male companion was saying. Though I grew up with the worst mumbler on the planet, my dad, I scarcely understood every fifth word her companion uttered. The woman looked at me again and made eye contact.
I smiled back, hoping an infusion of a bit of my energy might reach her.
You never know.
About any moment.
. . .
Earlier in the week, I received an unprovoked attack email that denigrated me with seething anger. Happy people don’t write words like those. I felt sorrow and sympathy for the author. I’m certain that the author doesn’t understand that the mere act of sending such an email telegraphs to anyone with an appreciation for human behavior and psychology that they are unhappy. Part of their motivation was to be a revisionist of the past; that’s normal, and everyone does it. People need to buttress their self-image. Revisionists are easy to spot because of their reluctance to admit wrongdoing or cast themselves in a questionable light. That’s not to say that some of what they wrote isn’t accurate! It is incomplete, however.
The other part was an attempt to silence me when I write about parts of my life that overlap. I go out of my way most of the time to avoid spilling people’s secrets or the things that they prefer to be kept hidden. Most people aren’t like me. They won’t share their warts, believing that people don’t otherwise know. This is one of the reasons I can’t be blackmailed. I’ll spill my secrets regardless of whether I need to. I’ll release nude pictures of myself after eating six Happy Meals. I don’t care. It’s hard to shame someone who willingly shares their life. I think back to dealing with some of my family, who spent years failing to dissuade me from finding out some of my family history.
As for convincing people that they have the wrong idea about me, that’s foolish. If people have only a partial story, it’s hard to blame them for listening to the person with the ax to grind. “Only the spoon knows what is stirring in the pot” is always an apt phrase to remember. As for the rest, slander is when you willfully and knowingly speak mistruths, and libel is when you write them. And if it is true? It’s neither.
It’s odd to see self-righteousness from someone who doesn’t share their full story. I don’t feel self-righteous precisely because I’m the first to say I’ve been a hypocrite. But I’m not ashamed to share the stupid things I’ve done. But I do know that I know a lot that would embarrass the hell out of people. It’s not my job to share it, nor do I want to. I write about this when I reference seeing behind so many people’s curtains.
I willingly open my curtains, even if makes you wonder if I’ve lost my damn mind.
I won’t open your curtains unless it overlaps with my story.
Go be happy.
It’s easy NOT to hear me or read my words. Change the channel, don’t look at my social media or blog, and just live a happy life.
P.S. Parenthetically Speaking 